100 Drabbles - My Captain
Title : My Captain
Author : Russian Torque
Team/Pairing : Chicago Blackhawks - Toews/Kane
Words : 716
Overall Rating/Warning : PG-13 - M/M, Angst
With Johnny, everything’s about the team. He doesn’t eat certain foods because they’re bad for his performance and that would bring down the team. He goes to social functions, but doesn’t drink very often because he doesn’t want to lose face in front of the team. He works himself to death every day for the good of the team. He’s always careful around the media because he doesn’t want the team to look bad.
After games, Johnny slides onto Pat’s bed in the hotel room and twists his fingers through Pat’s hair, sometimes trailing them along his jaw or running the pad of his thumb across his lips. And sometimes, Pat takes Johnny’s hand in his own and presses his lips to his captain’s wrist, letting his mouth linger over the soft skin. Their eyes meet and the sheer yearning in Johnny’s eyes makes Pat’s chest throb.
But it never goes further than that.
They lay together, sharing tender, restrained touches until Johnny brushes his lips against Pat’s forehead and goes back to his own bed. His Captain’s Honor keeps him from doing what either of them really want. And Johnny can sit there preaching about how it’s for the good of the team, but Pat can’t help but wonder how this feeling of unwanted can by anywhere close to being good for anyone.
So the next time Johnny crawls into his bed and tangles his finger’s in Pat’s hair, the smaller man arches into the touch, saying wordlessly that he wants more. He needs more. And when that isn’t enough, he pulls Johnny’s hands from his hair and face and slides on top of him, pinning the captain’s wrists to the mattress and pressing their mouths together.
It lasts for all of a heartbeat before Johnny’s turning his face away, his cheeks red with arousal. And shame.
“We can’t do this Pat,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper, “The repercussions would be-”
“Fuck the repercussions,” Pat interrupts, “I want more than this Johnny. I want more than just-”
His throat chokes up and the way his chest tightens makes his heart throb and he can’t say anymore. Instead, he rests his head on Johnny’s shoulder and waits for the other man to speak.
But Johnny doesn’t have the answers. He simply removes himself from Pat’s grip and wraps his arms loosely around the smaller man’s waist. It would be endearing if it wasn’t Johnny’s way of apologizing.
“Say something,” Pat pleads desperately, “Please, say anything.”
“I-” Johnny’s voice catches for a moment, “I can’t give you any more than just this. I’m sorry.”
Pat lets his gaze fall upon the glass door of the hotel room- the one leading out to the balcony. It’s dark, nearly midnight, but cars are still speeding by on faraway streets and the moon is positively huge. For a second, the entire situation seems ridiculous. He and Johnny could do anything right now and the world would just keep on spinning- the sun would keep on rising because everyone has the right to happiness.
That isn’t how Johnny works though. That isn’t how the team works.
So Pat pushes Johnny away and curls on his side, facing away from Johnny and the window. He waits for the words he knows Johnny will never say- ‘I’m sorry, I take it back’ or ‘I was wrong’ or even ‘Can we talk about this?’ and they never come. The only sound in the hotel room is the bed creaking when Johnny stands up, and then the sheets rustling as he gets into his own bed.
There, in the dark, Pat toys with the idea of taking matters into his own hands. He can see himself pulling the sheets off his captain and seducing him, coaxing him into doing something they’ll both regret. But Johnny would hate him for that- for bruising his untainted honor.
He wraps his arms around himself just to stave off the pain he knows his coming and closes his eyes. Neither of them are going to sleep tonight, but Pat takes comfort in knowing that Johnny is just enough of a martyr that his distress will be twofold. Once for his ambivalence and twice for his cowardice.
Author : Russian Torque
Team/Pairing : Chicago Blackhawks - Toews/Kane
Words : 716
Overall Rating/Warning : PG-13 - M/M, Angst
With Johnny, everything’s about the team. He doesn’t eat certain foods because they’re bad for his performance and that would bring down the team. He goes to social functions, but doesn’t drink very often because he doesn’t want to lose face in front of the team. He works himself to death every day for the good of the team. He’s always careful around the media because he doesn’t want the team to look bad.
After games, Johnny slides onto Pat’s bed in the hotel room and twists his fingers through Pat’s hair, sometimes trailing them along his jaw or running the pad of his thumb across his lips. And sometimes, Pat takes Johnny’s hand in his own and presses his lips to his captain’s wrist, letting his mouth linger over the soft skin. Their eyes meet and the sheer yearning in Johnny’s eyes makes Pat’s chest throb.
But it never goes further than that.
They lay together, sharing tender, restrained touches until Johnny brushes his lips against Pat’s forehead and goes back to his own bed. His Captain’s Honor keeps him from doing what either of them really want. And Johnny can sit there preaching about how it’s for the good of the team, but Pat can’t help but wonder how this feeling of unwanted can by anywhere close to being good for anyone.
So the next time Johnny crawls into his bed and tangles his finger’s in Pat’s hair, the smaller man arches into the touch, saying wordlessly that he wants more. He needs more. And when that isn’t enough, he pulls Johnny’s hands from his hair and face and slides on top of him, pinning the captain’s wrists to the mattress and pressing their mouths together.
It lasts for all of a heartbeat before Johnny’s turning his face away, his cheeks red with arousal. And shame.
“We can’t do this Pat,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper, “The repercussions would be-”
“Fuck the repercussions,” Pat interrupts, “I want more than this Johnny. I want more than just-”
His throat chokes up and the way his chest tightens makes his heart throb and he can’t say anymore. Instead, he rests his head on Johnny’s shoulder and waits for the other man to speak.
But Johnny doesn’t have the answers. He simply removes himself from Pat’s grip and wraps his arms loosely around the smaller man’s waist. It would be endearing if it wasn’t Johnny’s way of apologizing.
“Say something,” Pat pleads desperately, “Please, say anything.”
“I-” Johnny’s voice catches for a moment, “I can’t give you any more than just this. I’m sorry.”
Pat lets his gaze fall upon the glass door of the hotel room- the one leading out to the balcony. It’s dark, nearly midnight, but cars are still speeding by on faraway streets and the moon is positively huge. For a second, the entire situation seems ridiculous. He and Johnny could do anything right now and the world would just keep on spinning- the sun would keep on rising because everyone has the right to happiness.
That isn’t how Johnny works though. That isn’t how the team works.
So Pat pushes Johnny away and curls on his side, facing away from Johnny and the window. He waits for the words he knows Johnny will never say- ‘I’m sorry, I take it back’ or ‘I was wrong’ or even ‘Can we talk about this?’ and they never come. The only sound in the hotel room is the bed creaking when Johnny stands up, and then the sheets rustling as he gets into his own bed.
There, in the dark, Pat toys with the idea of taking matters into his own hands. He can see himself pulling the sheets off his captain and seducing him, coaxing him into doing something they’ll both regret. But Johnny would hate him for that- for bruising his untainted honor.
He wraps his arms around himself just to stave off the pain he knows his coming and closes his eyes. Neither of them are going to sleep tonight, but Pat takes comfort in knowing that Johnny is just enough of a martyr that his distress will be twofold. Once for his ambivalence and twice for his cowardice.