summer 05

[runnindilwhack]

what is there to say about this summer? i wish i had a time machine because i would've done things a lot different. a lot of people want summer to go on for a long time but i just wish i could go back with all of my experience and go for a second run. first of all i wouldve spent my first weeks of summer hanging out with more of the people who i really like. all of the great guys who went off to college. (its a school night ill name you off later but you know who you are). germany. it was the chance of a lifetime that i blew being mad at my self centered host. if i wouldve been more of a tool (sean calls it being polite) i am sure that i would have had a much better time. despite the hardships i had over there, i still can't stop talking about that stupid trip. there was soo much to do over there and i have a story relating to everything. i met some of the most wonderful people ever and i didnt take advantage of it because i complained about my host far too much. i also said a terrible thing that i didnt mean at all. it was that i regretted spending the money going there. the message was relayed to my host mother (most fun ever) and it hurt her feelings because she spent a lot of time and money on me. i am still feeling the prick of my conscience for that one. when i got back i surrendered my days to cross country. i will never have another summer break for as long as i live. my mother is making me go to occ for the summer from now on. it is not good. i am breathing my last breaths as a free man. the next time i get to feel this feeling of no commitment is when i am 65 years old. i am 17 right now. that is a long ass time if you ask me. i didnt have the summer romance, i didnt make money with the summer job, and i didnt live the summer as the non conformist that has an awesome time. pretty crappy if you ask me. it was a life lesson i guess. as we get older we get slower, even though we have less life to live and more to get done. the freedom of these summers for the past 17 years of my life have taught me to appreciate the good things in life because before you know it they could slip away from you.
im out
scott