Oct 26, 2006 00:40
and now the inaugural questions for a new part of my lj, which I'd like to affectionately call...
Ask Rusty! My Butt Itches!
(it's funnier if you say the title out loud)
Dear Rusty-
Do you have a prefered method of contraception? Is it abortion?
Pregnant in Peoria
Peoria,
that's an excellent question. I actually don't use contraception. much like freeballin' I simply don't wear a condom. I actually collect my juices in jars and use a turkey baster afterwards, if you get my drift.
because of this, I have 27 children scattered across the continental united states (b/c, c'mon... the first rule they teach you is don't fuck a Hawaiian.)
NEXT.
Dear Rusty,
Is your wishing of Tim Gunn being your dad a result of a suppressed Oedipal desire to kill your own father, and therefore it would be much easier to kill sassy pants Tim Gunn then BIG STRONG LUMBERJACK MATT!? I want ask about Pam though....we won't go there...
- Blind in Thebes (or whatever the F Oedipus is King of)
Dear Thebes (or liz, b/c you're a fucktard and didn't follow the rules by posting anonymously),
Yes?
I appreciate the Oedipal route you attempted in trying to psychologically figure out my Gunn patriarcal fantasies. the answer is much simpler:
I like broccoli.