My Other Canon
Author: thewriterbear
Story Index: [Freedom From Lions]
http://thewriterbear.livejournal.com/943.html
Title: The First Letter
Challenges:
Cotton Candy #5 - A Confession
Pistachio #10 - Lost
Rocky Road 16 - Where It All Happened
Toppings: None
Word Count: 632
Rating: PG - 13 *TW talk of rape
Summary: Alena reminisces in her diary about the very first time Lila wrote her a letter.
Dear Vanity,
I found Lila’s letter from the eighth grade. The day I first told her; the day I wish I had been smarter. I remember that day like yesterday. The lunchroom lights glared at me so bright they gave me a headache. My knees ached - no, my entire body hurt. I spent most of the lunch line with my head down, and hands shaking. How did you tell your friends something like this? Could I even call them friends? I’d only knew them a month or two. I guess that’s what I got for being the new girl. No one taught me what to say for the next part.
Lila and Elaine were chatting away about something or other, probably the writer’s club group we had all met each other in. Elaine moved here this year too, but she’s kind of shy and awkward. So am I, haha. Lila. Lila Randall had always given off a light… like you could tell her anything and she’d still be your friend. I don’t know, but maybe that’s why I did what I did that day.
Shaking, I waited for a pause in their conversation. My stomach knotted, and my throat tightened. I finally taped Lila’s shoulder, and whispered, “I did something terrible last night.”
LiLa’s face dropped, and her mouth fell open. Her big brown eyes got even bigger, and stared at me. “What… what did you do?” She whispered, her eyes sparking with curiousness. Maybe it was worry.
“I. I had sex.” I stammered out, my voice catching in my throat. Was that what it was? I didn’t even really know. Did it count as sex if I didn’t really want to? Did it count if I was on drugs?
“What?!” Her eyebrows furrowed and she frowned. “Why would you do that? With who?”
Thank God, she whispered it or I’d have had everyone staring at me.
“With. With….” I shook my head, realizing how fucked up it would sound if I said it allowed. It wasn’t normal, I knew that. But Jacen… Jacen wasn’t a totally bad person. So, why was I telling her anyway? I still don’t know why, and that was four years ago.
“With my cousin.” I spat, getting it out as fast as humanly possible.
“What?!” Now LiLa raised her voice. Enough for Elaine to look over at us with a puzzled look on her face.
“He… He’s seventeen.” I don’t know why this matter, but I said it anyway. I guess maybe my thirteen year old self found it as a good excuse for having sex? I don’t fucking now.
LiLa didn’t talk to me the rest of that day. She gave me this letter at the very end of school, with no words except “I’m sorry.”
Writing this is really upsetting me. I don’t know why I thought LiLa would help me… but I guess I had no where else to turn then - still don’t. I guess little me needed to tell someone how effed up things had gotten. Now that I look back… seventeen year old cousin, and a thirteen year old me… that wasn’t sex. That was rape.
Title: On A Date
Challenges:
Strawberry #4 - Sunrise/Sunset
Chocolate Chip Mint #20 - Uncomfortable
Chocolate #23 - (In)security
Toppings: None
Word Count: 632
Rating: PG
Summary: Alena tells her diary about her first date with Dustin
Dear Vanity,
I had my first date with Dustin today. He picked me up in his bright red car and we went to the local ‘parking’ spot. We didn’t do anything though - he believes in waiting, I think.. I wonder what he’ll think when he finds out I didn’t wait. Uh, oh. I think about that later…
We went and parked his car. The leaves are just starting to change colors, and it made everything seem to glow. I got tired of walking the path pretty quickly - maybe I should’ve ate something before we went… He picked me up and carried me for a little bit. It frightened me but was really fun after I got used to it. He must be real strong to pick up someone like me.
The sun set while we were there. We went to the very top of the highest hill, sat down and watch it together. It was nice. I don’t know how else to explain it, and when he took my hand and held it, it felt… right. Like magic almost. But something feels wrong. I don’t know what. It just feels off every time we actually talk and spend time together. Maybe I’m just too new at this relationship thing….
The pinks and the oranges lit up the sky and I focused on that instead of Dustin. He’ really likes me. He told me he hasn’t felt this way about a girl since his ex-girlfriend two years ago. How could I turn him down when he asked me to go out with him? That would have been mean, and cruel. I said yes. So I guess I have a boyfriend now. That’s good, right, Vanity? A boyfriend means loves and affection, and someone to love and share life with. That can’t be bad, right?
Story Index: [Freedom From Lions]
http://thewriterbear.livejournal.com/943.html
Title: The First Letter
Challenges:
Cotton Candy #5 - A Confession
Pistachio #10 - Lost
Rocky Road 16 - Where It All Happened
Toppings: None
Word Count: 632
Rating: PG - 13 *TW talk of rape
Summary: Alena reminisces in her diary about the very first time Lila wrote her a letter.
Dear Vanity,
I found Lila’s letter from the eighth grade. The day I first told her; the day I wish I had been smarter. I remember that day like yesterday. The lunchroom lights glared at me so bright they gave me a headache. My knees ached - no, my entire body hurt. I spent most of the lunch line with my head down, and hands shaking. How did you tell your friends something like this? Could I even call them friends? I’d only knew them a month or two. I guess that’s what I got for being the new girl. No one taught me what to say for the next part.
Lila and Elaine were chatting away about something or other, probably the writer’s club group we had all met each other in. Elaine moved here this year too, but she’s kind of shy and awkward. So am I, haha. Lila. Lila Randall had always given off a light… like you could tell her anything and she’d still be your friend. I don’t know, but maybe that’s why I did what I did that day.
Shaking, I waited for a pause in their conversation. My stomach knotted, and my throat tightened. I finally taped Lila’s shoulder, and whispered, “I did something terrible last night.”
LiLa’s face dropped, and her mouth fell open. Her big brown eyes got even bigger, and stared at me. “What… what did you do?” She whispered, her eyes sparking with curiousness. Maybe it was worry.
“I. I had sex.” I stammered out, my voice catching in my throat. Was that what it was? I didn’t even really know. Did it count as sex if I didn’t really want to? Did it count if I was on drugs?
“What?!” Her eyebrows furrowed and she frowned. “Why would you do that? With who?”
Thank God, she whispered it or I’d have had everyone staring at me.
“With. With….” I shook my head, realizing how fucked up it would sound if I said it allowed. It wasn’t normal, I knew that. But Jacen… Jacen wasn’t a totally bad person. So, why was I telling her anyway? I still don’t know why, and that was four years ago.
“With my cousin.” I spat, getting it out as fast as humanly possible.
“What?!” Now LiLa raised her voice. Enough for Elaine to look over at us with a puzzled look on her face.
“He… He’s seventeen.” I don’t know why this matter, but I said it anyway. I guess maybe my thirteen year old self found it as a good excuse for having sex? I don’t fucking now.
LiLa didn’t talk to me the rest of that day. She gave me this letter at the very end of school, with no words except “I’m sorry.”
Writing this is really upsetting me. I don’t know why I thought LiLa would help me… but I guess I had no where else to turn then - still don’t. I guess little me needed to tell someone how effed up things had gotten. Now that I look back… seventeen year old cousin, and a thirteen year old me… that wasn’t sex. That was rape.
Title: On A Date
Challenges:
Strawberry #4 - Sunrise/Sunset
Chocolate Chip Mint #20 - Uncomfortable
Chocolate #23 - (In)security
Toppings: None
Word Count: 632
Rating: PG
Summary: Alena tells her diary about her first date with Dustin
Dear Vanity,
I had my first date with Dustin today. He picked me up in his bright red car and we went to the local ‘parking’ spot. We didn’t do anything though - he believes in waiting, I think.. I wonder what he’ll think when he finds out I didn’t wait. Uh, oh. I think about that later…
We went and parked his car. The leaves are just starting to change colors, and it made everything seem to glow. I got tired of walking the path pretty quickly - maybe I should’ve ate something before we went… He picked me up and carried me for a little bit. It frightened me but was really fun after I got used to it. He must be real strong to pick up someone like me.
The sun set while we were there. We went to the very top of the highest hill, sat down and watch it together. It was nice. I don’t know how else to explain it, and when he took my hand and held it, it felt… right. Like magic almost. But something feels wrong. I don’t know what. It just feels off every time we actually talk and spend time together. Maybe I’m just too new at this relationship thing….
The pinks and the oranges lit up the sky and I focused on that instead of Dustin. He’ really likes me. He told me he hasn’t felt this way about a girl since his ex-girlfriend two years ago. How could I turn him down when he asked me to go out with him? That would have been mean, and cruel. I said yes. So I guess I have a boyfriend now. That’s good, right, Vanity? A boyfriend means loves and affection, and someone to love and share life with. That can’t be bad, right?