[ST] What Remains 5/6
The Second Bang
It all happened so quickly. Spock jumped Matthews, Jim made his move for Finnegan, whose fingers were hot on the trigger, and McCoy went right for Joanna. She fell into his arms and relief flooded him for a moment until-
“Joanna?” Jim shouted as he slammed Finnegan into the wall.
“I’m fine, I’m fine.” She froze. Something was wrong.
Jim seemed to sense it too as he turned around to see where the shot landed.
McCoy’s last memory was the sheer look of terror on Joanna’s face and Jim’s shattering scream -
“Bones!” Jim let Finnegan go and rushed to McCoy’s side. He pulled the man into his arms.
Joanna had started, and now wouldn’t stop, screaming.
“Bones! C’mon Bones, you’re fine, you’re fine, you have to be fine.” He kept repeating a litany of words that didn’t really mean anything. They couldn’t mean anything when the person they were meant for couldn’t hear them.
Matthews fell to the ground thanks to a well-placed nerve pinch from Spock. While Uhura pulled out her side arm and shot Finnegan clean in the leg. No one could deny that the bastard had it coming. He stumbled to the ground, too proud to scream as he clutched the open wound. And then for good measure she went over and punched him square in the face. It wouldn’t undo what he did, but it sure felt good.
With the two tech heads neutralized, Spock turned to the screaming child. He hesitated just a moment before reaching out toward her. She might not have been his, but only in blood. Spock had helped to raise her as much as Jim.
“Joanna, please you must calm yourself. Screaming will not help the situation.”
Everything was just a swirl of action around him.
“Chapel!” The doctor knelt down at Jim’s side, already opening her trauma kit. “You have to help him, because he can’t be dead. Not now.”
Chapel swallowed hard and pulled out her tricorder. It didn’t look good, but she wasn’t going to be the one to tell Jim that, not before she knew for sure.
“Alright, I’ll do whatever I can, but you have to let me see.” She had a shit poker face, but Jim was hoping that she was wrong.
Jim pressed his eyes closed. The room was silent now - far too silent as Joanna’s screams turned into muffled whimpers. His mind was racing with things and he tried to focus on his own heartbeat. It was the only sound he wanted to hear. If he was still enough he could pretend that he heard McCoy’s beating in time with his own.
And if not that, maybe it could help him become a stone. Surely, one of the people in his head knew how to do that, but he couldn’t seem to access any of them. This was all Jim Kirk, all the time.
“He’s dead, Jim.” Chapel’s voice wavered, the words not wanting to come out. Maybe later he could appreciate what sort of situation this was for her, but right now he didn’t even believe her.
That couldn’t be right. The equipment was wrong. Except he knew it wasn’t.
He couldn’t hear McCoy’s heartbeat and the shot was clean right through his head. They might have been able to perform a miracle the first time, but there was no way he was coming back from this.
Jim sat there unmoving, not really looking at anyone anymore.
What did he do now?
Taking a breath in, he knew the answer. He would do what he always did - continue on. Just because they were down a man, didn’t mean that the fight was over.
He laid McCoy gingerly back on the ground. Reaching up he closed those hazel eyes and pressed one last kiss to his lips.
“Jim?”
While he heard Chapel, he wasn’t really listening. He just rose back to his feet. “Can you just take care of…” he motioned to the space around them, unable or really unwilling to name any of it.
“Of course.”
He couldn’t look at Chapel. Not anymore - not when she was the ghost of the man lying dead on the floor between them.
“Thanks.”
Jim stepped over the chaos and out of the lab. Uhura would handle the tech heads and hopefully Spock would be able to handle Joanna. All he knew was that he couldn’t do it right then. He needed time to clear his head and find the strength to keep going.
Without really thinking about it, his feet led him back down to the kitchen. On the island the plate with the remains of the tuna fish sandwich. God that had only been a few hours ago.
Sinking down onto the stool he closed his eyes again, trying not to think about anything.
He just wanted to be alone. Only now he would always be alone.
Jim wasn’t sure how long he sat there, willing himself to not think about it, but some time later there was a gentle knock at the door.
“Mind if I join you?”
He wanted to tell her to fuck off, to just leave him here to get wiped back to the beginning with everyone else, but he knew that was just the anger talking. That wouldn’t make it any better.
“I brought you something.”
Uhura tossed the whole collection of data chips on the counter in front of him. That prompted him to turn around and look at her.
“Look, we’re not freak shows, tech heads, or whatever else you want to call us.” Jim moved to stop her. He didn’t want an apology, but she didn’t let him. “But if we are going to rebuild the world, I want to do it as myself.”
Some good that did them now.
“And because Spock won’t let me beat their heads in, I thought that maybe this might be a second best option.” She pulled a hammer off her belt and took a good hard swing at the data chips. If the table took a hit in the crossfire - what was one more casualty?
Jim jumped back, not ready for plastic bits to go flying. He watched her whack at them a few times, seeing some of that rage surface. She might not have loved McCoy like he had, but she did love him and she was hurting too. More so because those were her people on the wrong end of the gun and that made her responsible.
“Hey! You think I can give it a go?” Jim held out his hand for the hammer.
She paused mid swing, hammer high in the air and seemed to collapse all at once, coming back to herself. “I am sorry about - ”
“No,” he said, “you don’t get to be sorry, all you get to do right now is hand me that hammer and step back.”
And Uhura did just that.
Jim took the first swing, watching the little pieces fly across the room. There was something freeing about it. Freeing but still empty because he was just killing the tech and not the man, when this time it was the man who made the choice.
“I can’t believe Spock won’t let you take a hammer to Finnegan’s head, but hey, I’m sure you’ll win some points by destroying the tech.” The words were just flowing now, absolute word vomit with no charm or purpose, but he just needed to get it all out. “Then you get back together and be your happy little family.”
He paused to re-gather the pieces into an easier target.
“I don’t think that’s how things end for us.”
“Why?” He swung again, harder this time, missing the chips altogether. The island split under the pressure and he looked over at Uhura. She better have a damn good reason for that.
“I don’t believe it will work out.”
Jim swung again. “But you love each other.”
“I think that there comes a point where there are just too many differences and obstacles between people to be together.”
Something in Jim exploded at that. In his life the people he loved always left him. They never came back, or they did and he was never able to keep them. He just didn’t have the patience for this.
“But he’s alive and he’s here with your son!” Jim’s fury reignited, the hammer swings going wild. The data chips were in pieces, leaving him to just keep breaking the island over and over again. “And he’s dead.”
Jim hit the edge of the plate, sending it flying across the room. "He’s just dead. And I've never told him.” As the plate crashed into the floor, Jim slumped back against the wall, no longer able to maintain his anger.
Uhura jumped, but otherwise remained unmoving. She had never seen this side of Jim Kirk and she didn’t know what to do with it. How could she even begin to console him?
But then it got worse. It was their last day on Earth and it was also the first time she saw him start to cry. “Len's dead and I'm alone.” Sinking to the floor, he started to shake. “I’m always alone."
Kneeling down in front of him, she hoped that he would be able to get it all out now and be able to pull back together. It might have been selfish but they needed him right now. Jim Kirk had always been the glue that kept them together.
For now, no one else had to know what was happening down in the kitchen. Back up in the lab, the team was working hard.
Better yet, with a project to focus on Chekov normalized a little more. He was almost like his old self. Sure, he would still go off on tangents perhaps a little more out there than usual and in Russian, but he never stopped working.
Sulu would call it one of his better days. Spock had no such standard by which to measure, but was simply pleased to have the actual Pavel Chekov working on the project instead of the version that lived within the India Composite.
“McCoy’s work was prefect, well, nearly perfect, so close but not quite there. I cannot seem to get around one teeny tiny little problem. And knowing the doctor he will not be happy about what it means.” No one had told him that McCoy was dead, which was for the best. A dead body was never a motivational tool for him. “You see, this power source here, it will need to be manually input just before it is triggered.”
“Wait,” said Sulu. He knew his role in the lab was nothing more than a glorified babysitter because for whatever reason he was a calming influence on Chekov, but even he understood what Chekov was saying. Or not saying as the case might be. “You mean…you can’t!”
“Yes, man-friend, see while we can make the whole thing work, save the world, undo what we did and all that, someone will need to be there to set it off and there is no way of knowing what will happen to someone in such close range, like an egg on a frying pan maybe.”
“Chekov!” Sulu shouted a bit too loudly causing the other man to jump. “Pavel,” he said quieter, “you can’t, you’re smarter than that. There has to be another way, another option.”
“It is okay, Hiraku, I will do it. I would not trust anyone else with it.” He looked up at Sulu, actually making eye contact with the older man. “I want to do it.”
Sulu could see it all there. All of the weight of what they were forced to do. None of them had truly had an easy time of it, but he had just been a child when he was brought onto the project. This was going to be his way out.
“You don't have to do it.” Sulu grabbed Chekov’s hands, wanting to comfort him, to give him back everything this place had taken from him. He might have given it freely, but Chekov was never really given that choice, he was just given orders. “And you’re not going to do it alone.”
“Aww man-friend you do care! But it is not necessary. They need you more than they need me. I do not think I am there all of the time, but I am a very good pilot.”
He laughed, he hadn’t meant to, but it was the first emotion Sulu had access to just then. “Maybe as a navigator, but I wouldn’t trust you steering if our lives depended on it.”
Chekov shook his head, pulling his hands free. “Do you not understand, Hikaru? Our lives do depend on it.”
The two men fell silent. Neither would budge. They both had a lifetime worth of demons they wanted to exorcise and someone had to be the big damn hero.
Spock came back over to them. “I am sorry to intrude upon your conversation, however, I wanted to inform you that any and all discussions of sacrifice are unnecessary. I believe that I have a volunteer who will perform the task for us.”
That should have been good news. But Sulu couldn’t deny the disappointment he felt. Sure, it might have been cheating, but for a moment he saw a way out.
“I will just need to confirm with Nyota and Jim. In the meantime, Mr. Sulu, can you please load the device into the shuttle? Mr. Chekov, please oversee the transfer to make sure he does not disrupt any of our work.”
“Aye, sir.”
With the two of them given a more appropriate task to work on, Spock set off in search of Nyota and Jim. He didn’t have to look long as he found them coming from the kitchens together.
“Nyota, Jim, may I have a word?”
They both stopped short like two children caught with their hands in the cookie jar. It was silly because it wasn’t like they had done anything wrong.
“You know, I’m feeling generous, Spock, so have as many words as you like.” Jim might not have found any strength, but he knew that he had the willpower to pull through. At his core, Jim Kirk was a survivor. That and losing it for a few minutes made him feel just a little more volatile.
Spock quirked his brow at the wordplay, but didn’t engage Jim on that level. There were more important things at stake.
“We have encountered a complication with the device.”
“I thought you were sure that it would work?”
“The device is still functional, however, Chekov is certain that it will need to be manually activated.”
“I’ll do it,” said Jim without even thinking.
Uhura couldn’t contain her outburst protesting Jim’s offer, but at least Spock was a bit more composed.
“There is no need, Jim. I believe Finnegan and Matthews were interested in upgrades, I merely suggest that we give them what they asked for.”
“Spock that would be -”
“It is no worse of a fate than you have assigned them yourself.”
Uhura had nothing to say to that. He was right. Better yet, his option was even a little bit more humane. Bashing someone’s head in was messy, giving them what they thought they wanted, even if that did include programming them to will sacrifices - well, it seemed appropriate.
Jim shook his head. “Just Finnegan.”
“But-”
“No buts, just Finnegan. Make sure it happens.” There was no way that Jim was going back in that room again. He was done with this technology. “Give him what he wants.” Jim walked off and this time no one had any intention of following him. Not with what was on the table now.
Uhura turned to Spock. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“As I said it is a logical solution to our current predicament.”
She looked up at him, searching for something. This was the man who had yelled at her, accused her of being seduced by the technology now willingly using it against another person. Uhura had no authority to call him a hypocrite, nor did she think he was one. He was starting to understand.
Maybe, just maybe there would be hope for them yet.
Seeing Jim break down had changed something. Or rather it reminded her of something she had always known - the world was a fragile place and despite how much they tried no one got to live forever.
“Spock?” He looked over at her. “If we survive this, do you think that I can properly meet Grayson?”
She wasn’t sure if she was ready to be a mother, but she was ready try. Really, it was the only challenge she would have left.
“I believe that he would appreciate the chance to get to know you.”
It wasn’t the best time to have this sort of conversation, but it felt necessary before they condemned a man.
“Alright, let’s get this over with then.”
Finnegan was being held in the empty room down the hall from the imprint room. There was no brig to throw him in anymore and this room was closer.
He was slumped against the far wall, bored expression on his face, trying to maintain was little since of agency he still had. “Oh great, you’re finally here to kill me. I thought you were going to make me sit here and wait longer on the off chance that I would repent.”
Uhura just smirked at him. She crossed her arms over her chest not entering the room further, not sure she wouldn’t be able to hit him again. It was a good thing that Spock had far more control than her.
“That is incorrect. We are here to give you the upgrade that you desire.”
It took him a moment to understand what was being said, but he did get it. Finnegan might have been a single-minded tech head, but he wasn’t a complete idiot.
Finnegan lunged for the door, trying to escape, but he was outnumbered and out powered. And that was just against Uhura, with Spock in the mix, he didn’t have a chance. They wrangled him down the hall and into the chair. Sean Finnegan would get the honor of being the last subject to be imprinted in this house.
The unanticipated task delayed their departure for the space dock by only an hour. The twelve piled into the shuttle as ready as any of them would ever be. Every man and woman with the exception of Chekov who was far too jumpy around guns let alone trusted to carry one and Finnegan were armed to the teeth.
“And you’re sure that you can do this without being seen?”
“I’ve been flying shuttles since I was twelve,” said Sulu with any easy smile. Despite all else, this was where he belonged. “I’ve charted a route in the blind spot of the base, the tricky part will be getting a clean lock on the dock without them noticing.”
Jim nodded, perhaps a bit more hands on than his normal style of command, but he needed the distraction. “What are our possibilities on that?”
“We have a fifty-six point three chance of remaining unseen until we disembark the shuttle.”
“Okay, more than half, we’ll have to take those odd.” Jim settled into the co-pilot seat. “Alright, Sulu, hit it.”
It was a tense thirty-minute shuttle ride to spaceport because this whole plan hinged on a small margin of error. And really, getting to the dock was the easy part.
“Alright, when we land it’s going to bad. If they are smart, that place is teeming with MACOs who won’t care about survivors, even if they are us.” Even if they had been more valuable alive once, that was changed now. “Spock will take Riley to the control office from the port side. Sulu and Uhura will come from the starboard - with any luck one of you will reach it disengage the port locks. Rand, you’re with Scotty and Chekov heading right for the ship. Chapel is with Joanna, me and my pal Finnegan over there.”
“Great,” said Joanna rolling her eyes, “I get to sit here and wait for you all to do the fun stuff.”
“That’s right. I know you’re good in a fight, you don’t need to prove yourself there, but I need you back here protecting the most important piece.”
Sure, getting the ship was critical to making sure they escaped in one piece, but launching the shuttle with the device in Finnegan was the main point. Anything beyond that was just bonus.
“Yes, sir.” She gave him a salute that earned her a cheeky smile from him.
“There is going to be a lot of confusion, probably a lot of bodies too and I need you all to stay on task, is that clear?”
At least it was easy to slip into the captain persona and not have to deal with what Jim Kirk was going through. He would see this through until the end.
The crew nodded in agreement and Jim turned his attention to Sulu. “Alright, you’re up first.”
While there might have been some doubt about Sulu’s abilities in other areas, when it came to flying there wasn’t anyone better - not even among the imprints. Still, everyone fell silent as they approached. Perhaps another man would have prayed to god or sought some sort of clarity. Jim Kirk just stared straight ahead, watching their approach.
“We’re in.”
“Nice job, Sulu.” Jim unhooked his harness and moved toward the back of the shuttle. “Now or never time people.”
Jim opened the shuttle’s back doors, his phaser drawn and at the ready. He had been holding it back before, but now that rage that he hadn’t even begun to let out back in the Starfleet kitchens was about to be let loose. Jim Kirk wanted to hurt something and a MACO who may or may not have shot first was fair game.
Jumping out of the shuttle, he took the spaceport at a run. There was no time for hesitation, no space for second chances. It was just lock, shoot, and then move on to the next before they triggered the alarms.
The odds might not have been stacked in their favor, outnumbered 6 to 1, but Jim and his men had something the MACOs didn’t - an actual reason to fight and nothing left to lose. One way or another, today it was going to end.
“Bay is clear,” he said turning back toward the shuttle. The group was still standing there, eyes wide, slack jawed at the man in front of them. Jim supposed he had to be quite the sight, but he was fighting anyway. There wasn’t time for shock - at least not with his crew. “Teams dispatch now!” They jumped then, shaken enough to start moving once more. “Maintain open lines of communication, any element of surprise that we had is over now. Good luck.”
The rest of them stormed out of the shuttle going to their posts.
That left Scotty and Joanna to begin transforming their shuttle from personnel transport to savior. His sole job was to keep any curious MACOs out, while Chapel kept Finnegan occupied.
It was chaos from there, phaser fire, screams of men about to die for real. Maybe it was horrible, but Jim sort of loved it. The adrenaline pumping through his veins, it pushed everything else going on in that too busy head of his to the side. He simply couldn’t think about anything else.
All he saw was whatever walked into his target range and all he felt was nothing. Maybe he wasn’t even Jim Kirk then, but Romeo. It was appropriate. Except he didn’t think that Juliet - and god how Bones would kill him if he knew he thought of him like that - was playing at being dead. Sometimes dead was dead, and McCoy’s body lying in the imprint room was dead. No questions about it.
He didn’t hear his name being called the first time, instead focused on the MACO in front of him collapsing to the ground.
“Jim!” He heard it the second time and went running back to the shuttle bay. Joanna was standing there, not a scratch on her. “We’re finished in here, systems are all online.”
“Great,” he pulled out his spare side arm and handed it to Joanna. “You wanted to prove yourself, now is your time, you think you can manage a clear path to Enterprise?”
“That shouldn’t be too much of a problem.” She smirked, checking to make sure her gun was primed. “Scotty, Chapel, you’re on me.”
Scotty laughed, coming toward the pair. He clapped Jim on the shoulder. “Later we’re going to have words about the fact you put a lass in charge of the team.”
“What can I say? The girl’s a good shot.”
Scotty started off behind Joanna, leaving Chapel standing there in front of him. “You’re not coming with us?” She knew him better than she should be allowed.
“Someone has to make sure that Finnegan doesn’t suddenly evolve before the pulse goes off.”
Chapel’s eyes narrowed. “Fine, but after it clears dock, you better be en route to that ship with us.” She put her hands on his shoulder, so much different than how Scotty touched him just a moment ago. If he closed his eyes, he could almost pretend that she was Bones lecturing him. “I mean it.”
Except that she wasn’t.
“I’m not looking to die just yet, so don’t you worry.” He had come too far to miss the final act now, but once that metaphorical fat lady sung, all bets were off. It probably wasn’t the comforting words she wanted, but those were the only ones she would get. “Go, I’ll see you soon.”
She lingered just a moment too long, but didn’t call him on the lie. Jim was glad when they were gone, he didn’t have to worry about keeping anyone safe. He just needed to stay here and mow down MACOs who thought they could escape.
If this was going to be his last twenty minutes alive, he could only think of a few better ways in which to spend it, but this was definitely top three.
If only Darnell was here. God, how he would like to kill that bastard one last time before condemning her back to the limitations of a single body - if her original body even existed any more.
“The base is ours.” Jim wiped his face, something like relief washing over him. Not that they were done yet. He pulled out his communicator.
“Then we’re going on as planned.” He holstered his weapon. There was more than enough blood on his hands already, but it didn’t feel like it was enough. None of it calmed his anger because none of it brought McCoy back. “Finnegan is prepped, I’ll just need to fire up the launch sequence.”
He didn’t really want to see the man, even if he was in a doll state, but he wasn’t going to let anyone else do this.
“Jim,” said Uhura across the open line, “Are you sure about this?”
Jim almost laughed. Now, she was having second doubts, when they were so close to the end?
“Nyota, I have never been more sure about a thing in my life.” It didn’t matter if that was true or not, it was what she needed to hear. Nyota Uhura might have fashioned herself into a killer because the world demanded it of her, but at her core she was a linguist.
Jim Kirk didn’t have that particular problem. At his core, he was a killer. “The shuttle will be on autopilot and Finnegan here wants to be his best so he won’t let us down, will he?”
“It is important to be your best,” said Finnegan echoing it back.
“See.” Smile evident in his voice, doing his best to be the cocksure person she expected of him. And even if the façade had worn thin, he trusted her to not look too deeply.
“It’s just…” she paused. The silence weighed heavily between them. “After this we’ll never be able to go back there.”
Jim turned his attention toward a nearby view port looking down on Earth. From this distance it looked just sort of peaceful. The distance hid the reality, which wasn’t easy to forget, but sometimes you wanted to so badly you did.
“There hasn’t been anything down there for me in a long time. Everything we need is up here now. Everything you want it on our ship waiting for you.”
Jim was sure she wanted to say something, but nothing she could say that would change his mind or make any of what he said any less true. “Just go, I’ll see our boy off and then be with you in a few minutes.”
“You better be.”
He closed the communicator and turned toward Finnegan waiting by the shuttle. “I guess that just leaves us then.” There was that rage again.
The only thing he could do then was pull back his fist and punch Finnegan hard in the face. He stumbled backward covering his nose. “I think I am hurt.”
It probably wasn’t broken. “You’re fine,” said Jim. It felt good to have Finnegan standing there all doe eyed, blood trickling down his face. It calmed the beast just a little. “Now, you killed someone that I cared a lot about, but you’re going to make that up to me and finish this once and for all. Do you remember what you have to do?”
“I am to put the ball into the container when I am told.”
“That’s right.” He led Finnegan into the shuttle and made sure he was strapped in. “So go, and be your best.”
As he turned to leave, Finnegan grabbed his arm. Jim nearly shot him just then, thinking the worst had happened, but nothing had changed. Finnegan was still in his doll state.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.” Jim pulled himself from Finnegan’s grasp and exited the shuttle. Behind him the shuttle systems powered up. It wouldn’t be long now.
Once the shuttle was clear of the bay, he went back to the window to watch the shuttle move away from the spaceport.
“Jim.” He reached up considering if he should turn off the communicator and just stay here. “Jim, I am aware that you can hear me. It is time that you return to the ship or else we will not be able to get clear of the pulse.”
Jim said nothing. Instead, he pressed his hand to the window. He wanted to stay here, wanted to wipe it all out. The shuttle was in range now.
“See you on the other side.”
That was when the swirling in his stomach started, signaling the familiar pull of the transporter.
Of course, Spock had planned for this possibility.
As he dematerialized from the deck he saw the shuttle explode into a beautiful nebulae rippling through the atmosphere.
The universe began with a bang. It seemed only appropriate that it would end that way as well.
MASTERP POST || PREVIOUS »» NEXT