still holding strong
For a blissful hour this morning I was the only person in the office. It was weird, but very nice. So quiet. Now the guy in the office next to me is here and he's hacking up a lung, sniffling and sneezing. I'm not in much better shape, but at least I'm on the other side of my cold. I'm considering sending him home before more people get here and he infects everyone. I emailed him and he said he would leave in 30 minutes. Just leave now! And please don't touch anything on your way out.
Christmas was very nice, but there was definitely an overall air of "This is the last Christmas with no babies." Driving down, at church, waking up Christmas morning, packing up to go to my brother's - it was the spoken and unspoken overarching sentiment. How is all of this going to happen with two babies? I know I was in denial for a long time about just how I was going to care for two babies, but I've definitely come out of that. Now I'm defiant. I can take care of two babies by myself! I know I'll need help initially, but I also know I need to figure it out on my own. I think all of this is coming from two places. First, conceivably in 12 weeks or less these two could arrive. Second, my dad has gone overboard in his worrying, overbearing ways and keeps trying to line up people to come live with me and telling me "We'll figure this out." No, I'LL figure this out. There is no "we" in this parenting situation, there is only me. And while I completely appreciate all of the help my parents give me, in the end, I'm responsible for these two little lives. He told me the other night that he thinks I need full time help living with me for the first YEAR of their lives. Let's not even get into the ludicrousness of that statement. I'm going to have my mom talk to him. But anyway, as you can see, this is making me go all independent, defiant I can do this! Which is probably good.
The babies got a lot of presents! Swaddles, and outfits, and nuks, and bibs. Mama got a video camera that records to mini-dvd's! And a kickass pair of black Skechers that I almost bought for myself, but then decided I didn't need slip on sneakers in pink, brown, and black. But clearly I do! Since it was snowing the perfect snowfall yesterday, we went outside to do a little sledding. Sammy hadn't had a nap and melted down pretty quick, but Liv stuck it out. Lucy and Max chased the four wheeler and sled around and around. At least Max did. Lucy pooped out pretty quick. But, each time she would make a valiant effort to at least chase them for half the time.
Christmas was very nice, but there was definitely an overall air of "This is the last Christmas with no babies." Driving down, at church, waking up Christmas morning, packing up to go to my brother's - it was the spoken and unspoken overarching sentiment. How is all of this going to happen with two babies? I know I was in denial for a long time about just how I was going to care for two babies, but I've definitely come out of that. Now I'm defiant. I can take care of two babies by myself! I know I'll need help initially, but I also know I need to figure it out on my own. I think all of this is coming from two places. First, conceivably in 12 weeks or less these two could arrive. Second, my dad has gone overboard in his worrying, overbearing ways and keeps trying to line up people to come live with me and telling me "We'll figure this out." No, I'LL figure this out. There is no "we" in this parenting situation, there is only me. And while I completely appreciate all of the help my parents give me, in the end, I'm responsible for these two little lives. He told me the other night that he thinks I need full time help living with me for the first YEAR of their lives. Let's not even get into the ludicrousness of that statement. I'm going to have my mom talk to him. But anyway, as you can see, this is making me go all independent, defiant I can do this! Which is probably good.
The babies got a lot of presents! Swaddles, and outfits, and nuks, and bibs. Mama got a video camera that records to mini-dvd's! And a kickass pair of black Skechers that I almost bought for myself, but then decided I didn't need slip on sneakers in pink, brown, and black. But clearly I do! Since it was snowing the perfect snowfall yesterday, we went outside to do a little sledding. Sammy hadn't had a nap and melted down pretty quick, but Liv stuck it out. Lucy and Max chased the four wheeler and sled around and around. At least Max did. Lucy pooped out pretty quick. But, each time she would make a valiant effort to at least chase them for half the time.