Yet more random thoughts
Okay, so its four in the morning. And yes, I do keep odd hours. But I've grown so used to them that they no longer seem in the least bit odd to me. And I have a wild youth and constant gaming of the roleplaying persuasion to thank for that.
Anyways, its about this time of night that my mind really starts turning out thoughts, so I figured I'd write them down..
I got a letter from the lawfirm representing me in my worker's comp. case today. I thought it would be paper work for the settlement I was basically being railroaded into making. So, imagine my surprise when I found a letter inside which informed me that the attorney currently handling my case has moved on. He no longer works for the lawfirm and he has not taken my case with him. I'm being assigned a new attorney. Could this perhaps be a change in the winds? Might I actually get some treatment for my knee? I'm not letting myself get my hopes up yet. I'll wait and see.
And I have come truly appreciate the following quote:
"The more you know, the less you understand."
- Tao Te Ching
I've been doing quite a bit of inward thinking, if you follow me. Asking a lot of questions about who I am in the hopes of finding out. And I'm realizing that the more I know about myself, the less I understand. Perhaps its time to stop questioning and simply be who I am.
I also understand now why my warrior nature and Bear spirit have gone dormant to an extent.
"When the way comes to and end, then change- having changed, you pass through."
- I Ching
I am undergoing a lot of changes right now, as is my life. I am finally coming to trust myself in many things. In the past, I doubted only myself and never others. I assumed that, because of my past, it had to be me that was in the wrong. I understand now that it is not always so.
Also, many of my friends and loved ones are actually making me believe in the abilities that I have. With their faith and encouragement, I'm actually going to put those abilities to the test. Its been told to me that I am a good taleweaver, that I work with words the way other artisans work with metal, or wood or clay. And that I produce some vivid, spellbinding works. Because of this sentiment, I am going to try and get published. Its an affirmation in the belief of my friends. I promise that your faith has not been misplaced.
I've been more calm and centered recently, and this without even maintaining a regular meditation schedule. Many things have inspired visions in me as of late, and I'm seeing a tiger more and more in my meditative wanderings. Perhaps it is now time for me to adopt the tiger as another animal spirit.
I want so desperately to go back to learning martial arts and The Way of The Sword. I keep feeling an intense pull back towards those things. Its like I've turned a complete circle and I'm back where I started. But unless the doctors can work some miracle with my knee, my road down that path will be a very limited one.
And finally;
"We shape clay into a pot, but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want."
- Tao Te Ching
I have come to realize that I have shaped many things in the attempt to make them into something. But that's all pointless unless they remain something which I want. I know that I cannot shape the world, life, and the relationships I have into something other than what they are. And if I truly wish to enjoy them, then I must stop trying to do so. Life and relationships can only really flourish when you pour all that you want into them instead of looking for what you want in them.
Anyways, its about this time of night that my mind really starts turning out thoughts, so I figured I'd write them down..
I got a letter from the lawfirm representing me in my worker's comp. case today. I thought it would be paper work for the settlement I was basically being railroaded into making. So, imagine my surprise when I found a letter inside which informed me that the attorney currently handling my case has moved on. He no longer works for the lawfirm and he has not taken my case with him. I'm being assigned a new attorney. Could this perhaps be a change in the winds? Might I actually get some treatment for my knee? I'm not letting myself get my hopes up yet. I'll wait and see.
And I have come truly appreciate the following quote:
"The more you know, the less you understand."
- Tao Te Ching
I've been doing quite a bit of inward thinking, if you follow me. Asking a lot of questions about who I am in the hopes of finding out. And I'm realizing that the more I know about myself, the less I understand. Perhaps its time to stop questioning and simply be who I am.
I also understand now why my warrior nature and Bear spirit have gone dormant to an extent.
"When the way comes to and end, then change- having changed, you pass through."
- I Ching
I am undergoing a lot of changes right now, as is my life. I am finally coming to trust myself in many things. In the past, I doubted only myself and never others. I assumed that, because of my past, it had to be me that was in the wrong. I understand now that it is not always so.
Also, many of my friends and loved ones are actually making me believe in the abilities that I have. With their faith and encouragement, I'm actually going to put those abilities to the test. Its been told to me that I am a good taleweaver, that I work with words the way other artisans work with metal, or wood or clay. And that I produce some vivid, spellbinding works. Because of this sentiment, I am going to try and get published. Its an affirmation in the belief of my friends. I promise that your faith has not been misplaced.
I've been more calm and centered recently, and this without even maintaining a regular meditation schedule. Many things have inspired visions in me as of late, and I'm seeing a tiger more and more in my meditative wanderings. Perhaps it is now time for me to adopt the tiger as another animal spirit.
I want so desperately to go back to learning martial arts and The Way of The Sword. I keep feeling an intense pull back towards those things. Its like I've turned a complete circle and I'm back where I started. But unless the doctors can work some miracle with my knee, my road down that path will be a very limited one.
And finally;
"We shape clay into a pot, but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want."
- Tao Te Ching
I have come to realize that I have shaped many things in the attempt to make them into something. But that's all pointless unless they remain something which I want. I know that I cannot shape the world, life, and the relationships I have into something other than what they are. And if I truly wish to enjoy them, then I must stop trying to do so. Life and relationships can only really flourish when you pour all that you want into them instead of looking for what you want in them.