(no subject)
I really hope this lessens the pain at some point. Otherwise, I'm just torturing myself.
Day four: sad, sad, really sad, scared, and unhappy in general. Starting to find out all the little things in my life that used to make me smile that now make me want to curl up in bed and sob. I can no longer smile at Angry Birds, the Hunt for Red October, the Princess Bride, Top Gear, puppies, babies, fuzzy things, winged things, the word dude, text messaging, facebook, my blog, anyone else's blog, pictures, my princess dress, my Grace Kelly dresses, my car, the word focus, "that's what she said" jokes, dancing, Cowtown, most of my memories of summer, my cherry print dress, baseball, my email, my skinny jeans, my underwear, or Greek food. All of those things have been turned into sad buttons, and it is really REALLY hard not to cry all the time.
Well, not really. Last night before bed, I was actually okay, and thinking, I can do this, no sweat. But the moods come and go, and I imagine that will be the case for a while. The weather's starting to chill out just a bit, and while I love autumn, the approach of it always makes me sad for some reason, and it just emphasizes these feelings in me.
Oh, my god, today I am so so heartbroken. It hurts in unexpected ways today, and that scares me. What if I can't ever smile at my memories again? I've had some of the sweetest moments this summer, and now I can hardly think about them without getting all emo.
Today's preferred method of death: something quick that'll get me out of going to work tomorrow, but quickly reversable so I can get to Cowtown tomorrow night
Three things keeping from that fate: dinner, kind supportive words, my mom.
Day four: sad, sad, really sad, scared, and unhappy in general. Starting to find out all the little things in my life that used to make me smile that now make me want to curl up in bed and sob. I can no longer smile at Angry Birds, the Hunt for Red October, the Princess Bride, Top Gear, puppies, babies, fuzzy things, winged things, the word dude, text messaging, facebook, my blog, anyone else's blog, pictures, my princess dress, my Grace Kelly dresses, my car, the word focus, "that's what she said" jokes, dancing, Cowtown, most of my memories of summer, my cherry print dress, baseball, my email, my skinny jeans, my underwear, or Greek food. All of those things have been turned into sad buttons, and it is really REALLY hard not to cry all the time.
Well, not really. Last night before bed, I was actually okay, and thinking, I can do this, no sweat. But the moods come and go, and I imagine that will be the case for a while. The weather's starting to chill out just a bit, and while I love autumn, the approach of it always makes me sad for some reason, and it just emphasizes these feelings in me.
Oh, my god, today I am so so heartbroken. It hurts in unexpected ways today, and that scares me. What if I can't ever smile at my memories again? I've had some of the sweetest moments this summer, and now I can hardly think about them without getting all emo.
Today's preferred method of death: something quick that'll get me out of going to work tomorrow, but quickly reversable so I can get to Cowtown tomorrow night
Three things keeping from that fate: dinner, kind supportive words, my mom.