(no subject)
Is a 2.0 passing?
I've never had to ask that before.
I do believe that I have failed my first ever class.
Does it bother me? Of course. I hate failing. I fail way more than I should....but never at school. I've never failed at learning. Its strange, but it feels like this had to happen sometime-- and I just keep finding myself thankful that this time when I failed, it didnt hurt anyone. Maybe myself a little bit, but its good for me, right? I always thought so. Besides, don't they always say that its not about success, its about trying.
And I did try. I tried the best way i know how to distance myself from the nightmares and the overwhelmingly frightening things that happened this semester and made it difficult to concentrate.
Next semester is a clean slate. My GPA has been built up to be able to ride this one out, so I fell like I should just accept this as one of those experiences that build character. Its just so strange because failing a class used to be one of my greatest fears-next to clowns and beans- but now that i have finally been forced out of my comfort zone, I realize these things arent the end of the world...just little road blocks that I can overcome with relatively little permanent harm/
When I was little I used to think I was a warrior. I used to train in my basement, doing mental exercises like mindsweeper and meditation, and physical things like pushups and jumprope. I was preparing myself for something I felt was dangerous and imminently approaching. I went back and read some of my old writings, the morbidly humerous stories and epic poems about fierce struggling, and the dark, eerie little poems about how twisted the world is-- I think I had it right as a kid...I was training for things I didnt understand but I knew would come; the failures, the tragedies, the unfathomable feeling of heartbreak, and all the other wonderfully human things I get to experience.
Ah life. It can be so annoying sometimes... but its like a baby- no matter how much it gets on my nerves, Im still completely in awe of it and I just want to hold on to it, capture every moment of it, and not let the time I have slip through my fingers.
So now that ive rambled my way into accepting my humanity and mortality within one fun-filled halfhour, I must put myself to bed. Work starts at 11 and i need to work out some aggression before then otherwise ill scare all the customers away again.
I've never had to ask that before.
I do believe that I have failed my first ever class.
Does it bother me? Of course. I hate failing. I fail way more than I should....but never at school. I've never failed at learning. Its strange, but it feels like this had to happen sometime-- and I just keep finding myself thankful that this time when I failed, it didnt hurt anyone. Maybe myself a little bit, but its good for me, right? I always thought so. Besides, don't they always say that its not about success, its about trying.
And I did try. I tried the best way i know how to distance myself from the nightmares and the overwhelmingly frightening things that happened this semester and made it difficult to concentrate.
Next semester is a clean slate. My GPA has been built up to be able to ride this one out, so I fell like I should just accept this as one of those experiences that build character. Its just so strange because failing a class used to be one of my greatest fears-next to clowns and beans- but now that i have finally been forced out of my comfort zone, I realize these things arent the end of the world...just little road blocks that I can overcome with relatively little permanent harm/
When I was little I used to think I was a warrior. I used to train in my basement, doing mental exercises like mindsweeper and meditation, and physical things like pushups and jumprope. I was preparing myself for something I felt was dangerous and imminently approaching. I went back and read some of my old writings, the morbidly humerous stories and epic poems about fierce struggling, and the dark, eerie little poems about how twisted the world is-- I think I had it right as a kid...I was training for things I didnt understand but I knew would come; the failures, the tragedies, the unfathomable feeling of heartbreak, and all the other wonderfully human things I get to experience.
Ah life. It can be so annoying sometimes... but its like a baby- no matter how much it gets on my nerves, Im still completely in awe of it and I just want to hold on to it, capture every moment of it, and not let the time I have slip through my fingers.
So now that ive rambled my way into accepting my humanity and mortality within one fun-filled halfhour, I must put myself to bed. Work starts at 11 and i need to work out some aggression before then otherwise ill scare all the customers away again.