NEVER the first to LEARN
and i dont want to be the last either.
anyway.
my heart hurts a little right now. ouch.
today i asked mark to hang out. and we did for a few hours. we fed ducks, and ate a little, listened to music, connected freckles, RAN AROUND MR WALLASTONS YARD. is it weird that was a hallmark of my summer? i dont know if thats a word applicable to this situation. if someone like john godfrey reads this you can tell me, otherwise whatever. is it weird i just mentioned john godfrey?
anyway, anyway, mr wallaston died about a year ago, yet his house hasn't been sold, and this morning when i was eating breakfast out by the pool with lori, i heard landscapers. I mean i never really thought about how his yard was being groomed. hes been dead so long. obviously. but it was shocking anyway. he never let us walk on it, or breath near it, or anythign when we were little, he was sooo crabby. so today mark and i jumped all over it, ran around the tree, it was great, like living out a fantasy. but the grass wasn't as springy and soft as i'd imagined it would be, and it sort of hurt. i dont know its kind of disappointing overall. but cool just the same.
then we danced around my yard to soco. kind of. well i was dancing to soco, he was being an imbocile.
he left.
i put up a lame 'if you wanna hang out shout me a holler.' and jill was like 'holler.' and we went to hull to see some kids. and it was sad because someone had died. so we left at ten 30 and now im home. and i dont feel anything but im listening to the streets and they make me want to do so much drugs and waste my life away working at a coffee shop trying to support my illegitimate child. just kidding. but speaking of being poor.
this kid brendon who i met tonight for like the third time-he was in my drivers ed class which really doesnt constitute and actual aquaintence or anythign but thats not my point. ok. he was eating pizza and explaining why he chose 'communications' as a major. and to be honest with you-choosing communications is like the unsure kid's way through college, its a hideously vague feild. probably what i'll do anyhow. and he went on to say he wanted a recording studio, his own label blah blah, and most importantly he didnt want to be rich. and i believe him. i dont know why. for once i dont want to be rich either. i want to be so poor i NEED my crappy little waitressing job to pay my electricity. i just want to be squashed into a tiny apartment with someone I care about too much-so that its hard to breath sometimes. I just figured all that out in like 10 seconds in some crappy hull pizza place. and i felt bad for spacing out after that. because i did.
anyway. i still miss emma. she saw the cadence last night and said she kept on hoping she'd see me, i was actually going to try and find someone to go with me to that. i wish i had. poor kid. i miss her at breakfast alot. we're going to live in cambridge when we grow up. and get run down everyday by bicycles.
this is a long incoherant entry
anyway.
my heart hurts a little right now. ouch.
today i asked mark to hang out. and we did for a few hours. we fed ducks, and ate a little, listened to music, connected freckles, RAN AROUND MR WALLASTONS YARD. is it weird that was a hallmark of my summer? i dont know if thats a word applicable to this situation. if someone like john godfrey reads this you can tell me, otherwise whatever. is it weird i just mentioned john godfrey?
anyway, anyway, mr wallaston died about a year ago, yet his house hasn't been sold, and this morning when i was eating breakfast out by the pool with lori, i heard landscapers. I mean i never really thought about how his yard was being groomed. hes been dead so long. obviously. but it was shocking anyway. he never let us walk on it, or breath near it, or anythign when we were little, he was sooo crabby. so today mark and i jumped all over it, ran around the tree, it was great, like living out a fantasy. but the grass wasn't as springy and soft as i'd imagined it would be, and it sort of hurt. i dont know its kind of disappointing overall. but cool just the same.
then we danced around my yard to soco. kind of. well i was dancing to soco, he was being an imbocile.
he left.
i put up a lame 'if you wanna hang out shout me a holler.' and jill was like 'holler.' and we went to hull to see some kids. and it was sad because someone had died. so we left at ten 30 and now im home. and i dont feel anything but im listening to the streets and they make me want to do so much drugs and waste my life away working at a coffee shop trying to support my illegitimate child. just kidding. but speaking of being poor.
this kid brendon who i met tonight for like the third time-he was in my drivers ed class which really doesnt constitute and actual aquaintence or anythign but thats not my point. ok. he was eating pizza and explaining why he chose 'communications' as a major. and to be honest with you-choosing communications is like the unsure kid's way through college, its a hideously vague feild. probably what i'll do anyhow. and he went on to say he wanted a recording studio, his own label blah blah, and most importantly he didnt want to be rich. and i believe him. i dont know why. for once i dont want to be rich either. i want to be so poor i NEED my crappy little waitressing job to pay my electricity. i just want to be squashed into a tiny apartment with someone I care about too much-so that its hard to breath sometimes. I just figured all that out in like 10 seconds in some crappy hull pizza place. and i felt bad for spacing out after that. because i did.
anyway. i still miss emma. she saw the cadence last night and said she kept on hoping she'd see me, i was actually going to try and find someone to go with me to that. i wish i had. poor kid. i miss her at breakfast alot. we're going to live in cambridge when we grow up. and get run down everyday by bicycles.
this is a long incoherant entry