Adventures in driving!
So I figured I should document where I'm at right now.
As some of you probably know, I have a HUGE driving phobia. I've used it as an excuse to avoid driving for years now. Over the corse of the last year I made the decision to overcome that fear. In truth it's been an inevitability, but the idea of being able to hop up to northern California to see Anna whenever I had time seemed too good to pass up. Plus I'm going to have to drive to get to practicum sites next year and beyond.
Anyways, back in June I made the decision to get my motorcycle license and buy a small scooter to get around town. It was a long process and involved to rounds of stressful motorcycle classes (as well at $1250), but in the end I got it. As of two weeks ago I had my motorcycle permit (soon to be license) and a cute little Yamaha scooter (looks like a Vespa). It's been a nerve-wracking experience... just driving the thing down to the two blocks to school in back was stressful. But I stuck with it, and slowly tried to increase my distance from home and level of stress.
A week ago yesterday I decided to take the next step... the grocery store. I'd have to go down a major street, change lanes, and make an unprotected left into a busy parking lot.
... and that's about as far as I got. I made a mistake coming into the parking lot, and long story short, fell with the bike and skid with it for about 5 feet. I was only going about 10 mph, so it wasn't too bad a crash, but I must have put my foot out, cause it got caught under the scooter. As a result I fractured my left tibia (the weightbearing bone in your leg). The good news is, I don't need surgery to fix it. The bad news is I'm in a cast for about 6 weeks.
So yeah, I'm crutching about the apartment as best I can. For the most part friends are giving me rides when I need them. And I'm my ussual stubborn self, not asking for help unless I absolutely need it. In all honesty, my main concern is that right now I can't walk... which is a huge deal for me. I've always walked everywhere, and for a long time now I've used that and my running to help deal with my depression when it spikes. Now that's not an option.
I've been doing well so far. Many of my friends have even commented on how uncharacteristically positive I've been about the whole thing. But I can't remember the last time I went 2 months without a depressive spike... especially while single. Tonight I was sitting around oggling Anna's Halloween photos, and it just brought to the surface those feelings of loneliness I've had. And the sad feelings of distance I've felt from here for a long time now.
I'm half-tempted to plan a trip up there in the next 3 weeks, or if not to visit her, then the Bay Area in general. I know I've got a few old friends that I'd love to see, or would like to see me. I could also use a vacation. I'm falling into a nice routine here, but the weeks are all starting to feel the same to me. And I'm seeing my motivation fall. Unfortunately, thanks to this accident I don't imagine I'll have any money to eat with for the rest of the quarter... let alone vacation on.
I guess in the end, I'm just having another bad night. And I need to get back to studying... Hope you all are doing well!
As some of you probably know, I have a HUGE driving phobia. I've used it as an excuse to avoid driving for years now. Over the corse of the last year I made the decision to overcome that fear. In truth it's been an inevitability, but the idea of being able to hop up to northern California to see Anna whenever I had time seemed too good to pass up. Plus I'm going to have to drive to get to practicum sites next year and beyond.
Anyways, back in June I made the decision to get my motorcycle license and buy a small scooter to get around town. It was a long process and involved to rounds of stressful motorcycle classes (as well at $1250), but in the end I got it. As of two weeks ago I had my motorcycle permit (soon to be license) and a cute little Yamaha scooter (looks like a Vespa). It's been a nerve-wracking experience... just driving the thing down to the two blocks to school in back was stressful. But I stuck with it, and slowly tried to increase my distance from home and level of stress.
A week ago yesterday I decided to take the next step... the grocery store. I'd have to go down a major street, change lanes, and make an unprotected left into a busy parking lot.
... and that's about as far as I got. I made a mistake coming into the parking lot, and long story short, fell with the bike and skid with it for about 5 feet. I was only going about 10 mph, so it wasn't too bad a crash, but I must have put my foot out, cause it got caught under the scooter. As a result I fractured my left tibia (the weightbearing bone in your leg). The good news is, I don't need surgery to fix it. The bad news is I'm in a cast for about 6 weeks.
So yeah, I'm crutching about the apartment as best I can. For the most part friends are giving me rides when I need them. And I'm my ussual stubborn self, not asking for help unless I absolutely need it. In all honesty, my main concern is that right now I can't walk... which is a huge deal for me. I've always walked everywhere, and for a long time now I've used that and my running to help deal with my depression when it spikes. Now that's not an option.
I've been doing well so far. Many of my friends have even commented on how uncharacteristically positive I've been about the whole thing. But I can't remember the last time I went 2 months without a depressive spike... especially while single. Tonight I was sitting around oggling Anna's Halloween photos, and it just brought to the surface those feelings of loneliness I've had. And the sad feelings of distance I've felt from here for a long time now.
I'm half-tempted to plan a trip up there in the next 3 weeks, or if not to visit her, then the Bay Area in general. I know I've got a few old friends that I'd love to see, or would like to see me. I could also use a vacation. I'm falling into a nice routine here, but the weeks are all starting to feel the same to me. And I'm seeing my motivation fall. Unfortunately, thanks to this accident I don't imagine I'll have any money to eat with for the rest of the quarter... let alone vacation on.
I guess in the end, I'm just having another bad night. And I need to get back to studying... Hope you all are doing well!