dear anyone i have hurt in the past

[runs_w_knifes]

The way i felt yesterday reminded me of a line....a line from a great movie.

Let me set the scene for you, Andrew's mom just died...she drowned. No one knows if she did it purposely or if it was a freak accident because she was paralyzed. He's talking to his dad, who is also his shrink, about what he felt was going through his moms mind that night. Here it goes.

The line is "maybe all she wanted was for everything to be alright, for everyone to forget and just move on."

Thats how i felt yesterday

I felt like i wished that everything i had ever done in the past would just float away and be forgotten

That everything would be alright

But its not, i seriously screwed up...

i hurt my parents

i hurt my friends

i hurt my family

i hurt myself

All i want right now is for everything to just end and start over. I want a restart button that would take me back to a time where i hadn't lied and cheated and stole and i hadn't see the depressed state on my parents face that i so frequently see now.

Why

Why did i do this to my family

why did i screw around

why was i so pissed off and unruly that i would do anything to hurt them

why did i wish hatred on them

I don't hate you! I love you both!!!

I am so sorry

Please forgive me

-me