Crazy
I work seven days a week, usually two jobs a day (except tuesdays) and I'm tired.
I shouldn't have taken on so much work, but I need the money. I need riding equipment, gas and farrier and all that stuff. Let alone money to spend if I actually get a chance to go out somewhere.
Ya my big expenditure yesterday was two shirts and a pair of cheap shoes from Old Navy. What craziness! >.>
*sigh*
Heather's sick, so no movie still. I just want to bloody see Batman Begins! AND NOT BY ALL MY F'ING SELF! for a change.
Got a PM from Jace. I'm a mixture of feelings and I could strangle him. YES I COULD STRANGLE YOU! (in case he sees this)
I'm sick of it all. I want to be happy for awhile. I always have some emergency to deal with, why can't I just enjoy myself for a change. Everyone tells me to enjoy my youth. Everyone tells me to put money away now for later. Everyone tells me I need to do this and I need to do that. Oh but don't forget not to work too much.
Make up your fricking minds already!
I'm alone, constantly and I don't like it. I thought I found the one, I was happy and then he disapeared. I hurt. So I did what comes natural to me, so I could survive... I walled off those emotions and let the hurt numb out behind that wall of ice. I tried to bury myself in work, pay attention to the now and stop hopping that someone would care enough to tell me what happened.
Ray... I'm angry at you. What you did was bloody selfish! You didn't give me any warning... Just tell me the truth and I'll be ok, but don't play the martyr please. I put on the brave face and waited and hoped and all it got me was that bloody PM. Be fair, please, with all my heart I beg you just to make up your mind. Are you coming or going? I'm not going to unfreeze my heart just to have you smash it because work was bad. I warned you not to let it win and you said not to worry.
it's 10:54 and I need to be at Chris' at 7am and then the orchard at 9am.
Bane if you happen to get online tomorrow and see me on, I could use a friend.
If I keep getting treated this way, one of these days I really will be my own bloody island and I'll have taken all the paddles with me.
I'm honest, it's not a bad thing.
I shouldn't have taken on so much work, but I need the money. I need riding equipment, gas and farrier and all that stuff. Let alone money to spend if I actually get a chance to go out somewhere.
Ya my big expenditure yesterday was two shirts and a pair of cheap shoes from Old Navy. What craziness! >.>
*sigh*
Heather's sick, so no movie still. I just want to bloody see Batman Begins! AND NOT BY ALL MY F'ING SELF! for a change.
Got a PM from Jace. I'm a mixture of feelings and I could strangle him. YES I COULD STRANGLE YOU! (in case he sees this)
I'm sick of it all. I want to be happy for awhile. I always have some emergency to deal with, why can't I just enjoy myself for a change. Everyone tells me to enjoy my youth. Everyone tells me to put money away now for later. Everyone tells me I need to do this and I need to do that. Oh but don't forget not to work too much.
Make up your fricking minds already!
I'm alone, constantly and I don't like it. I thought I found the one, I was happy and then he disapeared. I hurt. So I did what comes natural to me, so I could survive... I walled off those emotions and let the hurt numb out behind that wall of ice. I tried to bury myself in work, pay attention to the now and stop hopping that someone would care enough to tell me what happened.
Ray... I'm angry at you. What you did was bloody selfish! You didn't give me any warning... Just tell me the truth and I'll be ok, but don't play the martyr please. I put on the brave face and waited and hoped and all it got me was that bloody PM. Be fair, please, with all my heart I beg you just to make up your mind. Are you coming or going? I'm not going to unfreeze my heart just to have you smash it because work was bad. I warned you not to let it win and you said not to worry.
it's 10:54 and I need to be at Chris' at 7am and then the orchard at 9am.
Bane if you happen to get online tomorrow and see me on, I could use a friend.
If I keep getting treated this way, one of these days I really will be my own bloody island and I'll have taken all the paddles with me.
I'm honest, it's not a bad thing.