An open letter to Mel Gibson...
Dear Mr Gibson,
You're an alright actor, possibly even slightly good. But, for the love of god, who told you you could direct? I'd like to know so I can hunt them down and beat them with a rolled-up newspaper.
I've just been to see your god-awful "epic", Apocalypto.
I fell asleep an hour or so in.
I would like to be refunded the two-and-a-half hours of my life that I've just wasted, please.
And don't do it again. If I find you even looking lustily at a directors chair, I'll come for you. And then you'll fear the rolled-up newspaper. Oh yes.
Yours in ludicrous boredom,
Rebecca Ferry
You're an alright actor, possibly even slightly good. But, for the love of god, who told you you could direct? I'd like to know so I can hunt them down and beat them with a rolled-up newspaper.
I've just been to see your god-awful "epic", Apocalypto.
I fell asleep an hour or so in.
I would like to be refunded the two-and-a-half hours of my life that I've just wasted, please.
And don't do it again. If I find you even looking lustily at a directors chair, I'll come for you. And then you'll fear the rolled-up newspaper. Oh yes.
Yours in ludicrous boredom,
Rebecca Ferry