(no subject)
So much to update about since my last entry. So much has happened in so little time. In the past year, everything I've known as solid ground has melted away, and the feet that once traveled well-worn trails struggled to maintain grip on new paths.
I got married...!
A surreal, magical experience which I'm still recovering from. Not in a bad way, mind you. It's hard to explain. When I stood up there, it felt as if I was at someone else's wedding. It was so hard to believe that it was really happening. But I was ecstatic anyway. And nervous, of course. But that didn't affect it from being the happiest day of my life.
I love being married, and especially to the amazing person who just recently changed her last name to mine. But aside from that, I'm actually kind of miserable. It has nothing to do with her or our getting hitched; she's probably the only thing keeping my sanity. I'm just no longer enjoying myself down here. I miss my friends in NY, and I guess I miss the old days as well.
I went out with a couple of friends the other night and it was simultaneously both amazing and horrible; amazing because it was the first time I've been out in a long time, and horrible because it made me realize just how much I actually gave up by leaving NY. As minor as what we did that night was, the experience of it still hit me like a mack truck. Since February, all I've been doing is "dealing" with this major adjustment so we could get married and finally elevate our relationship to where it needed to be. But now that it's there, I've reached a plateau.
Steve is no longer living with me, and having him here kept me somewhat sane because he gave me my daily dosage of "home" when I needed it. He also satiated my need for that dumb "guy" bullshit that we love so much. Maybe you don't know what I mean, but him and my friends back home do. I also got transferred out of my store in Coral Springs, which is good because I no longer have to drive an hour to work every day (and back), but is bad because I have an entirely new store full of kids to deal with... and these kids did NOT like having a new manager. If I wrote out the full story of what kind of kindergarten bullshit went down this week, you'd be rolling on the floor laughing. But I have neither the time or energy to fully illustrate it all.
Long story short, I'm not happy.
I'm happy with my absolutely amazing wife and our amazing, storybook relationship, and our cute little apartment, and our awesome cat and new kitten... but that's about it.
I miss my friends, and my home =(
I'm sorry.