Decisions, decisions...
anonymous
March 12 2008, 12:26:58 UTC
You can't love too much if love is all we need. Perhaps the other is too possessive of the already acquired intimate love, unwilling to redirect that love into a form of friendship that you desire as compromise. He has the safety of already having you, whereas the other can't stand to hold back and hide what he believes in his heart to be right...
Time heals everything. It also hurts. But it isn't your choice when/how the other individuals interpret and take it in as truth, or even what they believe is right or wrong for that matter. That decision is up to them. Your decision should be what you believe would bring out the more positive attributes in you. Like what you think would be longer lasting (if that's what you're interested in) and healthier for a potential loving relationship (which you SHOULD be interested in - my opinion, but it is a logical goal in life - to experience the true power of love).
Don't think that you yourself are "ruining" a friendship. Maybe you're making their friendship stronger. Maybe you're bringing out their weaknesses in each other. As someone who knows them both quite well, no girl, no matter how close you are to either of them, can tear them completely apart. I can almost guarantee they will let you go before they throw away years of friendship they've created and shared deeply.
This isn't the first time something like this has happened. It may be a little deeper this time around, but they've had plenty of quarrels in the past that were soon extinguished and resolved over time and cooperative conversation. But that doesn't mean go about your decision in just any way. Talk to both of them honestly, from the heart, about what your true feelings are and if one/both of them is/are unwilling to at least consider your point of view as legit and justifiable, then they obviously care more about their wants and needs more so than yours when they should care equally for both sides and attempt some form of reasoning within the situation. That goes for you as well. Imagine how they must feel about all this. You'll probably never truly know their exact feelings, but I think you're smart enough to predict the major effects this will have/is having on both of them. Evidently none of you are enjoying this at all right now, and the more you are unsure of what you should do, the more pressure they're consciously, or even subconsciously, going to pile onto you.
Chances are, the one who isn't with you now will be the first to give up. Josh has his priorities and limitations pretty much set. There are exceptions, but he hates drama, and he will not fight a war that is no longer worth fighting if he feels he's fighting alone. As far as Mak, his whole defense is up in an attempt to hold on to something he thought was anchored to him. But, at the same time, he will most likely wonder constantly of what will become of you two if you do choose to stay. Because let's face it, Josh has been, is, and always will be in your mind and most certainly in your heart, and time keeps making it more and more obvious....
I don't know exactly what's going on between you all, nor do I expect you to totally take the advice of an anonymous comment, but at least take these words into consideration. Ponder over them for a bit. There is much truth in what I say, and I'm confident you'll agree with at least a few of my points to an extent. Good luck and keep your head up. Be selfish a bit. It's ok. You think about what YOU would be most happy with. Then all you can do is your best to be civil about it. Don't worry about hurting someone if you truly believe your choice is right. Sure they may think their mortally wounded at first, but the truth heals much better than a lie. And living a lie with yourself is the most painful.
Well, I think I've typed enough. Sorry it's a little lengthy. I got a bit bored and started reading, and there's nothing else to do. So anyway, Be happy! Life is great! :-D
Time heals everything. It also hurts. But it isn't your choice when/how the other individuals interpret and take it in as truth, or even what they believe is right or wrong for that matter. That decision is up to them. Your decision should be what you believe would bring out the more positive attributes in you. Like what you think would be longer lasting (if that's what you're interested in) and healthier for a potential loving relationship (which you SHOULD be interested in - my opinion, but it is a logical goal in life - to experience the true power of love).
Don't think that you yourself are "ruining" a friendship. Maybe you're making their friendship stronger. Maybe you're bringing out their weaknesses in each other. As someone who knows them both quite well, no girl, no matter how close you are to either of them, can tear them completely apart. I can almost guarantee they will let you go before they throw away years of friendship they've created and shared deeply.
This isn't the first time something like this has happened. It may be a little deeper this time around, but they've had plenty of quarrels in the past that were soon extinguished and resolved over time and cooperative conversation. But that doesn't mean go about your decision in just any way. Talk to both of them honestly, from the heart, about what your true feelings are and if one/both of them is/are unwilling to at least consider your point of view as legit and justifiable, then they obviously care more about their wants and needs more so than yours when they should care equally for both sides and attempt some form of reasoning within the situation. That goes for you as well. Imagine how they must feel about all this. You'll probably never truly know their exact feelings, but I think you're smart enough to predict the major effects this will have/is having on both of them. Evidently none of you are enjoying this at all right now, and the more you are unsure of what you should do, the more pressure they're consciously, or even subconsciously, going to pile onto you.
Chances are, the one who isn't with you now will be the first to give up. Josh has his priorities and limitations pretty much set. There are exceptions, but he hates drama, and he will not fight a war that is no longer worth fighting if he feels he's fighting alone. As far as Mak, his whole defense is up in an attempt to hold on to something he thought was anchored to him. But, at the same time, he will most likely wonder constantly of what will become of you two if you do choose to stay. Because let's face it, Josh has been, is, and always will be in your mind and most certainly in your heart, and time keeps making it more and more obvious....
I don't know exactly what's going on between you all, nor do I expect you to totally take the advice of an anonymous comment, but at least take these words into consideration. Ponder over them for a bit. There is much truth in what I say, and I'm confident you'll agree with at least a few of my points to an extent. Good luck and keep your head up. Be selfish a bit. It's ok. You think about what YOU would be most happy with. Then all you can do is your best to be civil about it. Don't worry about hurting someone if you truly believe your choice is right. Sure they may think their mortally wounded at first, but the truth heals much better than a lie. And living a lie with yourself is the most painful.
Well, I think I've typed enough. Sorry it's a little lengthy. I got a bit bored and started reading, and there's nothing else to do. So anyway, Be happy! Life is great! :-D
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