I'll always be the king of pain
Experience has taught me that I just wasn't built to be happy in the way that most people are. Experience ha also taught me that the way most people are happy is flimsy, plastic, and fake. Being with Michelle has opened up my eyes to a lot of things. She makes me feel clean again and everytime I see her face this cardboard world around me falls away and all there is is feeling. Love is a pure experience like running, or any other. All thought, all worry falls away and all there is is instinct and emotion. Don't get me wrong; I'm still a miserable fuck, hate everything about the society in which I live, and, if left to my own devices I would withdraw completely from it and let the empty headed hollow-eyed fools continue apace flushing their fake selves down the toilet.I'd be fine with that. But she opens up an entirely different side of me, one that's been stunted by parasites, sychophants, and abusive bastards. She frees me of all of this. I can be the man I was supposed to be, maybe meant to be, with her, instead of what I've become while slogging through this life. And that is why she is so important and so completely special to me. That is why I love her. Yeah, I'll always be the king of pain, and I will spew my venom filled poetry and seditous philosophy at the world as long as I'm living; I can direct looks of death and pure contempt at the hollows that seem to populate the greater amherst area, but as soon as she's in my arms it all fades and I am above it again. I don't know what'll happen in the future because the future is just a figment of the imagination. It doesn't exist anywhere and it never will. I'm just going to keep going.
~D
~D