Murrr?
I am terrified I am falling helplessly, hopelessly in love with a twenty-one year old. O.O
I didn't like tweny-one year olds when I was one. I've never dated anyone less than five years older than me, even when I was a teenager. Twelve years younger than me? Am I INSANE?
A baby. Baby, baby twenty-one year old. Right? Right. Sweet everything, but - everything in the world I value, the innocence of intention and the active, curious intelligence and the forge-hot belief that decency and devotion and knowing are the most meltingly hot things imaginable, that life is there to be lived and embraced and that love carries a high price utterly worth paying and if you take the world as you find it you're a waste of space. And not rah-rah cheap college fire, but sweet, deep, carried-for-a-lifetime fire. But the lifetime has three years as an adult. INSANE. I am INSANE.
A baby. Twenty-one. I swear, I haven't flirted a word, but I'm - good grief. Smitten. I understand the word "smitten." Simple words in text the most achingly affecting things I've ever seen, articulate and brilliant and tough-minded and a believer that the best is possible.
I'm terrified. I am helplessly falling in love with a baby, I take it all back, river, the finding out the age only killed it for a little while, and now it's all back and jeeeeeeez.
I never ever do this ever at all. I've been in love for the space of a traffic light and vaguely love-ish when I was crazy anyway for a few months - in my LIFE. I cannot be falling in love with a twenty-one year old English major from Kansas. Not Possible.
I have had a very emotional night that had nothing to do with this, and I solemnly hope it just blindsided me and I'll be sane again tomorrow. Sane. Friendly, yes? Yes. Just friendly. Friends.
I'm falling in love with a twenty-one year old. Shouldn't the world be EXPLODING OR SOMETHING?
*whimper*
O.o
I didn't like tweny-one year olds when I was one. I've never dated anyone less than five years older than me, even when I was a teenager. Twelve years younger than me? Am I INSANE?
A baby. Baby, baby twenty-one year old. Right? Right. Sweet everything, but - everything in the world I value, the innocence of intention and the active, curious intelligence and the forge-hot belief that decency and devotion and knowing are the most meltingly hot things imaginable, that life is there to be lived and embraced and that love carries a high price utterly worth paying and if you take the world as you find it you're a waste of space. And not rah-rah cheap college fire, but sweet, deep, carried-for-a-lifetime fire. But the lifetime has three years as an adult. INSANE. I am INSANE.
A baby. Twenty-one. I swear, I haven't flirted a word, but I'm - good grief. Smitten. I understand the word "smitten." Simple words in text the most achingly affecting things I've ever seen, articulate and brilliant and tough-minded and a believer that the best is possible.
I'm terrified. I am helplessly falling in love with a baby, I take it all back, river, the finding out the age only killed it for a little while, and now it's all back and jeeeeeeez.
I never ever do this ever at all. I've been in love for the space of a traffic light and vaguely love-ish when I was crazy anyway for a few months - in my LIFE. I cannot be falling in love with a twenty-one year old English major from Kansas. Not Possible.
I have had a very emotional night that had nothing to do with this, and I solemnly hope it just blindsided me and I'll be sane again tomorrow. Sane. Friendly, yes? Yes. Just friendly. Friends.
I'm falling in love with a twenty-one year old. Shouldn't the world be EXPLODING OR SOMETHING?
*whimper*
O.o