When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
sepotong lagu dari Coldplay - Fix You
T______Ta
i dunno what happen but i feel can't concentrate when i think too much
damn it!
why so much hate inside of me?
why so much thought inside my head?
why i must be this angry?
i try every way i feel good at to solve all my problems
but the thing is.. i cannot do it now
i need everyone's smile
everyone's spirit
i feel like i lost somewhere i don't belong to
i feel like..
did i just walk alone for some time?
damn...
i need more..
God damn it i feel much worse than before
i need a hug
i need a kiss
what the fuck is wrong with me?
mau ngelamar kerja, tapi kebutuhan buat bikin ini itu untuk persyaratan kerja kok ya mahal amat...
mana duid ga ada..
terbesit kadang..
kebanyakan dari kisah keluarga orang...
yg mempunyai saudara yg lebih tua
rata2 semua kakak ataupun abang, namanya juga yg lebih besar, semua pasti memikirkan kondisi keuangan adiknya...apakah cukup atau tidak..
kurang apa..perlu apa lagi untuk si adik tersayang ini..
baru sadar aja ternyata semua saudara saia sudah berkeluarga semua...
did one of them even think about my school payment or something?
did they think that my dad is old enough to do the job and pay the school for me?
well, they're much older than me...
di atas saia aja jaraknya 12 tahun..apalagi yg paling tua...
yg saia lihat tak pernah sekalipun mereka menanyakan bagaimana kebutuhan saia..
yg hanya mereka tanyakan selalu gimana kuliah?
gimana penulisan?
kapan tamat?
baru sadar saia...
sepertinya di keluarga saia memang terbiasa dengan sikap cuek
memang mereka semua sudah memiliki keluarga masing masing...tinggal saia yg harus menyusul
tapi setidaknya sebelum semua itu...tak pernahkah sedikitpun kekhawatiran tentang kebutuhan perkuliahan saia?
apakah ini mereka lakukan karena dulu mereka juga begitu?
if it does, then why did every any oldest brother and sister often asked what is the younger sis or bro need for their school? not asked when you're gonna graduate or how's your school day
tidakkah mereka ingin meringankan sedikit saja beban orangtua kami?
saia selalu berat untuk minta jajan tambahan kepada orangtua karena saia melihat sendiri bagaimana ayah saia capek nya bekerja 7 to 5 or 4 atau kadang2 hanya sampai jam 3 karena lelahnya and he's getting older..
SAIA MEMANG IRI
SAIA MEMANG MUNAFIK
SAIA MEMANG SAKIT JIWA JIKA ADA YG BERPENDAPAT SEPERTI ITU SETELAH SAIA MENULIS SEMUA INI
TAPI DI SINI SAIA HANYA MENULISKAN APA YG ADA DI BENAK SAIA
SAIA TAU SAIA HARUS BERUSAHA SENDIRI
MANDIRI
HANYA SETITIK KEKESALAN
TIDAK LEBIH
YANG TERNYATA SANGAT MENGGUNCANG SAIA KETIKA TAU DI LUAR SANA BANYAK SEKALI YG PERHATIAN WITH HIS/HER LIL' BRO
SHIT
I WANNA FORGET THIS
I WANNA GO AROUND THE WORLD
FORGET THE PAIN IN MY ASS
THIS IS JUST THE SMALL DARK SIDE OF MINE