oh wow

[runfastwglurass]

oh wow!! i have not updated for months..i was just going through and checking out the wonderful world of livejournal..i dont come here often anymore..i guess its pretty much in the past..u know...so here i am at college..despite the fact i was scared if i would survive...if i would make friends...or even do well...i'm not doing too bad..even though the semesters half over..i'm just starting to make friends..but i think its good for me...i mean the friendships that take time to make are the important ones...my grades arent too bad either..like 2 A's 2 B's and a D..(psych is really kicking my butt..but its getting better :) ) so i'm not doing too bad. ummm its really hard sometimes with the whole eating disorder thing..but i'm getting better. i did almost quit treatment..but i'm not going to. its just hard getting used toa changing body one u've been afraid of so long..i feel like if i toned up i would feel a lot better about eating..so i'm going to start doing abs...sometime this week. oh guess what for those of you who know me and actually is going to read this(if anyone) i actually have skipped classes..lol i'm supposed to be in one right now..but its okay...its not like i'm failing and i'm ahead in a couple of my classes. the worlds been treating me well..for the most part..i have no money well i'm at school cuz there are no campus jobs..but who needs money any way..it just makes ppl not themselves...oh yea...i joined pcf (parkside christian fellowship) i havent realized until recently that i have stepped way back from god because i have lost faith in him..but the girls there are a huge help...they care sooo much for me..i dont think i've ever had a friend care for me like these girls do...and come to find out..i'm not the only "goody goody" on the planet either...through pcf i have met other people who have not done drugs or have gone drinking..its so nice and comforting to know that i'm not some freak..they dont pressure anyone into anything...and they truelly are a blessing to me...its soo sad its their 4th year for some..but i'm still happy i met them and now i know i'm not alone in the world...but anyway..i should be going now..me and jamie(my awesome roommate we get along soo well its awesome we havent fought about anything...we're both really shy too so it was good we had each other the 1st couple weeks) are going to go shoot hoops and hopefully ppl will show up to play cuz horse gets boring after the first 15 mins. oh yea..its soo weird...i never thought i was well..never mind..no body needs to know about anything else...i must say though being here as made me even more responsible..( i never thought i could get anymore responsible and i dunno i can't put a finger on it) my self esteem needs more work...but lately ppl have been talkign to me in classes..i'm really starting to feel like i fit in here...not quite but i'm getting there...oh weekends here terribly boring!!! oh i'm soo excited anna is coming to town for thanksgiving and me and her are going to hang out!!! :) :) and melinda is supposed to be coming into town this saturday :) i'm soo happy ... well take care...
~Becky~
"God never give me anything i can't handle. i just wish he didnt trust me so much" Mother Theresa