[Fanfic] Skating on Thin Ice
December 16: Ice Skating (Yup, joining the fun...)
(God, this computer is determined to make me fail; sorry about earlier, if anyone saw that...)
Title: Skating on Thin Ice (I know, so creative…)
Author: Me~ (but I dont own Hetalia)
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Russia, America, Ukraine, Belarus. Russia/America
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Some language (both English and Russian lol), human names, Alfred being stupid/suicidal, and not-so-evil Belarus.
Summary: Alfred gets dragged onto a lake and forced to learn how to ice-skate like a Russian and to not mess with Ivan and his scarf. (It’s a one-shot, I’m sorry + you may learn some Russian while reading ;D )
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“You will come with me, да?” Ivan’s wide grin loomed above him.
“Uhh… I dunno man,” Alfred made a little laugh, “That sounds a bit dangerous, don’t ya think?”
“Dangerous?” Ivan echoed, that smile growing a bit creepier as he tipped his head to the side. “It cannot be more dangerous than spending the night in my country, нет?”
“No way man,” Alfred held up his hands in front of himself, taking a step back. “I’m not a huge fan of thin ice and shit like that, especially--“ A pair of heavy white ice-skates were shoved at his chest, the sharp blades a bit too close to his neck for comfort.
“Не будь лохом,” Ivan grabbed his wrist and pulled--dragged--him outside into the softly falling snow.
“What?” Alfred asked flatly as he struggled against the iron grip. “Was that a fucking insult?” He gritted his teeth, dropped the ice-skates in a pile of snow, and used both hands to try to pry Ivan’s ice-cold fingers from his wrist. “C’mon, leggo…”
“Where are your ice-skates?” The Russian questioned and smiled warmly at Alfred’s pathetic attempts at freedom.
“In the fucking snow!” Alfred yelled and kicked at the pile in which the skates lay. His shoe found the sharp metal edge which proceeded to dig into the top of his foot which then caused the American let out a long train of cusswords that only made Ivan smile wider.
The Russian leaned down and picked the skates out of the snow. He briefly let go of Alfred’s wrist, but before the blond could dart, he wrapped his arm around his waist. “Must I remind you that you promised to go ice-skating with my family and I, a? And it would be the heroic thing to keep your promises,”
Alfred stuck his lip out like an insolent child and muttered under his breath, “Damn commie,”
Ivan gave him one of his cooler smiles and continued on his way, the American in one hand, two pairs of ice-skates in the other.
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“Ну, быстрее нельзя, принцесса Елезовета?” Ivan stood in front of Alfred, his hands on his hips. “Can you not hurry up?”
“Shut up!” Alfred gritted his teeth together and fumbled with the mile-long shoelaces that were already coated in a thick layer of ice from being dropped into the snow. “Dear god, how the hell do you tie these?”
“Ваня, ты идэш?” His older sister called from the frozen-over lake, Natalia holding onto her arm.
“Да, да, сейчас,” He turned back to Alfred then dropped down to his knees and slapped his hands away from the skates, “I will do it for you, since you are such a priss.”
Alfred scowled but silently watched as Ivan’s fingers skillfully threaded the icy shoelaces through the corresponding holes, then tied the laces at the top with a limp bow. The process was then repeated again, but on the next foot, and after both skates were tight enough to cut off blood flow, Ivan pulled him up. Alfred wobbled and grabbed at Ivan’s arm, his finger digging into the rough fabric of his coat. “Fuck! How the hell do you stand in these?! I can’t even bend my ankles!” He complained as he was pulled towards the lake.
“They must be tight, or you will break your ankles,” The Russia answered matter-o-factly and pushed him onto the ice.
“W-wait--!” Alfred managed to cry out before he slid a few feet, then gravity pulled him over and he caught a mouth of snow from atop of the ice.
Ivan laughed and dragged him back up, “Do not tip forward like so,” He lectured then pushed the American forward again. This time Alfred tried to lean further back, but that worked even worse, and at the end his skull collided with the ice so hard that stars shot through his vision.
“Fuck!” Alfred yelled as everything blurred with pain.
“Is he alright?” Yekaterina asked as the three siblings leaned over him.
“Well, he cannot get any stupider,” Ivan mused and pulled Alfred up again.
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“Vanya, Alfred, are you two coming with us for варeники at my house?” Katya smiled and glanced at Natalia. “My house, yes?”
Natalia nodded, but said nothing.
“Oh god, yes! I’m freezing my ass off!” Alfred exclaimed and nearly tipped over, but managed to grab onto Ivan’s sleeve just in time.
Natalia gave him a hard look and mouthed ‘Ты сука’.
Alfred laughed a bit inwardly. “Is she, like, mute or somethin’?”
“Ни, she does not speak English very well,” Katya answered. “Vanya, are you coming also? Or do you have plans with General Winter?”
“Не, Alfred has not learned how to skate well enough yet, we will stay for a few more hours,” A smile was spreading over Ivan’s face, a smile that meant nothing good was to come.
“Aw man, what the hell? I’m freezing--isn’t it time to go somewhere warm?”
Katya ignored him, exchanged a few brief phrases with Ivan in complicated Russia and stepped off the ice. Natalia did the same, but gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving. Ivan watched them trudge away through the snow piles with an absent-minded smile before turning back to Alfred.
“Dammit, I wanna go inside and eat those vare… vareni… well, that Ukrainian stuff--“
“Well, then you have to catch up to me,” Ivan smiled and pushed away from a thin tree stump, about to speed away, but then the ‘dim-witted’ American devised a brilliant, if not suicidal, plan. Before the Russian got out of range, Alfred grabbed the long scarf that was trailing behind him, leaned forward to dig the ridged front of his ice-skates into the ice, and jerked. Ivan’s hand flashed up to his throat, and he slipped and landed with a heavy thud onto his butt. Alfred tried his best to gain enough speed to skate away before the Russian got up and could kill him, but it must not have been fast enough.
Moments later Alfred was shoved into a nearby pile of snow and caught a decent mouthful of it.
He turned over and spat and tried to wipe the stinging, freezing stuff out of his face. ‘I’m in deep shit now--‘ He realized a moment too late as Ivan leaned over him. Alfred closed his eyes and braced himself for the impact of a punch, but instead felt Ivan’s weight and…
The snow melted between their lips and Alfred’s mind went completely blank until he remembered he needed to breathe. Ivan pulled away for just a few inches and his breath tickled Alfred’s face and melted the remaining snowflakes.
“What the HELL?!” Alfred exclaimed and begged his cheeks to not heat up.
“You are so cute when you are angry,” Ivan mused and kissed him again, briefly. Alfred’s face continued to burn, further melting snow that he was laying on, and further soaking his clothes. Fuck that, he couldn’t get any colder.
Ivan breathed into his face again, “I taught you how to skate like a Russian, now you must teach me how to say ‘Я люблю тебя’ in American.”
Alfred laughed and grinned: finally, something he was actually good at. “O-ok, but first you gotta take off the damn ice-skates and take me somewhere WARM.”
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“Не будь лохом,” === (Ne bud lohom) ‘Don’t be a douchebag/idiot/ killjoy’. Just a generic insult.
“… a?” === (…ah?) Kinda like emphasizing a question, like Americans say, “… right?”
“Ну, быстрее нельзя, принцесса Елезовета?” === (Nu, bestriee nelzya) ‘Can’t you go any faster, Princess Elizaveta?’ Lame reference to Tsarina Elizaveta (I’m sorry ;A; ) who was very fancy and wore a different dress every day (literally; I’m not exaggerating) and was all graceful and slow-ish, but a very nice Tsarina (not a single person was sentenced to death during her reign, just as she promised).
"Ваня, ты идэш?” === (Vanya, ti idesh?) ‘Vanya, are you coming?’ (I tried writing it in Ukrainian D: )
“Да, да, сейчас,” === (Da, da, cey-chas) ‘Yes, yes, hold on.’
Варeники === Vareniki; a typical Ukrainian dish--kinda like oversized ravioli filled with just about anything, but usually sauerkraut, mashed potatoes, cabbage, or fruit. Usually eaten with sour cream (omg I love vareniki; my grandma makes them for me every time I/she visits.)
"Ты сука,” === (Ti suka) You bitch.
“Ни,” === (Pronounced like ‘knee’) ‘No’ but in Ukrainian
“Не,” === (Nyet, but w/o the ‘t’) нет (no), but a shortened (slang) version like ‘nah’ in English.
“Я люблю тебя” === (Ya lyublyu tebya) ‘I _____ you’. Fill in the blanks yourself.
Sorry for the lengthy explanations, and thanks for reading~!