[DVD commentary] Leader - theme set smut - theme 17
Sorry for the delay, everyone. Here's the DVD commentary for the Leader theme of my NejiHina Theme Set Smut, as requested by rougesweet16.
I can’t really remember how I got the idea for this theme. I know I had decided it could refer to Hinata, Neji, Naruto, or Hiashi. But I was afraid of doing too much of the same thing with Hinata - pretty much all of my fics assume that she’s the Head. As for Hiashi, I already had a theme where Hinata and Neji were disrespecting his authority, unposted as of yet, I know I know. So I had both Neji and Naruto be the respective Leaders of the groups they were interested in.
This theme was also written considerably later than a number of the others (I don’t write them in order), so I was already pretty burned out on the straighter PWP approach (hahahaha, as if I ever can write such a thing as a straight PWP) and I needed a motivation to write this.
There are, as usual, several fics that inspired me to write this: hiasobi's Theme Sets, particularly here, and sintari's The Eyes I Thought Were You.
17. Leader
Lying to Naruto has always been difficult, Neji acknowledges, because Naruto’s eyes did see clearer than anyone else, except for things that concerned primarily him.
You all know how I hate writing first sentences, right? By the way, re-reading that, the tenses are awkward.
He’s like Hinata in that respect; he’s never caught up on the fact Hinata loved him, though Neji never knew if it was because he wasn’t interested in her that way or for some other reason. Neji sometimes regrets he doesn’t know, as understanding Naruto is a sure key toward understanding Hinata.
The similarity between Naruto and Hinata has been noted in canon - though admittedly by Sakura and Lee, and Naruto taking an interest in Hinata would've served both their agendas.
But it's still true, especially with regards to Neji. Both his important fights are with them. In some respects (the fate-vs-change) they're in the same place compared to him. Besides, in both fights he goes out of his role. It's more obvious when he loses it against Hinata, but he does tell his life's story to Naruto in the middle of the arena. Not exactly a 100 percent proof of complete control.
But now Naruto stands as Nanadaime, the Kyuubi’s abilities since long assimilated, lying to him has become near impossible. Neji doubts anyone but Kakashi dares trying it nowadays, and the only reason Kakashi does is because he doesn’t care if Naruto believes him.
...I THINK I never worked out who’d been Rokudaime. The reason I mention Kakashi was because I didn’t want the reader to think Kakashi-as-Rokudaime had been killed.
I wanted Naruto to be not-Rokudaime, because it means that becoming Hokage was an even longer and more arduous process than you'd think. I never get into these past difficulties, but this sentence means that they exist all the same; to me, that sort of unexplained details is what makes up the verisimilitude of a world. It's never just about the main characters, and it's never as clear cut as you would imagine; everyone is the main character of their own story, and everyone leads a complicated life.
When Naruto looks up from his desk as Neji enters the Hokage’s office, Neji refuses to start at Naruto’s focused expression, the way his eyes are boring into him, even though Neji has showered, twice, before coming here.
He’s not late. Neji is never late. He’s had to upset his schedule that morning so he’d be able to get away from the Hyuuga compound early enough that he wouldn’t be late for a meeting with the Hokage; he’d had to count into it the showers, too. He shouldn’t have needed the showers, especially if he’s right about the reason why Naruto told him they’d be talking, but he couldn’t help it.
Naruto hasn’t listened to a word his ANBU captain told him since Neji entered the office, he’s willing to bet; not that it matters anyway, because ANBU don’t go talking of the village’s private affairs in front of Clan Heads, and thus the captain has seamlessly gone into made-up territory and will keep up the pretence until the story, prepared beforehand, has reached its end, or the Hokage interrupts her. Neji knows, more clearly than what other Clan Heads suspect; he used to be in ANBU himself, once.
The ANBU captain was always going to be Ino. I also love playing with things like internal politics, and the tensions between clans/ANBU seemed interesting. For Neji to know how things worked meant that he had to have been in ANBU himself (that worked out with the fanon of ANBU!Neji). The recent chapters have shown that clans/ANBU tensions are very canon, what with ANBU not being about clans at all but being entirely the village’s, and I’m glad this paragraph hasn’t been Jossed.
Naruto apparently changes his mind about his tactics halfway through the captain’s cover story.
I’m probably writing/reading too much into it, but to me it was a hint of Naruto’s unpredictability, or something.
“Yeah, I’ll see you later, okay?” he cuts her in the middle of a sentence, without taking his eyes away from Neji.
Kishimoto has made Naruto a drama-queen master of theatrics and that’s not the sort of thing I ever let go. Eye-contact is even more important between Naruto and Neji than it would be between practically any other characters, due to the Byakugan and due to the fact that Neji thinks Naruto has the better ‘eyesight’ in the village. That’s also the reason why I referred to that line of Neji’s above.
‘Later.’ The Hokage’s schedule is desperately full; something pretty important must have come up, for the ANBU captain to come over and for Naruto to let the discussion encroach onto his meeting with Neji. His teammates will be delighted, Neji thinks sardonically.
I wanted to refer to Sasuke and Sakura here, because I didn’t want the reader to think everything had gone to hell. (There had already been the mention of Nanadaime, possibly implying that someone had died.)
He ignores Ino as she walks past him and out of the office, she does the same. The only person Neji enjoys meeting even less than Ino is Sasuke; this is saying something.
I’m not entirely sure where this comes from, except that I think it’d be hilarious in a venomous, vicious way. (Bitchy-girly.) You are welcome to imagine how easy Naruto’s life can potentially be with those three strongly disliking one another.
Neji and Ino have never got on well since he left ANBU. He doesn’t get on much better with Kiba, for similar reasons, but Kiba doesn’t seem to resent him quite as much as Ino, and most of Neji’s disapproval of Kiba hinges on the fact that Neji is not at all convinced Kiba is the person who can make his youngest cousin happy, if the frequent rows between Hanabi and him are anything to judge by.
I’m rather proud of this justification of the Neji-Ino antipathy. The KibaHanabi slipped in without being invited, btw, but it’s a crackship I find very very cute, so I wasn’t exactly protesting. I like putting Kiba in ANBU for the same reason I like making Ino the ANBU captain: it’s not fanon’s primary choice of a career for them, as if they were somehow less competent than Neji, Shikamaru, or Shino. (Though Kiba makes it more often than Ino.) What’s up with that? Is it because they’re not stoic and stone-faced? Since when is that a requirement to make ANBU?
Neji wonders vaguely what it is with Hyuuga and ANBU, but his attention is drawn again to Naruto. The Hokage is going to go home later than usual tonight if he sees Ino again, and his teammates never take that lightly. What Naruto wants to tell him must be pretty important in his eyes for him to not put the meeting back.
I like the idea of Sasuke and Sakura being >( when Naruto lets work eat away resting time. It probably involves some sort of silent treatment, though I wouldn't guarantee it. And of course it's NaruSasuSaku being cute and threesomey.
And whatever it is, Neji knows it concerns him personally. The Hyuuga clan hasn’t needed the Hokage to intervene in its affairs for a while now, and if this was just some minor business - a genin giving up too early on ever becoming a chuunin, a widowed parent who should be put on desk duty to protect the rest of the family - Naruto would have been the one going to the Hyuuga compound to see Neji. He has done so in the past.
I love giving examples of how leaders are concerned with the people under their responsibility. Often I give examples that involve only one or two persons, both because it’s how it is in canon (see Sandaime talking to Iruka by his parents’ grave) and because it’s the best way to imply there isn’t anything major troubling the village at the time.
It was important for the atmosphere of the fic that it’s not a time of trouble; it’s a peaceful, happy life (that’s why I mention NaruSasuSaku and KibaHanabi, and if you know me you know I think bickering couples are strong stuff), and Neji doesn’t have his happiness. The very peacefulness of it implies that it’s unlikely anything will change or break out of the mould. Only drama could make Hinata change her way of seeing Neji - and for the record, I don’t want to kill Hanabi.
“You wished to see me, Hokage-sama,” Neji intones silkily.
Naruto looks at him warningly. “Don’t give me that bullshit,” he advises, “and sit down, you’re tiring me out.”
Of course, the moment Neji wordlessly takes the chair in front of the desk - he could have purposely misunderstood Naruto and instead chosen one of the sofa lining the wall, but he guesses it’s better not antagonise him right from the beginning - Naruto stands up and walks to the other side of the desk.
Neji = passive-aggressive.
I had fun making Naruto be >O about it. I also had a lot of fun depicting Naruto as mature and grown-up, not biting Neji's passive-aggressive bait. You know he's had a lot of practise.
He goes and stands squarely in front of Neji, crosses his arms, and states, “You went to see a whore this morning.”
Dun dun dun.
It’s not a question.
Again, Neji acknowledges that since Naruto assimilated Kyuubi’s abilities, hiding anything like that from him is almost impossible; he certainly hasn’t succeeded. Neji has washed twice since then, including his hair, with two different-smelling sort of soaps. Even an Inuzuka wouldn’t be able to pick up on the lingering scent of sex.
I take up again the mention that he showered twice, and this time I explain.
“Well, that’s alright, because that’s just what I wanted to talk to you about.”
Score one for Hyuuga perspicacity, but Neji doesn’t suppose the meeting will go much the same way. His defence is dismally thin.
He stares stonily at Naruto, refusing to give him even an inch. Everyone who ever came to face Naruto learnt at their cost that it never stops there. Neji was among the first to be taught that lesson, and he has never allowed himself to forget it.
“And if I did?”
Naruto leans against his desk and pouts.
“You can’t do that.”
Naruto isn’t playing by the rules; he’s not giving arguments or reasons. He’s being childish. I don't think it contradicts what I said earlier about him being more mature. It's only his superficial behaviour that's childish, not his reasons for it.
Neji doesn’t say that he obviously can; that he in fact just did and is likely to do so again whenever he feels like it. For one, Naruto, when pushed enough, is not so proud that he will not resort to abusing his power. For another, Neji doesn’t feel up to dealing with several minutes of Naruto flailing and shouting strangled exclamations until he gets back under control.
‘not so proud that he will not resort to...’ I wonder if I couldn’t have written this sentence in a way that avoided the double-negative, but I wanted the ‘not so proud’. This discussion is all about pride for Neji, and he doesn’t get - or doesn’t want to get - that to Naruto it’s one of his friends hurting. It’s a given in canon that Naruto thinks he knows better than his friends and is perfectly willing to go against their wishes.
To be fair to Neji, it’s mostly because I don’t think I can retain any measure of seriousness when writing a flailing Naruto that I have Neji avoid provoking him. But I at least wanted to mention it.
“Are you going to tell me it’s not good politics?”
He can’t entirely keep the sneer off his voice. Maybe because it’s a remark he has made to himself time and time again; the Head of the Hyuuga doesn’t go visit whores. He just doesn’t. He takes a lover and, if his tastes run that way, he leaves his wife alone once she has popped out the requisite heir. Then again, this is only applicable if the Head of the Hyuuga has a wife.
You know, the reason I spend so long writing about things being/not being ‘good politics’ is because I really think like that in RL. Granted, this applies mostly to history, but, yeah. I'm concerned about things like 'proper conduct' in real life. Especially when it means my candidate losing votes. :(
It isn’t good politics either that Neji isn’t married; and he doesn’t have a lover for the same reason that he doesn’t have a wife. Whores, at least, have no claim on him, and Neji is discreet.
He tries not to think about the risk of blackmail.
That’s me taking care of plot holes by going ‘see, I know it exists’. Thus it becomes Neji's fault for not being careful or thorough enough instead of mine.
Instead of bristling like anyone normal, Naruto just blinks.
My instant reaction had been to think ‘okay, now there’s bristling’, but I decided against it, partly because I wasn’t sure how to go on from there and partly for characterisation reasons: Naruto, after all, is 'unpredictable'.
“What? No!” He grins feebly. “You’re usually the one calling me on that shit. And, hey, we’ve had that discussion enough that you should know I don’t give a damn about that thing, right?”
Neji is much more conventional than Naruto. No matter which way you look at it, he’s about the furthest from a rebel you can get while also disagreeing with the rules. Neji as the ‘good-politics’ conscience of Naruto was sold to me by Hiasobi’s theme sets, particularly THIS - 48 Proper Conduct.
Neji would like to keep this on the subject of good politics. As Naruto pointed out, it would give him uncontested higher ground. Or it would, if Naruto’s bad politics weren’t an unconventional relationship most of the village doesn’t know what to make of and thus ignores, and Neji’s wasn’t anti-relationship related.
I wanted to say that Neji isn’t much better than Naruto on that topic, not sure how clearly it comes across. I like mentioning NaruSasuSaku and how the village ignores it. ^__^
“Look, Neji, you need to stop.”
There’s no trace of a smile on Naruto’s face now. Neji doesn’t like the sympathy he can read in the Hokage’s eyes - his friend’s eyes. He doesn’t like that Naruto knows.
He’s on the defensive now. It isn’t the first time Naruto tried to talk to him about it, but never before has he had that expression in his eyes.
I needed a reason why this discussion would be different from the others, otherwise I wasn’t sure about how to write it.
There's no exterior reason why Naruto is different today, just that Naruto feels that too much is too much.
Bitterly, Neji reflects that he’d never have imagined he’d see the day Naruto advised someone on giving up. Then again, once, Neji would never have imagined Uchiha Sasuke could make his peace about being forcibly back in Konoha, or that Kiba would come over to the Hyuuga compound to see Hanabi, or that he himself would be Head of the Hyuuga.
Of course Naruto is not telling Neji he should give up, in fact he’s just about telling him the reverse, that he should stop giving up and start doing something about his attraction to Hinata. Neji, being angsty and broody, doesn’t see that.
“And why should I do that?” His voice is lower than he wanted, flatter; barely a question at all.
“Because it’s not making you happy.”
Naruto is about happiness, as much as Sakura and Gaara. For a contrast, Neji and Sasuke are looking for contentment, not happiness. Happiness is a positive concept, whereas contentment is closer to nothingness.
For Naruto, achieving one's goal whould lead to happiness. Therefore he cannot understand that Neji's goal is simply to let things be the way they are.
Neji only looks back into Naruto’s eyes, mutely. Of course it’s not. If Neji had wanted some semblance of happiness, he’d have taken a mistress; he’d have looked for a girlfriend. He could have achieved reasonable happiness.
Or at the very least he could've achieved contentment, but even that is too much for him.
The realistic part of me says that he could have indeed be happy, truly happy, with someone else. Partly because happiness is not completely something you make 100 percent for yourself. You can't be completely miserable if the people you care about are happy and you are part of this happiness. Partly because since happiness is also something you make for yourself, part of being happy is working at it. You can't be completely miserable if you're doing something, making efforts of some sort, in short if you're being constructive. Neji is actively avoiding this part.
Naruto seems to sense this reasoning will not get him anywhere, so he switches tactics.
“Look, why did you go this morning?”
“To get laid,” Neji answers flatly.
I have ‘flatter’ and ‘flatly’ in several sentences. I hope it’s not too disturbing. :/
Naruto only rolls his eyes, as if Neji’s attempts to distract him or shock him were nothing but a big waste of his time. “Yeah, thank you, genius, I could’ve guessed that. What I meant is, what made you go this morning?”
It's not the last time in the fic Neji will try to shock Naruto and derail his train of interrogation. Every time, Neji's attempts fail.
“Maybe I go there every morning and you just don’t know it,” Neji remarks.
Naruto sends him a reproachful look. “Neji, please, gimme some credit. I think I’d pay attention if one of my best friends looked like he was taking leafs out of the pervert’s book.”
Naruto’s being unfair. Btw, I thought about making Very Bad Puns regarding that ‘leafs’, especially since there was a ‘book’ mentioned, but in the end I decided that it would just be a waste of time, so I didn’t. (do you realise the extent of the sacrifice?) BUT DID I EVER WANT TO.
Another reason why Neji has such a hard time lying to Naruto is that Naruto isn’t even consciously playing the friend card. He really does think of Neji as a friend before thinking of him as the Head of the Hyuuga. This is why Neji always has to remind him of what is and what is not proper, because Neji himself never forgets that he’s Head of the Hyuuga. The bandages around Hinata’s forehead make it hard to disregard.
Even if Hinata hadn’t been sealed into the Branch House, I don’t think Neji would have been able to easily forget that he’s become Head of the Hyuuga, though I think he’d only have been able around her. Here, of course, he can’t, because she’s become yet another reminder, and easily the most painful at that.
Neji’s hands flex on his lap.
...Btw, shouldn’t that be ‘in’ his lap?...
“I-needed to.”
Naruto nods. “Because?”
If Neji was Sasuke, now would be the time he frowned and told him to not push it, Uzumaki. Unfortunately, Neji is perhaps less hypocritical than the Uchiha, so he doesn’t. Not that Sasuke’s mixed signals would change anything to the outcome, anyway, a fact which rarely fails to console Neji. It just happens that today is one of the rare failures.
Occasionally I realise that in some circumstance I imagine Neji and Sasuke as having the same reaction. This makes me unhappy because I don’t think they have the same personnality at all once you get past the ‘this town is too small for two black-haired silent pretty boy genius assholes with doujutsu and family issues’ attitude, so I always try to differentiate their reactions. Sometimes it makes it into what I’m writing.
One of the keys I have to distinguish Neji and Sasuke is that Neji is passive and Sasuke is active. There’s also the fact that Sasuke is much more emotional than Neji, Neji is much calmer than Sasuke. With the arc that began with Orochimaru-training-Sasuke (and continued with Sasuke killing Oro), I’d also say that Neji is more ruthless than Sasuke - or rather, than he doesn’t particularly care one way or another if he kills his enemies or not, whereas Sasuke does everything he can to avoid that.
It’s due to the fact, I think, that Sasuke was/is trying to be as different from his brother as he can, and that involves not becoming an indiscriminating murderer. (It’s not Sasuke’s fault he goes at not-being-like-his-brother in the most woobieish way. <3) Neji, of course, has a much less conflicted vision of ninja dying and killing each other.
OFF-TOPIC only read if you’re interested in my rants and my Sasukelol<3 vision.
I think people should remember that Sasuke only killed someone quite late in his ninja years, and that was Orochimaru; we don’t know if others (especially the girls >_>) did, but the Sasuke Rescuse Mission ended with several members dirtying their hands. You just have to see Kiba’s face when Kankurou finishes Sakon to see that he knows that.
On Sasuke killing - I’ll give Orochimaru as far as intentions are concerned, because that’s certainly what he was doing for all intents and purposes (even if he told Kabuto Orochimaru wasn’t dead, I doubt he was hoping Oro would come back from the dead from inside his brain, though with Sasuke you never know), but you have to remember that Kishimoto didn’t let him kill Oro, and he didn’t let him kill Itachi either. Sasuke’s hands are very clean in that respect.
The only spot on this otherwise unblemished record is when he tried to kill his best friend, oops. (Twice, because let’s not forget the fight on the hospital roof, though I suppose his intent is questionable - Kakashi said ‘were you trying to kill Naruto?’, but that could just have been to try and impress upon Sasuke how close he’d come to that.)
Or you can also remember the time, at the beginning of the Forest of Death, when Team Seven was attacked by a Rain-nin, and Sasuke went ‘kunai!’ without hesitating while Naruto and Sakura were both D: and 0_0. And he yelled at them ‘we don’t have a choice, it’s necessary!’ and things to that effect. Things that would not at all have been out of place if Sasuke had killed the other ninja and if he was explaining to his teammates how much they didn’t have a choice about it. But was that the case? No. Sasuke merely injured their attacker. (Sasuke is a woobie lol.)
Comparing with Naruto: Naruto was going to kill Haku. He didn’t, much through the same ‘I need my heroes to keep their hands clean’ device that Kishi later used with Sasuke, but he was going to - after Kyuubi had receded from his features, a proof that he was in his right mind at the time, while it’s debatable that Sasuke was in his when he tried to do Naruto in, at least at the Valley of the End (he had the mark all over him by then).
And that was certainly an off-topic digression, but it’s something I’ve been wanting to type for a long time, so I suppose it just came out.
“a fact that rarely fails to console Neji” :3 Why yes I think Neji would be petty enough for that. Also, to me it’s also a hint of Neji->Naru (it may well be the only one in the entire piece) for reasons I’m not sure I could explain. Probably the use of the verb ‘console’ implies that Sasuke has something Neji is/could be envious of. And in the context, that could only be Naruto.
“Because I needed to,” he repeats.
Naruto lets out a frustrated sigh. “Neji...”
“It’s not any of your business.”
Of course sometimes Neji and Sasuke have the same reaction because they are both closed-off bitches. Or I listened to too much fanon.
“If one of my friends is making himself unhappy and I know why, I think it’s my business.”
Neji closes his eyes. Against the blackness of his closed eyelids, the green mark on Hinata’s white brow flashes, like it did this morning under the black bangs flying around her head as she sparred.
Use of colour for the non-original, check. I did so I could tell the reader about Hinata being Branch House without going 'Ever since Hinata had received the curse seal...' The description fit the piece more than the hammered telling. Or at least I think so.
“I had to get away.” Before he did something monstruous.
“Ah.” Naruto nods, sagaciously. Naruto knows already; it isn’t the first time he’s broached the subject with Neji, and Neji lets himself hope that, this time again, Naruto will be understanding. Neji doesn’t think he can stop.
He can’t stop having an outlet and not snap.
His hands clench into fists. He is not a rapist.
I'm ambivalent about this last sentence. I'm not terribly fond of it, but at the same time I did feel like I needed to make Neji's position clear - what he's fearing, and what he thinks of it.
“Don’t you think you could tell her? Or show her, or whatever?” Naruto looks at him, expectation in his eyes.
Neji snorts. “Yes, that’s a wonderful idea. I should just slam her against a wall and ignore her screams. Or are you suggesting I should summon her to my room before I start ripping her clothes?”
He tries to dispell the images that mere handful of words provided, and the reaction already warming in his blood.
The likelihood of such a thing ever happening in this verse is Exceedingly Low. Because this Neji is very aware that would be rape and rape is wrong and he’s not going to do that ever thx. (and the dark-ish fantasies will stay just that.)
There’s something dark in Naruto’s eyes; something telling Neji that it’s no use trying to shock Naruto with this, that it would take much more than Neji’s feeble attempts to appall him.
Because Team Seven romance isn’t entirely light and happy; even if I didn’t go into it, I wanted to mention it. Neji is only scaring himself with horror stories. Naruto has lived the horror stories.
“I’m not sure she’d react as bad as you make it sound if she knew,” Naruto finally says, once Neji has looked away. “Hinata-chan’s never been in a serious relationship, right? Maybe you could offer that to her.”
For the record, I have no idea who were her non-serious relationships. Probably OCs of no importance. I just mentioned that because I hate the idea of someone basically going celibate for ever and ever and ever because they were Keeping Themselves for their One Twu Wuv. Hate.
Because she was saving herself for you, Neji indifferently thinks. And when it was too late, she didn’t care enough to find someone else.
“Or at least you could, I don’t know, try getting closer to her.” Naruto throws his arms in the air. “Ask Tenten about it or something, I’m not good at that stuff!”
I wasn’t sure who Naruto was going to say Neji should ask. I decided on Tenten because, to Naruto: 1)she is close to Neji, 2)she is a girl, 3)she is normal. I also use the mention to imply that she’s not being unrequited on Neji, because that would be sad, and I’m not interested in her enough to do that to her. I don’t like Neji-related Tenten angst. I prefer to make her angst about her career.
He stops in his exasperation, lowering his arms and levelling Neji with one of these steady looks that seem to carry much more than Neji actually sees.
A second referrence to the fact that Naruto sees farther than Neji, to bring the fic full circle. I don’t think Naruto’s steady mature looks would be easy to bear, particularly if you’re already feeling guilty the way Neji does.
“I don’t know. But if you’re really afraid you’re gonna snap, then you need to find something else, because this isn’t working.”
I have Naruto be the voice of reason. This fic owes so so much to Hiasobi.
Neji doesn’t reply. How could he make Naruto understand that it’s part of the point?
Of course, he doesn’t try, because he knows Naruto is right.
Naruto stays silent for a moment, then he asks, in a softer voice, “What do you get out of it anyway?”
Neji doesn’t say anything.
White, sweaty skin shivering under his palms, long black hair he doesn’t dare touch, and the mantra ‘niisan’ he hates himself for, streaming endlessly out of the girl’s mouth.
Son of the color imagery for the non-originality.
It's not a pleasant situation for Neji at all, even when he's in the middle of The Act, because at the same time he wants desperately the girl to be Hinata, and so he's treating her sort of like he treats Hinata everyday (he doesn't dare touch her hair), and at the same time he knows very well she's not Hinata (he hates himself for making her call him 'niisan').
It's not often that I play the 'incest-waaaaah' card. I feel it cheapens the Hyuuga angst more than anything else. Makes their issues too normal, you know? Incest is something everyone would be concerned about if they fell in love with their brother/sister (let's forget that Neji and Hinata aren't actually brother and sister for a moment, shall we, and that marriage between cousins is perfectly legal).
Instead of making them angst about that, I think it makes the reader much more aware of how weird their relationship is if they're instead angsting on, say, Hyuuga-only issues of Branch-House Main-House. I never got the idea that characters should have ordinary issues the audience could relate to for them to be interesting.
It's misinterpreting the idea. People relate and sympathise with emotions, not situations. It's been brilliantly explored by works such as Camus' The Stranger and proven time and time again by every decent and a number of very bad fantasy, historical and/or romance novels/movies. We don't relate to Naruto because he's a ninja: we relate to him because he wants to be loved.
But I never said situations aren't part of the fun, ergo the whole “I'll make Neji head of the Hyuuga!” premise.
I can’t really remember how I got the idea for this theme. I know I had decided it could refer to Hinata, Neji, Naruto, or Hiashi. But I was afraid of doing too much of the same thing with Hinata - pretty much all of my fics assume that she’s the Head. As for Hiashi, I already had a theme where Hinata and Neji were disrespecting his authority, unposted as of yet, I know I know. So I had both Neji and Naruto be the respective Leaders of the groups they were interested in.
This theme was also written considerably later than a number of the others (I don’t write them in order), so I was already pretty burned out on the straighter PWP approach (hahahaha, as if I ever can write such a thing as a straight PWP) and I needed a motivation to write this.
There are, as usual, several fics that inspired me to write this: hiasobi's Theme Sets, particularly here, and sintari's The Eyes I Thought Were You.
17. Leader
Lying to Naruto has always been difficult, Neji acknowledges, because Naruto’s eyes did see clearer than anyone else, except for things that concerned primarily him.
You all know how I hate writing first sentences, right? By the way, re-reading that, the tenses are awkward.
He’s like Hinata in that respect; he’s never caught up on the fact Hinata loved him, though Neji never knew if it was because he wasn’t interested in her that way or for some other reason. Neji sometimes regrets he doesn’t know, as understanding Naruto is a sure key toward understanding Hinata.
The similarity between Naruto and Hinata has been noted in canon - though admittedly by Sakura and Lee, and Naruto taking an interest in Hinata would've served both their agendas.
But it's still true, especially with regards to Neji. Both his important fights are with them. In some respects (the fate-vs-change) they're in the same place compared to him. Besides, in both fights he goes out of his role. It's more obvious when he loses it against Hinata, but he does tell his life's story to Naruto in the middle of the arena. Not exactly a 100 percent proof of complete control.
But now Naruto stands as Nanadaime, the Kyuubi’s abilities since long assimilated, lying to him has become near impossible. Neji doubts anyone but Kakashi dares trying it nowadays, and the only reason Kakashi does is because he doesn’t care if Naruto believes him.
...I THINK I never worked out who’d been Rokudaime. The reason I mention Kakashi was because I didn’t want the reader to think Kakashi-as-Rokudaime had been killed.
I wanted Naruto to be not-Rokudaime, because it means that becoming Hokage was an even longer and more arduous process than you'd think. I never get into these past difficulties, but this sentence means that they exist all the same; to me, that sort of unexplained details is what makes up the verisimilitude of a world. It's never just about the main characters, and it's never as clear cut as you would imagine; everyone is the main character of their own story, and everyone leads a complicated life.
When Naruto looks up from his desk as Neji enters the Hokage’s office, Neji refuses to start at Naruto’s focused expression, the way his eyes are boring into him, even though Neji has showered, twice, before coming here.
He’s not late. Neji is never late. He’s had to upset his schedule that morning so he’d be able to get away from the Hyuuga compound early enough that he wouldn’t be late for a meeting with the Hokage; he’d had to count into it the showers, too. He shouldn’t have needed the showers, especially if he’s right about the reason why Naruto told him they’d be talking, but he couldn’t help it.
Naruto hasn’t listened to a word his ANBU captain told him since Neji entered the office, he’s willing to bet; not that it matters anyway, because ANBU don’t go talking of the village’s private affairs in front of Clan Heads, and thus the captain has seamlessly gone into made-up territory and will keep up the pretence until the story, prepared beforehand, has reached its end, or the Hokage interrupts her. Neji knows, more clearly than what other Clan Heads suspect; he used to be in ANBU himself, once.
The ANBU captain was always going to be Ino. I also love playing with things like internal politics, and the tensions between clans/ANBU seemed interesting. For Neji to know how things worked meant that he had to have been in ANBU himself (that worked out with the fanon of ANBU!Neji). The recent chapters have shown that clans/ANBU tensions are very canon, what with ANBU not being about clans at all but being entirely the village’s, and I’m glad this paragraph hasn’t been Jossed.
Naruto apparently changes his mind about his tactics halfway through the captain’s cover story.
I’m probably writing/reading too much into it, but to me it was a hint of Naruto’s unpredictability, or something.
“Yeah, I’ll see you later, okay?” he cuts her in the middle of a sentence, without taking his eyes away from Neji.
Kishimoto has made Naruto a drama-queen master of theatrics and that’s not the sort of thing I ever let go. Eye-contact is even more important between Naruto and Neji than it would be between practically any other characters, due to the Byakugan and due to the fact that Neji thinks Naruto has the better ‘eyesight’ in the village. That’s also the reason why I referred to that line of Neji’s above.
‘Later.’ The Hokage’s schedule is desperately full; something pretty important must have come up, for the ANBU captain to come over and for Naruto to let the discussion encroach onto his meeting with Neji. His teammates will be delighted, Neji thinks sardonically.
I wanted to refer to Sasuke and Sakura here, because I didn’t want the reader to think everything had gone to hell. (There had already been the mention of Nanadaime, possibly implying that someone had died.)
He ignores Ino as she walks past him and out of the office, she does the same. The only person Neji enjoys meeting even less than Ino is Sasuke; this is saying something.
I’m not entirely sure where this comes from, except that I think it’d be hilarious in a venomous, vicious way. (Bitchy-girly.) You are welcome to imagine how easy Naruto’s life can potentially be with those three strongly disliking one another.
Neji and Ino have never got on well since he left ANBU. He doesn’t get on much better with Kiba, for similar reasons, but Kiba doesn’t seem to resent him quite as much as Ino, and most of Neji’s disapproval of Kiba hinges on the fact that Neji is not at all convinced Kiba is the person who can make his youngest cousin happy, if the frequent rows between Hanabi and him are anything to judge by.
I’m rather proud of this justification of the Neji-Ino antipathy. The KibaHanabi slipped in without being invited, btw, but it’s a crackship I find very very cute, so I wasn’t exactly protesting. I like putting Kiba in ANBU for the same reason I like making Ino the ANBU captain: it’s not fanon’s primary choice of a career for them, as if they were somehow less competent than Neji, Shikamaru, or Shino. (Though Kiba makes it more often than Ino.) What’s up with that? Is it because they’re not stoic and stone-faced? Since when is that a requirement to make ANBU?
Neji wonders vaguely what it is with Hyuuga and ANBU, but his attention is drawn again to Naruto. The Hokage is going to go home later than usual tonight if he sees Ino again, and his teammates never take that lightly. What Naruto wants to tell him must be pretty important in his eyes for him to not put the meeting back.
I like the idea of Sasuke and Sakura being >( when Naruto lets work eat away resting time. It probably involves some sort of silent treatment, though I wouldn't guarantee it. And of course it's NaruSasuSaku being cute and threesomey.
And whatever it is, Neji knows it concerns him personally. The Hyuuga clan hasn’t needed the Hokage to intervene in its affairs for a while now, and if this was just some minor business - a genin giving up too early on ever becoming a chuunin, a widowed parent who should be put on desk duty to protect the rest of the family - Naruto would have been the one going to the Hyuuga compound to see Neji. He has done so in the past.
I love giving examples of how leaders are concerned with the people under their responsibility. Often I give examples that involve only one or two persons, both because it’s how it is in canon (see Sandaime talking to Iruka by his parents’ grave) and because it’s the best way to imply there isn’t anything major troubling the village at the time.
It was important for the atmosphere of the fic that it’s not a time of trouble; it’s a peaceful, happy life (that’s why I mention NaruSasuSaku and KibaHanabi, and if you know me you know I think bickering couples are strong stuff), and Neji doesn’t have his happiness. The very peacefulness of it implies that it’s unlikely anything will change or break out of the mould. Only drama could make Hinata change her way of seeing Neji - and for the record, I don’t want to kill Hanabi.
“You wished to see me, Hokage-sama,” Neji intones silkily.
Naruto looks at him warningly. “Don’t give me that bullshit,” he advises, “and sit down, you’re tiring me out.”
Of course, the moment Neji wordlessly takes the chair in front of the desk - he could have purposely misunderstood Naruto and instead chosen one of the sofa lining the wall, but he guesses it’s better not antagonise him right from the beginning - Naruto stands up and walks to the other side of the desk.
Neji = passive-aggressive.
I had fun making Naruto be >O about it. I also had a lot of fun depicting Naruto as mature and grown-up, not biting Neji's passive-aggressive bait. You know he's had a lot of practise.
He goes and stands squarely in front of Neji, crosses his arms, and states, “You went to see a whore this morning.”
Dun dun dun.
It’s not a question.
Again, Neji acknowledges that since Naruto assimilated Kyuubi’s abilities, hiding anything like that from him is almost impossible; he certainly hasn’t succeeded. Neji has washed twice since then, including his hair, with two different-smelling sort of soaps. Even an Inuzuka wouldn’t be able to pick up on the lingering scent of sex.
I take up again the mention that he showered twice, and this time I explain.
“Well, that’s alright, because that’s just what I wanted to talk to you about.”
Score one for Hyuuga perspicacity, but Neji doesn’t suppose the meeting will go much the same way. His defence is dismally thin.
He stares stonily at Naruto, refusing to give him even an inch. Everyone who ever came to face Naruto learnt at their cost that it never stops there. Neji was among the first to be taught that lesson, and he has never allowed himself to forget it.
“And if I did?”
Naruto leans against his desk and pouts.
“You can’t do that.”
Naruto isn’t playing by the rules; he’s not giving arguments or reasons. He’s being childish. I don't think it contradicts what I said earlier about him being more mature. It's only his superficial behaviour that's childish, not his reasons for it.
Neji doesn’t say that he obviously can; that he in fact just did and is likely to do so again whenever he feels like it. For one, Naruto, when pushed enough, is not so proud that he will not resort to abusing his power. For another, Neji doesn’t feel up to dealing with several minutes of Naruto flailing and shouting strangled exclamations until he gets back under control.
‘not so proud that he will not resort to...’ I wonder if I couldn’t have written this sentence in a way that avoided the double-negative, but I wanted the ‘not so proud’. This discussion is all about pride for Neji, and he doesn’t get - or doesn’t want to get - that to Naruto it’s one of his friends hurting. It’s a given in canon that Naruto thinks he knows better than his friends and is perfectly willing to go against their wishes.
To be fair to Neji, it’s mostly because I don’t think I can retain any measure of seriousness when writing a flailing Naruto that I have Neji avoid provoking him. But I at least wanted to mention it.
“Are you going to tell me it’s not good politics?”
He can’t entirely keep the sneer off his voice. Maybe because it’s a remark he has made to himself time and time again; the Head of the Hyuuga doesn’t go visit whores. He just doesn’t. He takes a lover and, if his tastes run that way, he leaves his wife alone once she has popped out the requisite heir. Then again, this is only applicable if the Head of the Hyuuga has a wife.
You know, the reason I spend so long writing about things being/not being ‘good politics’ is because I really think like that in RL. Granted, this applies mostly to history, but, yeah. I'm concerned about things like 'proper conduct' in real life. Especially when it means my candidate losing votes. :(
It isn’t good politics either that Neji isn’t married; and he doesn’t have a lover for the same reason that he doesn’t have a wife. Whores, at least, have no claim on him, and Neji is discreet.
He tries not to think about the risk of blackmail.
That’s me taking care of plot holes by going ‘see, I know it exists’. Thus it becomes Neji's fault for not being careful or thorough enough instead of mine.
Instead of bristling like anyone normal, Naruto just blinks.
My instant reaction had been to think ‘okay, now there’s bristling’, but I decided against it, partly because I wasn’t sure how to go on from there and partly for characterisation reasons: Naruto, after all, is 'unpredictable'.
“What? No!” He grins feebly. “You’re usually the one calling me on that shit. And, hey, we’ve had that discussion enough that you should know I don’t give a damn about that thing, right?”
Neji is much more conventional than Naruto. No matter which way you look at it, he’s about the furthest from a rebel you can get while also disagreeing with the rules. Neji as the ‘good-politics’ conscience of Naruto was sold to me by Hiasobi’s theme sets, particularly THIS - 48 Proper Conduct.
Neji would like to keep this on the subject of good politics. As Naruto pointed out, it would give him uncontested higher ground. Or it would, if Naruto’s bad politics weren’t an unconventional relationship most of the village doesn’t know what to make of and thus ignores, and Neji’s wasn’t anti-relationship related.
I wanted to say that Neji isn’t much better than Naruto on that topic, not sure how clearly it comes across. I like mentioning NaruSasuSaku and how the village ignores it. ^__^
“Look, Neji, you need to stop.”
There’s no trace of a smile on Naruto’s face now. Neji doesn’t like the sympathy he can read in the Hokage’s eyes - his friend’s eyes. He doesn’t like that Naruto knows.
He’s on the defensive now. It isn’t the first time Naruto tried to talk to him about it, but never before has he had that expression in his eyes.
I needed a reason why this discussion would be different from the others, otherwise I wasn’t sure about how to write it.
There's no exterior reason why Naruto is different today, just that Naruto feels that too much is too much.
Bitterly, Neji reflects that he’d never have imagined he’d see the day Naruto advised someone on giving up. Then again, once, Neji would never have imagined Uchiha Sasuke could make his peace about being forcibly back in Konoha, or that Kiba would come over to the Hyuuga compound to see Hanabi, or that he himself would be Head of the Hyuuga.
Of course Naruto is not telling Neji he should give up, in fact he’s just about telling him the reverse, that he should stop giving up and start doing something about his attraction to Hinata. Neji, being angsty and broody, doesn’t see that.
“And why should I do that?” His voice is lower than he wanted, flatter; barely a question at all.
“Because it’s not making you happy.”
Naruto is about happiness, as much as Sakura and Gaara. For a contrast, Neji and Sasuke are looking for contentment, not happiness. Happiness is a positive concept, whereas contentment is closer to nothingness.
For Naruto, achieving one's goal whould lead to happiness. Therefore he cannot understand that Neji's goal is simply to let things be the way they are.
Neji only looks back into Naruto’s eyes, mutely. Of course it’s not. If Neji had wanted some semblance of happiness, he’d have taken a mistress; he’d have looked for a girlfriend. He could have achieved reasonable happiness.
Or at the very least he could've achieved contentment, but even that is too much for him.
The realistic part of me says that he could have indeed be happy, truly happy, with someone else. Partly because happiness is not completely something you make 100 percent for yourself. You can't be completely miserable if the people you care about are happy and you are part of this happiness. Partly because since happiness is also something you make for yourself, part of being happy is working at it. You can't be completely miserable if you're doing something, making efforts of some sort, in short if you're being constructive. Neji is actively avoiding this part.
Naruto seems to sense this reasoning will not get him anywhere, so he switches tactics.
“Look, why did you go this morning?”
“To get laid,” Neji answers flatly.
I have ‘flatter’ and ‘flatly’ in several sentences. I hope it’s not too disturbing. :/
Naruto only rolls his eyes, as if Neji’s attempts to distract him or shock him were nothing but a big waste of his time. “Yeah, thank you, genius, I could’ve guessed that. What I meant is, what made you go this morning?”
It's not the last time in the fic Neji will try to shock Naruto and derail his train of interrogation. Every time, Neji's attempts fail.
“Maybe I go there every morning and you just don’t know it,” Neji remarks.
Naruto sends him a reproachful look. “Neji, please, gimme some credit. I think I’d pay attention if one of my best friends looked like he was taking leafs out of the pervert’s book.”
Naruto’s being unfair. Btw, I thought about making Very Bad Puns regarding that ‘leafs’, especially since there was a ‘book’ mentioned, but in the end I decided that it would just be a waste of time, so I didn’t. (do you realise the extent of the sacrifice?) BUT DID I EVER WANT TO.
Another reason why Neji has such a hard time lying to Naruto is that Naruto isn’t even consciously playing the friend card. He really does think of Neji as a friend before thinking of him as the Head of the Hyuuga. This is why Neji always has to remind him of what is and what is not proper, because Neji himself never forgets that he’s Head of the Hyuuga. The bandages around Hinata’s forehead make it hard to disregard.
Even if Hinata hadn’t been sealed into the Branch House, I don’t think Neji would have been able to easily forget that he’s become Head of the Hyuuga, though I think he’d only have been able around her. Here, of course, he can’t, because she’s become yet another reminder, and easily the most painful at that.
Neji’s hands flex on his lap.
...Btw, shouldn’t that be ‘in’ his lap?...
“I-needed to.”
Naruto nods. “Because?”
If Neji was Sasuke, now would be the time he frowned and told him to not push it, Uzumaki. Unfortunately, Neji is perhaps less hypocritical than the Uchiha, so he doesn’t. Not that Sasuke’s mixed signals would change anything to the outcome, anyway, a fact which rarely fails to console Neji. It just happens that today is one of the rare failures.
Occasionally I realise that in some circumstance I imagine Neji and Sasuke as having the same reaction. This makes me unhappy because I don’t think they have the same personnality at all once you get past the ‘this town is too small for two black-haired silent pretty boy genius assholes with doujutsu and family issues’ attitude, so I always try to differentiate their reactions. Sometimes it makes it into what I’m writing.
One of the keys I have to distinguish Neji and Sasuke is that Neji is passive and Sasuke is active. There’s also the fact that Sasuke is much more emotional than Neji, Neji is much calmer than Sasuke. With the arc that began with Orochimaru-training-Sasuke (and continued with Sasuke killing Oro), I’d also say that Neji is more ruthless than Sasuke - or rather, than he doesn’t particularly care one way or another if he kills his enemies or not, whereas Sasuke does everything he can to avoid that.
It’s due to the fact, I think, that Sasuke was/is trying to be as different from his brother as he can, and that involves not becoming an indiscriminating murderer. (It’s not Sasuke’s fault he goes at not-being-like-his-brother in the most woobieish way. <3) Neji, of course, has a much less conflicted vision of ninja dying and killing each other.
OFF-TOPIC only read if you’re interested in my rants and my Sasukelol<3 vision.
I think people should remember that Sasuke only killed someone quite late in his ninja years, and that was Orochimaru; we don’t know if others (especially the girls >_>) did, but the Sasuke Rescuse Mission ended with several members dirtying their hands. You just have to see Kiba’s face when Kankurou finishes Sakon to see that he knows that.
On Sasuke killing - I’ll give Orochimaru as far as intentions are concerned, because that’s certainly what he was doing for all intents and purposes (even if he told Kabuto Orochimaru wasn’t dead, I doubt he was hoping Oro would come back from the dead from inside his brain, though with Sasuke you never know), but you have to remember that Kishimoto didn’t let him kill Oro, and he didn’t let him kill Itachi either. Sasuke’s hands are very clean in that respect.
The only spot on this otherwise unblemished record is when he tried to kill his best friend, oops. (Twice, because let’s not forget the fight on the hospital roof, though I suppose his intent is questionable - Kakashi said ‘were you trying to kill Naruto?’, but that could just have been to try and impress upon Sasuke how close he’d come to that.)
Or you can also remember the time, at the beginning of the Forest of Death, when Team Seven was attacked by a Rain-nin, and Sasuke went ‘kunai!’ without hesitating while Naruto and Sakura were both D: and 0_0. And he yelled at them ‘we don’t have a choice, it’s necessary!’ and things to that effect. Things that would not at all have been out of place if Sasuke had killed the other ninja and if he was explaining to his teammates how much they didn’t have a choice about it. But was that the case? No. Sasuke merely injured their attacker. (Sasuke is a woobie lol.)
Comparing with Naruto: Naruto was going to kill Haku. He didn’t, much through the same ‘I need my heroes to keep their hands clean’ device that Kishi later used with Sasuke, but he was going to - after Kyuubi had receded from his features, a proof that he was in his right mind at the time, while it’s debatable that Sasuke was in his when he tried to do Naruto in, at least at the Valley of the End (he had the mark all over him by then).
And that was certainly an off-topic digression, but it’s something I’ve been wanting to type for a long time, so I suppose it just came out.
“a fact that rarely fails to console Neji” :3 Why yes I think Neji would be petty enough for that. Also, to me it’s also a hint of Neji->Naru (it may well be the only one in the entire piece) for reasons I’m not sure I could explain. Probably the use of the verb ‘console’ implies that Sasuke has something Neji is/could be envious of. And in the context, that could only be Naruto.
“Because I needed to,” he repeats.
Naruto lets out a frustrated sigh. “Neji...”
“It’s not any of your business.”
Of course sometimes Neji and Sasuke have the same reaction because they are both closed-off bitches. Or I listened to too much fanon.
“If one of my friends is making himself unhappy and I know why, I think it’s my business.”
Neji closes his eyes. Against the blackness of his closed eyelids, the green mark on Hinata’s white brow flashes, like it did this morning under the black bangs flying around her head as she sparred.
Use of colour for the non-original, check. I did so I could tell the reader about Hinata being Branch House without going 'Ever since Hinata had received the curse seal...' The description fit the piece more than the hammered telling. Or at least I think so.
“I had to get away.” Before he did something monstruous.
“Ah.” Naruto nods, sagaciously. Naruto knows already; it isn’t the first time he’s broached the subject with Neji, and Neji lets himself hope that, this time again, Naruto will be understanding. Neji doesn’t think he can stop.
He can’t stop having an outlet and not snap.
His hands clench into fists. He is not a rapist.
I'm ambivalent about this last sentence. I'm not terribly fond of it, but at the same time I did feel like I needed to make Neji's position clear - what he's fearing, and what he thinks of it.
“Don’t you think you could tell her? Or show her, or whatever?” Naruto looks at him, expectation in his eyes.
Neji snorts. “Yes, that’s a wonderful idea. I should just slam her against a wall and ignore her screams. Or are you suggesting I should summon her to my room before I start ripping her clothes?”
He tries to dispell the images that mere handful of words provided, and the reaction already warming in his blood.
The likelihood of such a thing ever happening in this verse is Exceedingly Low. Because this Neji is very aware that would be rape and rape is wrong and he’s not going to do that ever thx. (and the dark-ish fantasies will stay just that.)
There’s something dark in Naruto’s eyes; something telling Neji that it’s no use trying to shock Naruto with this, that it would take much more than Neji’s feeble attempts to appall him.
Because Team Seven romance isn’t entirely light and happy; even if I didn’t go into it, I wanted to mention it. Neji is only scaring himself with horror stories. Naruto has lived the horror stories.
“I’m not sure she’d react as bad as you make it sound if she knew,” Naruto finally says, once Neji has looked away. “Hinata-chan’s never been in a serious relationship, right? Maybe you could offer that to her.”
For the record, I have no idea who were her non-serious relationships. Probably OCs of no importance. I just mentioned that because I hate the idea of someone basically going celibate for ever and ever and ever because they were Keeping Themselves for their One Twu Wuv. Hate.
Because she was saving herself for you, Neji indifferently thinks. And when it was too late, she didn’t care enough to find someone else.
“Or at least you could, I don’t know, try getting closer to her.” Naruto throws his arms in the air. “Ask Tenten about it or something, I’m not good at that stuff!”
I wasn’t sure who Naruto was going to say Neji should ask. I decided on Tenten because, to Naruto: 1)she is close to Neji, 2)she is a girl, 3)she is normal. I also use the mention to imply that she’s not being unrequited on Neji, because that would be sad, and I’m not interested in her enough to do that to her. I don’t like Neji-related Tenten angst. I prefer to make her angst about her career.
He stops in his exasperation, lowering his arms and levelling Neji with one of these steady looks that seem to carry much more than Neji actually sees.
A second referrence to the fact that Naruto sees farther than Neji, to bring the fic full circle. I don’t think Naruto’s steady mature looks would be easy to bear, particularly if you’re already feeling guilty the way Neji does.
“I don’t know. But if you’re really afraid you’re gonna snap, then you need to find something else, because this isn’t working.”
I have Naruto be the voice of reason. This fic owes so so much to Hiasobi.
Neji doesn’t reply. How could he make Naruto understand that it’s part of the point?
Of course, he doesn’t try, because he knows Naruto is right.
Naruto stays silent for a moment, then he asks, in a softer voice, “What do you get out of it anyway?”
Neji doesn’t say anything.
White, sweaty skin shivering under his palms, long black hair he doesn’t dare touch, and the mantra ‘niisan’ he hates himself for, streaming endlessly out of the girl’s mouth.
Son of the color imagery for the non-originality.
It's not a pleasant situation for Neji at all, even when he's in the middle of The Act, because at the same time he wants desperately the girl to be Hinata, and so he's treating her sort of like he treats Hinata everyday (he doesn't dare touch her hair), and at the same time he knows very well she's not Hinata (he hates himself for making her call him 'niisan').
It's not often that I play the 'incest-waaaaah' card. I feel it cheapens the Hyuuga angst more than anything else. Makes their issues too normal, you know? Incest is something everyone would be concerned about if they fell in love with their brother/sister (let's forget that Neji and Hinata aren't actually brother and sister for a moment, shall we, and that marriage between cousins is perfectly legal).
Instead of making them angst about that, I think it makes the reader much more aware of how weird their relationship is if they're instead angsting on, say, Hyuuga-only issues of Branch-House Main-House. I never got the idea that characters should have ordinary issues the audience could relate to for them to be interesting.
It's misinterpreting the idea. People relate and sympathise with emotions, not situations. It's been brilliantly explored by works such as Camus' The Stranger and proven time and time again by every decent and a number of very bad fantasy, historical and/or romance novels/movies. We don't relate to Naruto because he's a ninja: we relate to him because he wants to be loved.
But I never said situations aren't part of the fun, ergo the whole “I'll make Neji head of the Hyuuga!” premise.