*looks at watch*
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...Im waiting for the Comedy Channel to start airing. Its supposed to start at 8am which is six hours away but Im pretending its not. Im also pretending I dont technically have to wait over 14 more hours to see South Park as Comedy Centrals going to be airing faggy shows all morning like the crap-shitting channel its going to be.
I spent all yesterday afternoon standing in a giant puddle of toilet water as a pipe broke under our house leaking galleons of water all into the downstairs room making it now a fun smelly magical squish carpet room. It took three hours for me and my mum to mop up the excess water and carry all the god damn motherfucking photo albums and shit up two flights of stairs. The whole house now smells like damp piss. I hate pipes. I hate plumbers. I hate Luigi.
Since then Ive been watching episodes of South Park to cheer me up and have in the process fallen in love with the slash pairing of Cartman x Kyle. Possibly due to the three part episodes Imaginationland I, II and III where Cartman spends all 3 doing everything in his power to get Kyle to suck his balls which in the end happens when two imaginary versions of them are bought to life through Cartmans mind.
And now Im watching an infomercial advertising powersaws featuring people drilling through safes and cars. Why would you show that as a demonstration? Is it marketed towards robbers and car thieves?....I want one.