Pumpkin Pie 9, Passionfruit 25: Dear Baby
Title: Dear Baby
Main Story: In the Heart
Flavors, Toppings, Extras: Pumpkin pie 9 (cobwebs), passionfruit 25 (But we loved with a love that was more than love - Edgar Allan Poe), rainbow sprinkles (Arelie), butterscotch (she's writing this three or four months before Arelie's birth), fresh blueberries (You will travel far, my little Kal-El. But we will never leave you … even in the face of our deaths … the richness of our lives shall be yours. All that I have, all that I've learned, everything I feel … all this, and more … I bequeath you, my son. You will carry me inside you all the days of your life.), cherry (letter), cookie crumbs (Arelie's section of this).
Word Count: 1029
Rating: PG.
Summary: Arelie writes to her daughter.
Notes: Letter again, inspired wholly by the blueberries. It worked.
Dear baby:
I've been sitting here and staring at this paper for at least an hour. This sounded like such a good idea in theory-- writing to you to explain-- but now that I'm actually doing it, I can't find the words. It's been so long since I've said anything about this that my mouth is full of cobwebs.
I suppose I should start at the beginning.
Eight months ago I was working at a lawyer's office in Los Angeles. I met your father there, and I fell in love with him. I fell so hard and so fast, I didn't even think about what I was doing. Or maybe I did, maybe I did think and I just dismissed it. I never thought... I...
I'm dancing around the subject. You see, baby, your father was married. To someone else.
What we did was wrong. I won't deny that. Marriage is a sacred thing, and your father and I dishonored it. But... I still can't think that it was so wrong as all that. You see... I'm doing this all wrong.
Your father loved me, baby.
I know that someday, when you find out how you came to be, you may not believe this. People often don't, but I honestly did. I still do. I honestly thought it would work. It might have, if you didn't have your half-siblings. Your father has children, you see. Five of them, six by now. Four girls and a son, and I don't know what the sixth is-- it would be almost your age, baby, only six or seven months older. Six children. Seven counting you.
If there were no children, I might not be writing you this letter.
Whatever else you believe, baby, I want you to know this: I loved your father, and he loved me.
You were made in love.
He never knew about you, though. I left him because of the children, you see. His wife found out, before we were ready. He was going to leave her for me after the baby came, but she found out too soon, and I realized... the way she reacted. I realized she would never let your father see his children if he left her for me, and I knew your father would never be able to forgive himself for that.
I knew he'd never be able to forgive me, either, and I think that was the real deciding factor. It shames me to think it, but if I could have kept him and had him not hate me... I might have stayed, baby.
Ah well. I didn't. I left, and I was three states away by the time I realized you were going to be born.
I don't like to think about the next few months. Let's just say that they were very hard, before I found your mommy and daddy. Or I should say, they found me.
You're moving now, little flutters in my belly. You feel the way that cobwebs look when they blow in the wind. Do you know I'm writing to you? Do you know everything I'm thinking?
I want you to know this, baby. I did not give you to your mommy and daddy because I didn't love you. I do love you; I love you more than I can possibly say, more than I can even imagine. More, certainly, than I loved your father, more than I've loved anyone, ever. I love you so much it leaves me breathless; that's really why I'm giving you to your mommy and daddy.
It's because they want you, baby. They want you so, so much, and they can give you a life so much better than anything I could possibly give you. You will learn as you grow older that this world is not kind to women with children and no husbands. It is less kind to those children. I have no money, I have no way of getting any, and... and your mommy and daddy love you so much already. You should see them; they're so excited and happy. They want you, and I cannot keep you.
Your father-- your biological father, not your daddy-- he would love you too. I never saw him with his children, but I heard him talk about them, and saw pictures of him with them. He adores them. They're his life and breath, just as much as you are mine. He would be so happy to know that you are coming. He would be so excited.
This is what I want you to know above all else, baby. You are loved. I love you. Your mommy and daddy love you. Your father loves you, even though he doesn't know-- somewhere in him I know there's a piece that does know, and that piece loves you. Your brothers and sisters, your half-siblings and the ones your mommy and daddy will have after you, they love you.
You are loved, baby. You are so loved. I wrote this letter to tell you that no matter what happens in the world, no matter what people do to you, what they say, you are loved.
Maybe you won't get this letter for a long, long time. Maybe it'll be old and covered in cobwebs by the time you do read it. Still, everything I have said will be true, as true as the sun is bright.
I hope you know how loved you are. I know that your mommy and daddy will tell you every day how much of a miracle you are, how wonderful and beautiful you are, because they are very smart people, and I know beyond a doubt they know how lucky they are to get you. I know they will tell you that they love you, every day. I hope in your darkest times you remember that.
I hope your life has nothing but good things. I hope you are always happy. I hope no one ever hurts you, or makes you cry. But most of all, I hope you know that you are loved.
I love you so much, my darling. I always will.
With all my heart;
your mother
Main Story: In the Heart
Flavors, Toppings, Extras: Pumpkin pie 9 (cobwebs), passionfruit 25 (But we loved with a love that was more than love - Edgar Allan Poe), rainbow sprinkles (Arelie), butterscotch (she's writing this three or four months before Arelie's birth), fresh blueberries (You will travel far, my little Kal-El. But we will never leave you … even in the face of our deaths … the richness of our lives shall be yours. All that I have, all that I've learned, everything I feel … all this, and more … I bequeath you, my son. You will carry me inside you all the days of your life.), cherry (letter), cookie crumbs (Arelie's section of this).
Word Count: 1029
Rating: PG.
Summary: Arelie writes to her daughter.
Notes: Letter again, inspired wholly by the blueberries. It worked.
Dear baby:
I've been sitting here and staring at this paper for at least an hour. This sounded like such a good idea in theory-- writing to you to explain-- but now that I'm actually doing it, I can't find the words. It's been so long since I've said anything about this that my mouth is full of cobwebs.
I suppose I should start at the beginning.
Eight months ago I was working at a lawyer's office in Los Angeles. I met your father there, and I fell in love with him. I fell so hard and so fast, I didn't even think about what I was doing. Or maybe I did, maybe I did think and I just dismissed it. I never thought... I...
I'm dancing around the subject. You see, baby, your father was married. To someone else.
What we did was wrong. I won't deny that. Marriage is a sacred thing, and your father and I dishonored it. But... I still can't think that it was so wrong as all that. You see... I'm doing this all wrong.
Your father loved me, baby.
I know that someday, when you find out how you came to be, you may not believe this. People often don't, but I honestly did. I still do. I honestly thought it would work. It might have, if you didn't have your half-siblings. Your father has children, you see. Five of them, six by now. Four girls and a son, and I don't know what the sixth is-- it would be almost your age, baby, only six or seven months older. Six children. Seven counting you.
If there were no children, I might not be writing you this letter.
Whatever else you believe, baby, I want you to know this: I loved your father, and he loved me.
You were made in love.
He never knew about you, though. I left him because of the children, you see. His wife found out, before we were ready. He was going to leave her for me after the baby came, but she found out too soon, and I realized... the way she reacted. I realized she would never let your father see his children if he left her for me, and I knew your father would never be able to forgive himself for that.
I knew he'd never be able to forgive me, either, and I think that was the real deciding factor. It shames me to think it, but if I could have kept him and had him not hate me... I might have stayed, baby.
Ah well. I didn't. I left, and I was three states away by the time I realized you were going to be born.
I don't like to think about the next few months. Let's just say that they were very hard, before I found your mommy and daddy. Or I should say, they found me.
You're moving now, little flutters in my belly. You feel the way that cobwebs look when they blow in the wind. Do you know I'm writing to you? Do you know everything I'm thinking?
I want you to know this, baby. I did not give you to your mommy and daddy because I didn't love you. I do love you; I love you more than I can possibly say, more than I can even imagine. More, certainly, than I loved your father, more than I've loved anyone, ever. I love you so much it leaves me breathless; that's really why I'm giving you to your mommy and daddy.
It's because they want you, baby. They want you so, so much, and they can give you a life so much better than anything I could possibly give you. You will learn as you grow older that this world is not kind to women with children and no husbands. It is less kind to those children. I have no money, I have no way of getting any, and... and your mommy and daddy love you so much already. You should see them; they're so excited and happy. They want you, and I cannot keep you.
Your father-- your biological father, not your daddy-- he would love you too. I never saw him with his children, but I heard him talk about them, and saw pictures of him with them. He adores them. They're his life and breath, just as much as you are mine. He would be so happy to know that you are coming. He would be so excited.
This is what I want you to know above all else, baby. You are loved. I love you. Your mommy and daddy love you. Your father loves you, even though he doesn't know-- somewhere in him I know there's a piece that does know, and that piece loves you. Your brothers and sisters, your half-siblings and the ones your mommy and daddy will have after you, they love you.
You are loved, baby. You are so loved. I wrote this letter to tell you that no matter what happens in the world, no matter what people do to you, what they say, you are loved.
Maybe you won't get this letter for a long, long time. Maybe it'll be old and covered in cobwebs by the time you do read it. Still, everything I have said will be true, as true as the sun is bright.
I hope you know how loved you are. I know that your mommy and daddy will tell you every day how much of a miracle you are, how wonderful and beautiful you are, because they are very smart people, and I know beyond a doubt they know how lucky they are to get you. I know they will tell you that they love you, every day. I hope in your darkest times you remember that.
I hope your life has nothing but good things. I hope you are always happy. I hope no one ever hurts you, or makes you cry. But most of all, I hope you know that you are loved.
I love you so much, my darling. I always will.
With all my heart;
your mother
