(no subject)
You set out on life with wide eyes. you have so many dreams and goals and wonders about what will happen as time goes on. somewhere along the lines your view becomes a little jaded. you start making choices, then second guessing those decisions. you have this inner person just screaming to jump out. sometimes it's your cheerleader, other times it's trying to beat some sense into you. As time goes on you start having what if questions pop up. what if i had done this instead of this. what if i would have just let go when i wanted to let go. what if i would have done this or that. made this choice instead of that choice. you search out in your free time what it is you've dreamed about, you see some of those dreams but you realize because of this choice or that choice that dream will never be realized. sometimes your view becomes so blurred that you decide it's better to give up on dreaming at all. you sink into yourself and don't like who you are becoming. you can't scream out because these are the choices you made. this is the path you've driven down and you don't get the choice to turn around. you struggle to change your view, to change your outlook on things. but you see hints of the dream you originally had and try as you may it sticks in your head again. you try to work out these issue with your friends, counselors, significant other, but still you see the dreams you wanted too far off on the other road. you still try to be content and work out these issues as best you can. but sometimes you see hope slipping away and when you've lived your life off of hope then when hope starts ebbing away you start to sink deeper into your self and not wanting to let anything out. you have tried and tried but to no avail, so you just curl up in your shell and let life go on and you put on your mask each day so that nobody can see the real you. maybe one day you will be able to take that mask off. maybe that person you were able to confide all your hopes and dreams with will let you back into their life. maybe, just maybe, you can find a new dream, or that the hope of that original dream didn't actually fade away, it just is on another road but sometime, somewhere in the future, those paths will intersect once more and at that time you will be able to make a new choice. maybe just maybe.