Still struggling
Well, I guess it's official. My depression is back in full-force. I had been denying it for the past few months, just telling myself it's a momentary stumble, but I can't lie anymore. I'm totally miserable and I don't know why.
I'm tired all the time. I made an appointment to get a physical finally, but I doubt they are going to tell me anything I don't already know. I have a lot of trouble sleeping; not falling asleep, but staying asleep. I anticipate Buddy's whines everyday at 6 am on the dot so the slightest sound that comes from his rouses me. I think I don't get into deep sleep very much because I always wake up totally groggy and not the least bit refreshed. I can easily take a couple of naps during the day and not feel any different.
Being tired all the time makes it almost impossible for me to get anything done. I've missed deadlines and flaked on loved ones because I can't get out of bed. I'm losing clients and friends. I'm drowning in my own guilt. Literally, the anxiety makes it hard for me to breath.
I've gained weight and my body feels like it's falling apart. I've fallen so far since 2012 in my heath and fitness goals. I am in a perpetual state of self-loathing but I can't bring myself to make any changes. My self-esteem has plummeted so far that I avoid looking at myself in mirrors.
Jim is still out of work, and I have so little work coming in that I'm wracked with anxiety over money. I love my parents but we are suffocating in this house. There's no room for any of our stuff, and so our room is filled with boxes and no place to unpack. I'm drowning and I just want everything to end so I'm not suffering anymore.
I'm tired all the time. I made an appointment to get a physical finally, but I doubt they are going to tell me anything I don't already know. I have a lot of trouble sleeping; not falling asleep, but staying asleep. I anticipate Buddy's whines everyday at 6 am on the dot so the slightest sound that comes from his rouses me. I think I don't get into deep sleep very much because I always wake up totally groggy and not the least bit refreshed. I can easily take a couple of naps during the day and not feel any different.
Being tired all the time makes it almost impossible for me to get anything done. I've missed deadlines and flaked on loved ones because I can't get out of bed. I'm losing clients and friends. I'm drowning in my own guilt. Literally, the anxiety makes it hard for me to breath.
I've gained weight and my body feels like it's falling apart. I've fallen so far since 2012 in my heath and fitness goals. I am in a perpetual state of self-loathing but I can't bring myself to make any changes. My self-esteem has plummeted so far that I avoid looking at myself in mirrors.
Jim is still out of work, and I have so little work coming in that I'm wracked with anxiety over money. I love my parents but we are suffocating in this house. There's no room for any of our stuff, and so our room is filled with boxes and no place to unpack. I'm drowning and I just want everything to end so I'm not suffering anymore.