Summer #9 & Weekly Prompt

[shayna611]

Thyme #18. Face Value and
Vanilla Malt Custard #23. sometimes your friends will tell you something you don’t wanna hear
Story : knights & necromancers rewrite // ( old stuff here)
Rating : G
Timeframe : Book One
Word Count : ~650

Finally getting back to the plan of starting from the beginning. This follows the first installment. I'm not really

Comments

[fachefaucheux]

Oho! A cat appears! ^^

I dunno, I didn't see anything wrong with it at all. The dialogue flowed nicely, you gave a decent amount of characterization to them in a small space. Looking forward to the next bit~

[shayna611]

Yeeeah real dramatic, huh? Big cliffhanger there! I really don't want to make a big deal of it. I don't think they're going to have much of an encounter with Rune, I just don't really know what to do with it so I stopped there.

Thanks! :) I feel like Illia and Farran come out ok, but I'm not sure about Ski, because every time she goes to open her mouth, someone cuts her off and I'm not sure about that as a first impression. Maybe I'm just being overly critical like always.

[fachefaucheux]

Yeah, I'd say you are. She came off perfectly Ski-like to me.

[shayna611]

thank you. I really need to learn to tell myself to shut up and just keep writing

[niee87]

Haha, uh oh cat! :P

I agree with Olram. She did seem like Ski, mostly because we get her thoughts? and sometimes it's not a bad thing to let characters get cut off, even as a first impression :P

[shayna611]

thanks! :)

[promisesesimorp]

I think this was a really good piece. It flowed well and got information in without feeling bogged down. Plus each character has their own voice which gets hard in a scene like that.

Thumbs up@

[shayna611]

thanks! :)

[roisin_farrell]

[shayna611]

thank you! :)

I promise I will try my best.