I'm Going To Post This Here As Well Because Most Of My Friends Are LiveJournalers
Explanations - Of Sorts
So here we go, this feels weird writing as it is probably the most direct thing I will write in this journal. Also, I am interrupting writing my short story to do this so part of me really really really wants to start writing about a homeless man. haha, don't ask.
To say the very least this semester I have not been myself. It started off fine but things came about that caused the train I wanted to be on to completely derail. For quite awhile I did not tell anyone at all. This was done for a number of reasons. To protect those involved, and at the same time to protect those that weren't involved (this is the main piece) .i.e. not force others to worry about what was going on. I have talked to different people to different extents but I feel that I should provide a blanket explanation, or at the very least adress this, because, as always happens when you try to do things alone there are inevitable misunderstandings that arise between the people that are a part of the situation and the people that aren't..
To everyone in my suite: I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner. I certainly did not mean for the suite to become affected as well. I'm also sorry for the endless succession of all-nighters that I pulled and, though I know I rarely woke anyone up, I know you guys were worried about me and I'm sorry for causing that.
To everyone in Hepburn/Gifford: I'm sorry that I was not able to hang out with you guys more. This is an extremely important point and one that I want to be clear. Please do not think for even an instant that the reason I was unable to visit was because of schoolwork (I know that is what I "said" it was) or because I lacked the inclination or did not set aside time to. Pleasde, please trust me when I say that I would never allow something as trite and meaningless as academics to be prioritized above my relationships. I actually can't explain that enoguh because it is something so inherently a part of who I am I would porbably need to talk to you in person to even begin tro communicate the degree I want to.
I realize I have talked to some of you more than others in this group so, to those who I have not talked to I will say this: to ask you to understand without the information would be unfair of me, but if I could ask you to trust me that throughout the entire semester if I had been able to come to Gifford or Hepburn I would have. There was absolutely no way for me to do this. None at all. I would have loved to. Everyone in both suites is absolutely incredible and I certainly look forward to spending time with you guys over Jterm, Spring Semester...AND BEYOND!
To all my highschool friends: I'm sorry that I have not talked to many of you about this and I'm sorry that for the past few months entries have ambiguously dodged around topics. My aim was not meant to cause any of you undue worry, it was merely a place to vent my thoughts.
To anyone that I have gotten angry at with or without reason: I don't usually get angry, and if I do its usually controlled. Though I don't like to make excuses I would attrtibute my behavior to the situation. I really cant say more than that, really just that I am sorry.
To anyone who is struggling with anything at all, no matter how small or how large: I am here for you.
Yeah, so I guess that's what it comes down to: I'm sorry. And I realize I don't need to apologize and the whole situation is extremely ironic since the reason I didn't tell anyone was so they wouldn't have to deal with it.
I hope people have not lost respect for me, but more than that I hope that this can be understood and taken as it should. I have never been in a situation like this before and I cannot tell you all how thankful I am for each and every one of you.
Alright, I think I'll get back to that story now.
Its certainly been an interesting semester.
So here we go, this feels weird writing as it is probably the most direct thing I will write in this journal. Also, I am interrupting writing my short story to do this so part of me really really really wants to start writing about a homeless man. haha, don't ask.
To say the very least this semester I have not been myself. It started off fine but things came about that caused the train I wanted to be on to completely derail. For quite awhile I did not tell anyone at all. This was done for a number of reasons. To protect those involved, and at the same time to protect those that weren't involved (this is the main piece) .i.e. not force others to worry about what was going on. I have talked to different people to different extents but I feel that I should provide a blanket explanation, or at the very least adress this, because, as always happens when you try to do things alone there are inevitable misunderstandings that arise between the people that are a part of the situation and the people that aren't..
To everyone in my suite: I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner. I certainly did not mean for the suite to become affected as well. I'm also sorry for the endless succession of all-nighters that I pulled and, though I know I rarely woke anyone up, I know you guys were worried about me and I'm sorry for causing that.
To everyone in Hepburn/Gifford: I'm sorry that I was not able to hang out with you guys more. This is an extremely important point and one that I want to be clear. Please do not think for even an instant that the reason I was unable to visit was because of schoolwork (I know that is what I "said" it was) or because I lacked the inclination or did not set aside time to. Pleasde, please trust me when I say that I would never allow something as trite and meaningless as academics to be prioritized above my relationships. I actually can't explain that enoguh because it is something so inherently a part of who I am I would porbably need to talk to you in person to even begin tro communicate the degree I want to.
I realize I have talked to some of you more than others in this group so, to those who I have not talked to I will say this: to ask you to understand without the information would be unfair of me, but if I could ask you to trust me that throughout the entire semester if I had been able to come to Gifford or Hepburn I would have. There was absolutely no way for me to do this. None at all. I would have loved to. Everyone in both suites is absolutely incredible and I certainly look forward to spending time with you guys over Jterm, Spring Semester...AND BEYOND!
To all my highschool friends: I'm sorry that I have not talked to many of you about this and I'm sorry that for the past few months entries have ambiguously dodged around topics. My aim was not meant to cause any of you undue worry, it was merely a place to vent my thoughts.
To anyone that I have gotten angry at with or without reason: I don't usually get angry, and if I do its usually controlled. Though I don't like to make excuses I would attrtibute my behavior to the situation. I really cant say more than that, really just that I am sorry.
To anyone who is struggling with anything at all, no matter how small or how large: I am here for you.
Yeah, so I guess that's what it comes down to: I'm sorry. And I realize I don't need to apologize and the whole situation is extremely ironic since the reason I didn't tell anyone was so they wouldn't have to deal with it.
I hope people have not lost respect for me, but more than that I hope that this can be understood and taken as it should. I have never been in a situation like this before and I cannot tell you all how thankful I am for each and every one of you.
Alright, I think I'll get back to that story now.
Its certainly been an interesting semester.