What am I doing?
I just emailed this guy I have been seeing for about a 6 weeks and told him I can't do it anymore because I'm still in love with my ex. It's no surprise really, I have been in love with him for 5 years. I just thought I was ready to move on. I kind of hoped I was ready because it's been so hard to want someone and know they don't want you or they are not sure they don't want you. It's an evil game of the heart. It sucks. I know I'm not the first to go through this, but I just needed to get it out. This guy I just dumped is great, he has been so good to me, but almost too good, it's almost annoying. Sometimes I feel like he thinks I can't do anything for myself. Jesus fucking christ I just ran 42 miles this weekend with a 10 pound backpack strapped to my back, I can do whatever I set my mind to!! I know he means well and he is just trying to show his affection for me, but fuck, I can make my own coffee and spread peanut butter on my bagel dammit. AND, shit he is waaaaaaaaay too into sex than I am. Don't get me wrong I enjoy it and I'm no prude, but a girl needs a break and time to heal. I certainly don't want callouses down there. Plus he really isn't all that good. On the other hand get me with my ex and it's heaven. Maybe it's because I love him. I've never been the one to fuck just to fuck.
Okay, enough of that rant. It's Sunday night, I did some laundry, took a nap, drank a couple of beers and now I think I'm going to get myself comfy on the couch to read.
Okay, enough of that rant. It's Sunday night, I did some laundry, took a nap, drank a couple of beers and now I think I'm going to get myself comfy on the couch to read.