i am a slut.. not.
these days i call up strangers,
i initiate meet ups.
i anxiously hold onto my notepad,
and get led into some certain private space of another person's.
sometimes i'm in a loss for words.
but in the end,
i pull through an hour's session.
parched,
with many thoughts racing through my head.
a little excitement,
a little uncertain.
i'm always threading a thin line,
trying to keep my interviews well within my timeframe,
but not pushing my profiles too much.
i don't want to be a leech
but i can't be too laid back either.
and then multiply that struggle by 3, or maybe 4.
because at any one time,
i have to handle 3 or 4 pending contacts simultaneously.
and feel frustrated all over 3 to 4 times.
i'd rather my contact tell me in my face
yes, no, or i need more discussion in this or i'm uncomfortable with this,
rather than being constantly missing-in-action,
or doing silly things altogether which makes me feel like i'm a crook
with an ulterior motive.
i'm tired.
is there anyone out there
who would reply back to me
without me constantly hounding after them?