baaaad day
BLEH. today = bad.
You know those days where all you wanna do is listen to the most depressing music you can possibly get your hands on, at such a loud volume that it drowns out the rest of the world? And during every class you can’t concentrate, because you’re preoccupied by staring at the wall and just.. thinking?
Well, today was definitely one of those days. I had a whole lot of time to just sit there and think about life, and I basically made the following realization.
Relationships, despite how silly this sounds, are like a piece of paper. You start out on a completely blank one, unobstructed by any wrinkles, tears, etc. It feels “perfect”, and there don’t seem to be any flaws whatsoever. It can be absolutely awesome and exciting, because every single thing that happens is enjoyable, and you can’t help but wonder how long it’s going to stay that way. It’s one of the best feelings in the world.
Unfortunately, that just wouldn’t be life if relationships of any sort could indefinitely remain absolutely perfect. At some point in time, the “paper” is going to get folded, wrinkled, torn, etc., by some sort of event. From there, you can do what you want, fixing it or just abandoning it. Let’s say you try to fix it. No matter how many times you unfold it, unwrinkle it, or tape back it together, there will always be marks from where it got damaged, and you can never change that.
It’s easy to spend a whole lot of time trying to relive the past, or try to take a relationship back to what it “used to be”. The essential move, however, is to ultimately accept that it can never be “perfect” again, and to accept it for what it is and embrace the changes that will inevitably occur. The key is accepting it was what it is, not what it once was. Although it’ll never be “perfect” again, that doesn’t mean it can’t still be great, and it’s certainly not a reason to throw it all away.
On that note, I think when it feels damaged, or imperfect in some way, a lot of people decide to give up and start all over again with another sheet of paper (another person), to relive that initial excitement of having a “perfect” relationship with somebody. Unfortunately for me, I don’t think that way. I use the word “unfortunately”, because I think life would be simpler and more consistently pleasant that way. You’d always be facing new, exciting, relationships that you could always count on to be 100% pleasant. If they weren’t, or if any problem got in the way, you could just get rid of them!
Instead, relationships that slowly fade away are the most emotionally painful, depressing things in the WORLD for me. I couldn’t possibly bear to just say one day, “You know, I think I’m just gonna forget about this one”. Believe me, I’ve tried, and I just can’t do it. I feel like an asshole! I just can’t do it. Maybe I just hate letting go of things, I don’t know what it is. If there’s anything that you can always count on to depress me, though, it’s relationships that disappear. What I end up doing is trying to maintain them no matter what. Still, I obviously fail sometimes. And by sometimes I mean most of the time.
For clarification, I’m not talking about love or anything silly like that; this whole time I’ve been talking about any kind of relationship whatsoever. This has all just been on my mind recently, and I guess I felt inspired to write about it.
I feel much better now.
But I still have this strange, overwhelming desire to just blast out some melancholy music.
Do I really feel better?
You know those days where all you wanna do is listen to the most depressing music you can possibly get your hands on, at such a loud volume that it drowns out the rest of the world? And during every class you can’t concentrate, because you’re preoccupied by staring at the wall and just.. thinking?
Well, today was definitely one of those days. I had a whole lot of time to just sit there and think about life, and I basically made the following realization.
Relationships, despite how silly this sounds, are like a piece of paper. You start out on a completely blank one, unobstructed by any wrinkles, tears, etc. It feels “perfect”, and there don’t seem to be any flaws whatsoever. It can be absolutely awesome and exciting, because every single thing that happens is enjoyable, and you can’t help but wonder how long it’s going to stay that way. It’s one of the best feelings in the world.
Unfortunately, that just wouldn’t be life if relationships of any sort could indefinitely remain absolutely perfect. At some point in time, the “paper” is going to get folded, wrinkled, torn, etc., by some sort of event. From there, you can do what you want, fixing it or just abandoning it. Let’s say you try to fix it. No matter how many times you unfold it, unwrinkle it, or tape back it together, there will always be marks from where it got damaged, and you can never change that.
It’s easy to spend a whole lot of time trying to relive the past, or try to take a relationship back to what it “used to be”. The essential move, however, is to ultimately accept that it can never be “perfect” again, and to accept it for what it is and embrace the changes that will inevitably occur. The key is accepting it was what it is, not what it once was. Although it’ll never be “perfect” again, that doesn’t mean it can’t still be great, and it’s certainly not a reason to throw it all away.
On that note, I think when it feels damaged, or imperfect in some way, a lot of people decide to give up and start all over again with another sheet of paper (another person), to relive that initial excitement of having a “perfect” relationship with somebody. Unfortunately for me, I don’t think that way. I use the word “unfortunately”, because I think life would be simpler and more consistently pleasant that way. You’d always be facing new, exciting, relationships that you could always count on to be 100% pleasant. If they weren’t, or if any problem got in the way, you could just get rid of them!
Instead, relationships that slowly fade away are the most emotionally painful, depressing things in the WORLD for me. I couldn’t possibly bear to just say one day, “You know, I think I’m just gonna forget about this one”. Believe me, I’ve tried, and I just can’t do it. I feel like an asshole! I just can’t do it. Maybe I just hate letting go of things, I don’t know what it is. If there’s anything that you can always count on to depress me, though, it’s relationships that disappear. What I end up doing is trying to maintain them no matter what. Still, I obviously fail sometimes. And by sometimes I mean most of the time.
For clarification, I’m not talking about love or anything silly like that; this whole time I’ve been talking about any kind of relationship whatsoever. This has all just been on my mind recently, and I guess I felt inspired to write about it.
I feel much better now.
But I still have this strange, overwhelming desire to just blast out some melancholy music.
Do I really feel better?