what a bad idea.
okay. i am still missing Jordan. and it gets better...now I'm missing Aubrey too. Like mad amounts fo sho. last night the worst idea i've had in a long time is to take out my guitar and belt out a song by Our Lady Peace. steph on my floor came knocking and was like, stop behaving like a seen kid. What the hell is a "seen kid?" I thought about that quietly for a while and then proceeded to continue when I could hear people in the floor above me screaming "shut the fuck up." which i'm sure was directed at me. so i was like "no!" that was a bad idea. then i was finally forced to come out of my room and explain myself. i still don't know what a seen kid is. i really think we're all seen all the time. Steph was like, that sounds terrible, what's coming from your room. to which i was furious since it was not my fault that my guitar strings are moldy since we're in the basement. that is totally not my fault. i do not control mold fo sho. then i proceeded to write a terrible song about how much I miss Jordan and Aubrey. then i started completely flat out crying, yes crying, since i realized that when Jordan and Aubrey are far away I still look for them. Like I actively search like they're playing some trick. and then it occurred to me that if ever they gave up on me i would never give up on them. i would find ways to connect everything i see and hear to them. like everything i do. i think that might be what love is.