years
wow it has been over a month since I have updated this thing or even really looked at it for that matter. I am back in NY now I have been her 2 weeks and 3 days! And well I am already going to go back to Portland because I hate it here and I cant find a job and there's not shit to do. I'm pretty sure I am flying back to Portland July 8th and moving in to the Alaska House for a month til I can find a house to move into with Danielle, Tanya and Kat. Its soo hard to go home to look at the way life used to be, how much has changed, how much I have changed. I don't know how to pack it all up or if I even can. What do I chose to take what do I chose to leave? Because this time it's for good. 3000 miles for good. Adulthood for good. Life for good. Knowing that once I leave I won't be back til Christmas and after that probably not til the next Christmas wow scary. Where did the years go? I remember being a freshmen in high school and watching my brother graduate thinking I had all the time in the world til that was me. I've seen different people I went to high school with it's weird they're strangers to me. maybe because I left school early so I didn't finish with them, maybe because I am different. I don't think people can ever really understand this town until they leave. I don't think they can understand the narrow mindedness, the uptight conservative belt that squeezes this town to death, so many kids never left and I see the ignorance and prejudice in their eyes and it saddens me. Silver spoons iced to their tongues, if they only knew the world outside, diversity. It's scary. On another note to whom may agree or disagree it's not really like your opinion matters because its not your decision! A good friend of mine is having an abortion tomorrow, and it's weird, I just never thought she would get pregnant, neither did she, Always use birth control kids because condoms break. Her boyfriend came to stay with her for the week, it's been odd hanging out with her for the last week, when she found out she was pregnant the first time going to the clinic, watching her cry. Tomorrow is going to be difficult she'll probably be really out of it. I'm driving them. People's lives change so much in one year, I can't get over it. Well its 2 am so I'm going to call it a night. I forgot how much I liked this thing.