today was christmas
It struck me as it has before, only with less violence, that there would need to be changes. Changes in different forms. First, quit smoking. OK. Second, participate in your community... (I.E.) work with kids, build houses, ultimately kill the devil.
Finally today after over three years in New York I did some volunteer work. Free Arts Day. I went to the bronx on the 1 train. Set up tables and chairs--paints and puppet materials. When the children arrived we got in line and they paired us up. Each "buddy", being the volunteers, would be assigned to two "kids" those being children. When I got to the front of the line I was given care over Aaron and Malik. They were brothers. Malik was older than Aaron. His first question was, "Are we makin' shirts or what?" This guy meant business. "Last time I was here I made a shirt that said BAD BOYS." "Sounds like an awesome shirt." "Yeah. It was awesome." "We're going to make some puppets. How's that sound?" "Pretty good."
First we made glove puppets. Next were stick puppets. Malik's stick puppet started as a space ship but gradually became a gun. This didn't sit well with the "table leader." We made tennis ball puppets too, then ended the day with a magic show. A real magician with shaky hands came and performed for all 100 screaming children. "How is he doin' that?!" "You turned it INSIDE OUT!" "GIMME THOSE CARDS!"
We were to keep the kids calm. Malik leaned over my shoulder and asked, "hey that's pretty cool huh?" "Yeah, it is." As I answered I realized I had made it official. He knew it was cool but it wouldn't be solidified until I said so.
I challenged another kid to a pizza eating contest. He beat me five slices to three. I think Malik may have been jealous that I didn't ask him into the contest. As we sat there eating, next to Aaron was another volunteer girl. She listened in as the boys talked about women.
"I've had... I've had more than three girlfriends." Malik said.
"I've had four." Said Aaron.
"I've had like ten real girlfriends." Malik came back.
"What are you talking about? You're eight! If a girl 'goes out with you' what do you even do?" I asked Malik.
"I don't, we just... I don't know. I don't get nervous when I ask them out."
"Neither do I." Said Aaron.
"Sounds pretty tough." I said.
"Are you gonna ask her out?" Malik asked pointing to the girl next to Aaron.
"Yes. Because I'm in love with her. We'll probably get married." The boys squirmed and giggled. The girl blushed.
They kept asking, "Are you gonna be here next time?" "I'll deffinitely try." "We're gonna miss you." Good God. It's a beautiful thing the way we were made. The way we look up blindly to older people when we're young. The transformation throughout the day was so startling. Only five minutes after "hello" they're listening to your words as prophecy. Telling a story about an alligator swimming under your canoe while camping to a kid in the Bronx is a special moment. It was all very special.
this might be blurry.
As I rode home on the train I looked at this polaroid and felt sad. I thought about their family lives and why they're involved in days like this to begin with. I thought about a man who had asked me for change on my way to the Bronx this morning. He was a child once. Sappy. Sappy damn thoughts... enough to make you sick. I decided I should try to go back next week.
Then as I thought more, and stared at the silver door of the subway train, I absent-mindedly played with my new ball puppet, making it bite my fingers systematically.
It looked like this:
I noticed a girl standing next to me was laughing histerically, trying to stifle her giggling that my private puppet show was causing. I looked down at the puppet and suddenly found it to be funny myself. I began to laugh. Since she was trying to hide her laughing from me I decided to do the same--I turned my head away from her, but awkwardly held my arm out and continued to let the puppet fish nibble on my fingers. She burst out laughing as she exited the train. I went and sat down. For some reason this had seemed like the funniest damned thing that had ever happened. I began to laugh uncontrolably. The somber train rocked to and fro in the usual courteous sadness. But I laughed. I laughed until the tears came. And as I sat laughing and crying on the train with a tennis ball fish puppet in my hand, I thought, today was Christmas.
Finally today after over three years in New York I did some volunteer work. Free Arts Day. I went to the bronx on the 1 train. Set up tables and chairs--paints and puppet materials. When the children arrived we got in line and they paired us up. Each "buddy", being the volunteers, would be assigned to two "kids" those being children. When I got to the front of the line I was given care over Aaron and Malik. They were brothers. Malik was older than Aaron. His first question was, "Are we makin' shirts or what?" This guy meant business. "Last time I was here I made a shirt that said BAD BOYS." "Sounds like an awesome shirt." "Yeah. It was awesome." "We're going to make some puppets. How's that sound?" "Pretty good."
First we made glove puppets. Next were stick puppets. Malik's stick puppet started as a space ship but gradually became a gun. This didn't sit well with the "table leader." We made tennis ball puppets too, then ended the day with a magic show. A real magician with shaky hands came and performed for all 100 screaming children. "How is he doin' that?!" "You turned it INSIDE OUT!" "GIMME THOSE CARDS!"
We were to keep the kids calm. Malik leaned over my shoulder and asked, "hey that's pretty cool huh?" "Yeah, it is." As I answered I realized I had made it official. He knew it was cool but it wouldn't be solidified until I said so.
I challenged another kid to a pizza eating contest. He beat me five slices to three. I think Malik may have been jealous that I didn't ask him into the contest. As we sat there eating, next to Aaron was another volunteer girl. She listened in as the boys talked about women.
"I've had... I've had more than three girlfriends." Malik said.
"I've had four." Said Aaron.
"I've had like ten real girlfriends." Malik came back.
"What are you talking about? You're eight! If a girl 'goes out with you' what do you even do?" I asked Malik.
"I don't, we just... I don't know. I don't get nervous when I ask them out."
"Neither do I." Said Aaron.
"Sounds pretty tough." I said.
"Are you gonna ask her out?" Malik asked pointing to the girl next to Aaron.
"Yes. Because I'm in love with her. We'll probably get married." The boys squirmed and giggled. The girl blushed.
They kept asking, "Are you gonna be here next time?" "I'll deffinitely try." "We're gonna miss you." Good God. It's a beautiful thing the way we were made. The way we look up blindly to older people when we're young. The transformation throughout the day was so startling. Only five minutes after "hello" they're listening to your words as prophecy. Telling a story about an alligator swimming under your canoe while camping to a kid in the Bronx is a special moment. It was all very special.
this might be blurry.
As I rode home on the train I looked at this polaroid and felt sad. I thought about their family lives and why they're involved in days like this to begin with. I thought about a man who had asked me for change on my way to the Bronx this morning. He was a child once. Sappy. Sappy damn thoughts... enough to make you sick. I decided I should try to go back next week.
Then as I thought more, and stared at the silver door of the subway train, I absent-mindedly played with my new ball puppet, making it bite my fingers systematically.
It looked like this:
I noticed a girl standing next to me was laughing histerically, trying to stifle her giggling that my private puppet show was causing. I looked down at the puppet and suddenly found it to be funny myself. I began to laugh. Since she was trying to hide her laughing from me I decided to do the same--I turned my head away from her, but awkwardly held my arm out and continued to let the puppet fish nibble on my fingers. She burst out laughing as she exited the train. I went and sat down. For some reason this had seemed like the funniest damned thing that had ever happened. I began to laugh uncontrolably. The somber train rocked to and fro in the usual courteous sadness. But I laughed. I laughed until the tears came. And as I sat laughing and crying on the train with a tennis ball fish puppet in my hand, I thought, today was Christmas.