distant kin and suffocation
so yesterday i got back from my family reunion in spring valley (a town of about 300 people where my mom was born). it was fun, yet interesting. most the people there are distant relatives whom i havent seen in about 15 years or havent ever seen at all for that matter. it was fun talking to all of them, but it got a little tiresome at the same time. i got to see my aunt and uncle who i havent seen since christmas even though they only live a mere 3 hours away...she doesnt make time for family, its been a problem in our family for years. there was a good amount of gossip which kinda surprised me but it was a good laugh and harmless. i saw my great aunt who never fails to have a cigarette in her hand and i just now realized shes a super chain smoker which isnt good but the part that really pissed me off was that she was smoking around her grandchildren and giving them second hand smoke, but theres not much i can do about it. on the way down to the reunion my dad and i toured st. olaf and gustavus. i like st. olaf but i gustavus got higher marks in my eyes. i really really like gustavus and would love to go there. the atmosphere was awesome and really inviting and the campus is absolutely beautiful and the trees have grown back since the tornado that hit there aobut 8 years ago when my sister was there. i have yet to tour more colleges and i'm getting extremely excited to go to college next year...i almost wish i was starting college this year but i know that i cant rush through my teenage years.nonetheless, i cant wait to be on my own.
cc started today and that was painful yet refreshing at the same time. i havent been on a good run in awhile and it felt good to get a longer run in yet the whole time i was very close to throwing up my breakfast, yucky-not a good feeling.
even though i've lost a good friend i realize now that i've gained new friends and strengthend my relationships with other friends. yes it hurts when u lose a friend as they walk out the door but its not too long before someone else opens a window and walks into ur life. but still i am going to miss all my senior friends as they go away to college, their absences will be most noticable at cc and skiing practices-it will be hard without them but i'm happy for them that they are off to college and on their own.
i dont know why but right now i'm in one of those moods of sadness that seems to have no way out. they set upon me at the most random of times and thats when i feel like theres no way out. i feel like i'm being compressed smaller and smaller and it takes the greatest of efforts just to crack a smile. its one of the worst feelings in the world when u feel like ur suffocating from ur own misery.
summer is slowly coming to an end-it has been one of the best summers of my life but i'm sort of excited to start up school again for a change and to get back into a routine schedule. i dont think its quite hit yet that i'm a senior but i'm sure it will when we have our first assembly and they'll say "SENIORS! HOW YOU DOIN?" lol.
i know this is a loooong and pointless entry-sorry to have boreded (is that a word?) u.
cc started today and that was painful yet refreshing at the same time. i havent been on a good run in awhile and it felt good to get a longer run in yet the whole time i was very close to throwing up my breakfast, yucky-not a good feeling.
even though i've lost a good friend i realize now that i've gained new friends and strengthend my relationships with other friends. yes it hurts when u lose a friend as they walk out the door but its not too long before someone else opens a window and walks into ur life. but still i am going to miss all my senior friends as they go away to college, their absences will be most noticable at cc and skiing practices-it will be hard without them but i'm happy for them that they are off to college and on their own.
i dont know why but right now i'm in one of those moods of sadness that seems to have no way out. they set upon me at the most random of times and thats when i feel like theres no way out. i feel like i'm being compressed smaller and smaller and it takes the greatest of efforts just to crack a smile. its one of the worst feelings in the world when u feel like ur suffocating from ur own misery.
summer is slowly coming to an end-it has been one of the best summers of my life but i'm sort of excited to start up school again for a change and to get back into a routine schedule. i dont think its quite hit yet that i'm a senior but i'm sure it will when we have our first assembly and they'll say "SENIORS! HOW YOU DOIN?" lol.
i know this is a loooong and pointless entry-sorry to have boreded (is that a word?) u.