[ MMOM ] - How Far I've Fallen
Title : How Far I’ve Fallen
Pairing : Jason Arnott / Sasha Semin
Word Count : ~200
Rating : R
It’s pathetic really.
You wonder how you made it this far without thinking about him because when it boils down to the bare facts, it was only a matter of time. He’s the one that left you, not the other way around. And you can try to convince everyone including yourself that you’re the one that left- you got the trade, the new house, new phone, new everything- but the truth remains.
The one that was cast aside was you, not him.
You don’t want to hate him for it and you end up making excuses for him as a result. You tell yourself- you would have done the same thing in his situation. No one wants to stick around for some kind of mucked up long distance relationship, not someone like him in any case. He was just being defensive, keeping from being hurt, whatever.
And he’s got Alex to hold him over until the next mindless dick comes swinging his way, so it isn’t like he’s all alone.
So really. You don’t hate him. Not even a little.
You do, however, have a deep seething hatred for yourself because seriously, jacking off to whatever pictures of him you can find online while trying to cling to the memory of his body- hot and tight around you- is pathetic. The fact that you have to grit your teeth to keep his name from spilling out is even worse.
Pathetic doesn’t even begin to cut it anymore.
...
[ MMOM Archive ]
Pairing : Jason Arnott / Sasha Semin
Word Count : ~200
Rating : R
It’s pathetic really.
You wonder how you made it this far without thinking about him because when it boils down to the bare facts, it was only a matter of time. He’s the one that left you, not the other way around. And you can try to convince everyone including yourself that you’re the one that left- you got the trade, the new house, new phone, new everything- but the truth remains.
The one that was cast aside was you, not him.
You don’t want to hate him for it and you end up making excuses for him as a result. You tell yourself- you would have done the same thing in his situation. No one wants to stick around for some kind of mucked up long distance relationship, not someone like him in any case. He was just being defensive, keeping from being hurt, whatever.
And he’s got Alex to hold him over until the next mindless dick comes swinging his way, so it isn’t like he’s all alone.
So really. You don’t hate him. Not even a little.
You do, however, have a deep seething hatred for yourself because seriously, jacking off to whatever pictures of him you can find online while trying to cling to the memory of his body- hot and tight around you- is pathetic. The fact that you have to grit your teeth to keep his name from spilling out is even worse.
Pathetic doesn’t even begin to cut it anymore.
...
[ MMOM Archive ]