[DC] You can check out any time you like
Title: You can check out any time you like
Characters: Bruce
Rating: PG
Summary: Something has changed in Gotham; Bruce doesn't know what. Reboot!fic.
Notes: Title is obviously from Hotel California, because there are obvious songs and then there are songs that are made for a specific fandom.
Protecting the city has become... difficult, over the past few months. It's never been an easy job, but it's become worse lately. When he casts for a word, “unpredictable” comes to mind. But Gotham has always been unpredictable. “Changing”; “missing”. And always, “worse”.
Bruce likes to pride himself on knowing Gotham. He knows her in his bones and his blood; in his lungs, in the way the air out of Gotham always cuts before it can fill his lungs; in the shadows gargoyles spread even at night, bizarre shapes on the walls and the tar that he's always surprised to find lacking elsewhere; in his dreams and his soul and his gut. He knows better than anyone that to her Batman is a puppet dancing on her strings, and goddammit Bruce Wayne may not reside within the city walls and ride the subway like the people he feels kin to, but he knows when something's wrong with her.
And for a little while now, there's been something. He can't quite pinpoint it. He keeps tripping over the feeling that there's something he's missing; some crucial piece of evidence that's been stolen. He knows the impression; the missing link in any investigation that keeps the story from taking shape. Nothing as clear as a cut; the narrative blurs, distorts. It dissolves into something that makes Damian frown like it's personally offended him. For a crime, Bruce knows he only needs to keep looking, and keep an open mind; switch perspectives, maybe. Look for paths he's missed.
Here, with the city, it's...
The difference is that Batman is part of the city. Whatever is affecting Gotham is most likely affecting him, too.
Gotham's a moody city, but he's always been able to read her moods. Now it's like she's skipping steps. Playing hopscotch with her.. whatever. He feels like he's grasping at straws. Water streaming through his hands.
There must be a point where things went wrong. Or more likely, Kal would correct him, where things shifted. But Bruce is a detective first and foremost, someone whose idea of protecting people means criminals and people getting hurt. At one point, things made sense, and now they don't quite manage to; things went wrong.
It's infuriating, and it's scary.
It's a childish word, but Bruce doesn't mind owning up to that fact. He is a child of Gotham. And he's afraid that he might be unable to read her moods anymore. It's a thought that freezes the air in his lungs, until he physically forces himself to push it out. What good could a Batman do if he didn't know Gotham. What good would he be if he wasn't good at the city anymore.
But it's not a fear that can be helped by letting it slow him down. He'll just have to do with it, as he does with the knowledge that what he does isn't enough and that crimes still happen every minute of every day; he'll just have to keep on trying. If she were here, Batgirl would point out that this problem at least he can hope to solve; not so with crime. But that's never stopped him before, she might say with a raised eyebrow, pointed as only Barbara and Alfred can be.
It's just a question of missing pieces. Strands of past being erased and tugged out of Gotham, out of his mind, warping it out its true shape.
When Bruce closes his fists, he can imagine his hands are cupping around the heart of the city, pounding to the beat of his heart. He hopes he hasn't already let it slip between his fingers.
Characters: Bruce
Rating: PG
Summary: Something has changed in Gotham; Bruce doesn't know what. Reboot!fic.
Notes: Title is obviously from Hotel California, because there are obvious songs and then there are songs that are made for a specific fandom.
Protecting the city has become... difficult, over the past few months. It's never been an easy job, but it's become worse lately. When he casts for a word, “unpredictable” comes to mind. But Gotham has always been unpredictable. “Changing”; “missing”. And always, “worse”.
Bruce likes to pride himself on knowing Gotham. He knows her in his bones and his blood; in his lungs, in the way the air out of Gotham always cuts before it can fill his lungs; in the shadows gargoyles spread even at night, bizarre shapes on the walls and the tar that he's always surprised to find lacking elsewhere; in his dreams and his soul and his gut. He knows better than anyone that to her Batman is a puppet dancing on her strings, and goddammit Bruce Wayne may not reside within the city walls and ride the subway like the people he feels kin to, but he knows when something's wrong with her.
And for a little while now, there's been something. He can't quite pinpoint it. He keeps tripping over the feeling that there's something he's missing; some crucial piece of evidence that's been stolen. He knows the impression; the missing link in any investigation that keeps the story from taking shape. Nothing as clear as a cut; the narrative blurs, distorts. It dissolves into something that makes Damian frown like it's personally offended him. For a crime, Bruce knows he only needs to keep looking, and keep an open mind; switch perspectives, maybe. Look for paths he's missed.
Here, with the city, it's...
The difference is that Batman is part of the city. Whatever is affecting Gotham is most likely affecting him, too.
Gotham's a moody city, but he's always been able to read her moods. Now it's like she's skipping steps. Playing hopscotch with her.. whatever. He feels like he's grasping at straws. Water streaming through his hands.
There must be a point where things went wrong. Or more likely, Kal would correct him, where things shifted. But Bruce is a detective first and foremost, someone whose idea of protecting people means criminals and people getting hurt. At one point, things made sense, and now they don't quite manage to; things went wrong.
It's infuriating, and it's scary.
It's a childish word, but Bruce doesn't mind owning up to that fact. He is a child of Gotham. And he's afraid that he might be unable to read her moods anymore. It's a thought that freezes the air in his lungs, until he physically forces himself to push it out. What good could a Batman do if he didn't know Gotham. What good would he be if he wasn't good at the city anymore.
But it's not a fear that can be helped by letting it slow him down. He'll just have to do with it, as he does with the knowledge that what he does isn't enough and that crimes still happen every minute of every day; he'll just have to keep on trying. If she were here, Batgirl would point out that this problem at least he can hope to solve; not so with crime. But that's never stopped him before, she might say with a raised eyebrow, pointed as only Barbara and Alfred can be.
It's just a question of missing pieces. Strands of past being erased and tugged out of Gotham, out of his mind, warping it out its true shape.
When Bruce closes his fists, he can imagine his hands are cupping around the heart of the city, pounding to the beat of his heart. He hopes he hasn't already let it slip between his fingers.