03/05/09: Accidental Kleptomania and Other Silly Things
The Russian blogosphere conveniently, if bafflingly, revolves around LJ. Each week, RUSSIA! scans the chatter and brings you the top five topics.
• It all starts with a columnist's atheist wife being asked for "forgiveness of trespasses" on Lent via text message, which isn't taken too well. Bloggers then pile on the Eastern Orthodox Christians in general, who, in their opinion, should keep their discomforting "subculture" to themselves. [Православным запереться в гетто и не отсвечивать!]
• Recession has managed to make at least one Muscovite happy. He sees the crisis breathing life into Moscow - fewer traffic jams and a roomier metro, noisy construction sites frozen and, most pleasingly, neighbors leaving the city. A commenter from Moscow asks, "Are they giving out rose-tinted glasses in your neighborhood or something?" A commenter from outside Moscow fears the author's departing neighbors are on the way to his town. [В Москве свободней дышится.]
• In a psychological experiment gone awry, blogger lavrentij takes up shoplifting as a way to combat his shyness, but gets too good at it. Torn between moral guilt about the cost of all the alcohol, produce, and books he's lifted and his uncontrollable desire to go on, the kleptomaniac begs the LJ community for help. One person suggests he tie colorful ribbons and bells to himself to heighten the thrill. Others suggest quitting stealing. [Быть Вайноной Райдер]
•Blogger evil-ninja decides that too many weird word combinations suffer from not being band names, so the commenters think up some amusing versions: "In Search of Syroezhkin" for club mixes of Young Pioneer anthems; "Sensing Holiday" for a death metal band with a sense of childlike whimsy; and "Pine Dreams," a pop girl band in the coy-slutty vein of "I'm not what you think I am, I'm just waiting for the tram... wink wink." [самые крутые названия групп псто]
•A popular blogger edits Fyodor Bondarchuk's latest sci-fi action flick "The Inhabited Island" into a 1-minute silent-film style youtube video and all his LJ friends show up to praise him as God, even though he stole the idea. Commenters ask to get the clip mp4 as soon as the original film rip finishes downloading. [Премьера!]
• It all starts with a columnist's atheist wife being asked for "forgiveness of trespasses" on Lent via text message, which isn't taken too well. Bloggers then pile on the Eastern Orthodox Christians in general, who, in their opinion, should keep their discomforting "subculture" to themselves. [Православным запереться в гетто и не отсвечивать!]
• Recession has managed to make at least one Muscovite happy. He sees the crisis breathing life into Moscow - fewer traffic jams and a roomier metro, noisy construction sites frozen and, most pleasingly, neighbors leaving the city. A commenter from Moscow asks, "Are they giving out rose-tinted glasses in your neighborhood or something?" A commenter from outside Moscow fears the author's departing neighbors are on the way to his town. [В Москве свободней дышится.]
• In a psychological experiment gone awry, blogger lavrentij takes up shoplifting as a way to combat his shyness, but gets too good at it. Torn between moral guilt about the cost of all the alcohol, produce, and books he's lifted and his uncontrollable desire to go on, the kleptomaniac begs the LJ community for help. One person suggests he tie colorful ribbons and bells to himself to heighten the thrill. Others suggest quitting stealing. [Быть Вайноной Райдер]
•Blogger evil-ninja decides that too many weird word combinations suffer from not being band names, so the commenters think up some amusing versions: "In Search of Syroezhkin" for club mixes of Young Pioneer anthems; "Sensing Holiday" for a death metal band with a sense of childlike whimsy; and "Pine Dreams," a pop girl band in the coy-slutty vein of "I'm not what you think I am, I'm just waiting for the tram... wink wink." [самые крутые названия групп псто]
•A popular blogger edits Fyodor Bondarchuk's latest sci-fi action flick "The Inhabited Island" into a 1-minute silent-film style youtube video and all his LJ friends show up to praise him as God, even though he stole the idea. Commenters ask to get the clip mp4 as soon as the original film rip finishes downloading. [Премьера!]