(no subject)
This week has been a bit weird. I've been pretty manic, but trying to manage it without taking a bunch of drugs. I am taking the regular stuff, but not the break through stuff. So it's been a lot of not sleeping and dealing with anxiety and hallucinations. Thankfully finally today things were a bit calmer. I finally went to the grocery store on my own this afternoon and made it through without too much panic.
B and I leave on Saturday morning to go on our overnight date. I figured going out today was a good test to see if I was going to loose my shit when it came time to leave. I was a little worried come Saturday morning I was going to be flipping out about getting into the car. This will be my first long car ride on the freeway far from our house. It's been almost a year since I've left the valley we live in. I'm glad at least it will be with B, so I know if I start to freak out and have to throw up he'll pull over. I keep just telling myself all you have to do is get in the car and close your eyes for an hour and a half. LOL But I have a feeling he'll want me to drive, so I can practice for at the end of the month when I have to drive myself to San Diego.
No matter what we're going to make this weekend work and it's going to be nice. I'll be happy even if we just walk around the boat holding hands and talk. I'm easy. I have no big expectations. I think it will just be good to get out of our normal routine. And both of us won't be working, though I know I will be thinking about the show coming up. I'm going to start a doll for that show tomorrow, so hopefully I can get the head sculpt done, so then Sunday night I can start on the batting and sewing the skin and clothes on. I have to also still paint a vinyl toy for the same show. But hopefully that will only take a few hours. They are due on the 16 in San Diego, so I'm hoping to get them done early next week to send them off. I do have a doll finished I can send them with the vinyl toy if I have a total freak out and can't finish the other one soon enough.
B and I leave on Saturday morning to go on our overnight date. I figured going out today was a good test to see if I was going to loose my shit when it came time to leave. I was a little worried come Saturday morning I was going to be flipping out about getting into the car. This will be my first long car ride on the freeway far from our house. It's been almost a year since I've left the valley we live in. I'm glad at least it will be with B, so I know if I start to freak out and have to throw up he'll pull over. I keep just telling myself all you have to do is get in the car and close your eyes for an hour and a half. LOL But I have a feeling he'll want me to drive, so I can practice for at the end of the month when I have to drive myself to San Diego.
No matter what we're going to make this weekend work and it's going to be nice. I'll be happy even if we just walk around the boat holding hands and talk. I'm easy. I have no big expectations. I think it will just be good to get out of our normal routine. And both of us won't be working, though I know I will be thinking about the show coming up. I'm going to start a doll for that show tomorrow, so hopefully I can get the head sculpt done, so then Sunday night I can start on the batting and sewing the skin and clothes on. I have to also still paint a vinyl toy for the same show. But hopefully that will only take a few hours. They are due on the 16 in San Diego, so I'm hoping to get them done early next week to send them off. I do have a doll finished I can send them with the vinyl toy if I have a total freak out and can't finish the other one soon enough.