(no subject)
Okay, so not much has gone on in the past few weeks.
I've been out of school for about a week now. News to anyone, mono and tonsilits officially blow.
But it hasn't been too bad. Lots and lots of sleep, ice cream, vanilla shakes, meds, and drinking apple juice like it's my job. <3 mm. yum. Plus mister Stephen Gilmore has come to see me a few times <3 which always makes me super happy. Went to the mall with him but had to go home before my mom got home and then Stephen went home to see his brother and Matt for the weekend.
So I got lots and lots of sleep in this weekend, which is what I really need.
Hmm..I can't really think of anything else that's gone on...
I didn't think I'd miss seeing anyone in school, I really didn't. But I've realized that I do miss a couple people. And I probably won't see them for another week and a half or so, or at least until Dr. Oxnard says I can go back. And if I don't need my tonsils out as well.
I also didn't think I'd care about homecoming or anything. I mean, I'd gone to three before this year, they're all the same...school dances...drama..what's new, right? Well, once it came down to it, I realized, this was my last time in high school to go to it, to be part of spirit week, and I couldn't even do that. I guess I started feeling sort of left out knowing everyone was at the dance or assemblies while I was stuck in bed.
I also feel really bad for Stephen Gilmore. With so much work. It seems like all at once, people keep leaving for one reason or another and leaving everyone else there screwed and stuck with a million trillion hours. I'm just sort of worried, I guess, that maybe it'll be too much. I wish I could help out somehow but I know I'm in no position to, plus I'm not 18, so I couldn't. lol.
I don't like being sick. I know, I probably sound like I'm complaining so much right now. But I don't care. I don't even feel sick anymore, after taking prednizone. And I'm back to eating normally now that my throats not swollen anymore. But I'm still not allowed to even go to Stephen's house or even just walk around Portsmouth or anything. It might "hurt my spleen" rawr. I've been getting so much sleep now, and it's like, when I'm moving around I'm completely fine and I have all this energy, but as soon as I sit or lay down, I feel like I just completely shut down. Like my body just doesn't want to move anymore. I just feel like... 'sigh...okay, this is comfortable, I never have to move again' and end up sleeping even more, which I didn't think was possible. Ha. I just can't wait until my mom actually lets me go out again...Even just for dinner or something special with Stephen. <3 But since I guess Bill said Stephen could have next weekend off from work, hopefully my mommy will let me do something special with him!!!! I'm excited. :]
So yeah..I've sort of been thinking lately that I miss a couple friendships, or what I thought were "friendships" at the time, that I used to have...but then when I look back on things, I realize how much happier I am now than I had been before. I just feel like everything has fallen into place exactly how they should be, and I would never want to change anything that I have right now, or ask for anything more than I've been blessed with. Before I met Stephen, I always felt like I was missing out on something..Not as in a relationship or anything...Just, having someone to be close to, to know me for who I actually am, and to just know that there was somebody who did care about me, who wanted to spend time with me, whether it was a friend or boyfriend or anything. I never felt completely happy. But now, after 6 months of being with the most amazing human being I've ever known in my life, I've learned so much about myself. I have so much more confidence than I thought I had before. I'm so much more comfortable with myself and with people around me and my surroundings. I feel like I've changed for the better having someone so amazing in my life. I just see everything in such a different way. I know that everything happens for a reason, and Stephen Gilmore was meant to be a part of my life. <3 Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people who only feel complete because they have a boyfriend or girlfriend, that's not what I'm saying at all. I've just come to learn so much about this world, this life, people, that I never imagined one person could show me.
Stephen Gilmore, you mean so much to me. You've shown me the world through a new pair of eyes, and I could never ask for anything more special out of life. You've given me so much, shown me so much love; more love than I knew two people could have. You are truly an amazing person, such a huge part of this world and my life. This world definitely deserves more people in this world like you, babe. Perfectly beautiful, inside and out. <3
xo.