pumpkin pie #2 + grapefruit #14
pumpkin pie 2. witchcraft + grapefruit 14. spare change + chopped nuts
+ malt: how delightfully naive of you (SC #445)
story: second chances ; high school/au. wordcount: 3290. rating: pg.
"Oh wow," she says, "did you guys know that people sell spells and stuff on eBay?" Wherein Lonnie buys a love spell. BUT WHAT WILL HE DO WITH IT?
notes: 100% for fun. this is mainly AU because it doesn't fit into my timeline-it's pretty plausible actually. Lonnie probably would do this. And yeah, I'm not giving up on the pumpkin pie yet, despite the setbacks!
Brie is staring at the laptop balanced on her knees with an intensity that makes her look uncharacteristically stern. Darcy swallows a bite of her hamburger and leans forward to try to get a look at the screen.
"How's the auction looking?" she asks.
Brie looks up and her frown disappears. "Great. I'm winning so far."
"Great!" Darcy says, swiping a napkin across her mouth. "And this one is for…?"
"The giant styrofoam skull." Brie turns to computer around towards Darcy. Indeed, a big foam skull stared back at her, about the size of the folding chair it was posed on for the photograph. "It'd be great to have on the stage for the show. To really set the mood."
"Spooky," Darcy agrees.
Brie turns the computer back around. "What are you doing for Halloween? Are you coming to the fundraiser?"
"Sorry, I'm locked in to taking these kids I babysit trick or treating. Then there's supposed to be a party at the Taco Cart later and…oh hey!" Darcy sits up straighter, waving over Brie's shoulder. "It's Lonnie. Hi, Lonnie!"
Brie glances behind her and Lonnie raises a hand. "Hi, guys. What's up?"
"Brie's getting stuff off eBay for the drama club's Halloween thing," Darcy says.
Brie nods. "We have a pretty limited budget, so I'm doing what I can. Oh, Darcy-want to do a Goodwill trip after school?
"Ooh! Sure!" Darcy says. She turns to Lonnie. "So what about you-what are you doing for Halloween?"
He shrugs. "It's like half a month away."
Brie's gone back to looking at her screen when she lets out a loud sudden laugh. "Oh wow," she says, "did you guys know that people sell spells and stuff on eBay?"
Lonnie's eyebrows shoot up. "Really?"
"Let me see!" Darcy scoots over to look at Brie's screen. "So…you can a buy a love spell on the internet?"
"Yeah, for fifty bucks."
"Let me see that," Lonnie says, sitting down at the end of the table. With a shrug, Brie passes him the computer. She and Darcy watch as he scrolls through the listing. Darcy takes another bite of her hamburger.
"Hey," Lonnie says, looking up, "you don't think that a spell you bought on the internet would…actually work, do you?
Brie raises an eyebrow. "Would you want to pay fifty dollars to find out?"
"Maybe! How else would you find out if it worked or not?"
Darcy reaches for her napkin. "Why would you want a love spell anyway?"
"Just to see if it worked, that's all!"
"Can you get a refund if it doesn't work?"
"Small print says no," Brie says.
Lonnie seems unfazed. "But it would be worth it to see, right?"
Darcy and Brie exchange a look. "Um…sure," Darcy says finally.
"Can I e-mail myself the page?" Lonnie asks.
"Go ahead," Brie says.
Darcy looks away from the screen, shaking her head. "Lonnie, who would you even use it on? Mike?"
"No," Lonnie says. He looks up. "Why would I need to use it on Mike?
Darcy shrugs. It seems like time to return to the last few bites of her burger.
"Well if you do buy it," Brie says, in her very accommodating way, "be sure to let us know how it works out."
"Will do," Lonnie says.
* * *
When they step into the foyer, Lonnie makes a beeline for the small white box on the table by the staircase. "Oh, hey!" he says brightly. "It's my package!"
"What did you get?" Mike asks.
Lonnie lifts up the box to examine it under the light of the chandelier. "It's this love spell I got on eBay."
Mike stands there, waiting for the punchline. After a few seconds, he realizes there probably isn't one. "Love spell? Seriously?"
"Yeah, it's supposed to be like this whole little kit…" Lonnie seemed fully focused on picking at the packing tape.
Mike watches as he finally gets it open, then clears his throat. "So…why did you buy a love spell, again?
"To see if it would work!" Lonnie says. He pulls the folded receipt from the box and sets it on the table. Mike reaches over to lift up the corner of the paper then looks at Lonnie, genuinely surprised.
"You paid fifty bucks for this?"
Lonnie shrugs it off. "Well I had, you know, some spare money lying around anyway…"
"Yeah, well. I'm still a little surprised you spent fifty dollars on something so obviously bogus."
Lonnie glances between Mike and the box. "You don't think it looks legitimate?"
"Uh, even if it did…magic isn't real, so…"
Lonnie tosses the box back onto the table. "I know that!" he says. "I just thought, you know…what if it did work?
Mike blinks at him for a moment. "Yeah…that's not gonna happen."
"But how do you really know until you try it?"
"I'm pretty confident."
"You're no fun."
Mike tries not to laugh. "Sorry, it's just the truth."
"According to you. You don't believe in anything."
"I thought you liked that about me."
"Only when it's God! Now you're just being difficult."
This time, Mike does laugh. "Well, in any case," he says, gesturing towards the door, "I gotta go run some errands with my dad now. But you wanna do something like…Friday? We could walk through that pumpkin patch they're setting up over on Madison avenue. And see who can find the most deformed looking pumpkins or something."
"Sounds good," Lonnie says. And he's back to looking at the box.
Rolling his eyes, Mike heads for the door. He tries to think of a more ridiculous purchase than a spell from the internet, but can't come up with one.
* * *
Lonnie turns on the radio and flops down on the sofa beside Cass, who's cleaning her glasses with the sleeve of her sweater. She puts them on again and frowns at the box, now in Arnie's hands. "So this, um, love spell…"
"Yes?" Lonnie says.
"You got it from eBay?"
"The seller had a lot of positive feedback."
Arnie laughs. He's picking through the contents of the package. "So you have a piece of ribbon, some charcoal and rocks, a candle, a jar…and, oh look, instructions."
"What are you even going to do with it?" Cass asks Lonnie, leaning an elbow on the arm of the couch. "Oh, are you gonna use it on Mike?"
"No!" Lonnie says, annoyed. "Why does everyone keep asking that? Wouldn't that be redundant? I mean, he's already dating me."
Cass raises an eyebrow. "So?
"So…obviously he already likes me."
"Yeah…" She cocks her head to the side. "But not that much, right?"
Lonnie throws up his hands and refuses to dignify that with a response.
"Fine," Cass says. "Who are you going to cast it on, then?
Arnie looks up from the instructions. "Well, it doesn't sound like he has to make someone fall in love with him personally."
"Oh, so, like…you could use it to play match-maker?"
Arnie nods, tapping a finger to the paper. "Provided you can get your hands on a few personal affects from your…I want to say victims, is victims the right word?"
"I just want to see if I can make it work!" Lonnie says. "Who do you guys think I should use it on?" He turns to Arnie, but Arnie's absorbed in the instructions again. When he looks at Cass, her lips are pressed tightly together. Lonnie sighs. "You're going back to the Mike thing aren't you?"
She holds up her hands. "I just don't think it could hurt…"
"Oh!" Arnie says suddenly. "I have a thought! What about that friend of Mike's that you hate or whatever?"
"Rayn?" Cass supplies.
"Yeah, him," Arnie says. Why don't you use it on him to make him fall in love with…I don't know, someone weird?"
"Yeah!" Cass says. "Someone completely inappropriate. Like a teacher or-"
"Wait! I've got it!" The idea hits Lonnie like lightning; he would jump to his feet, if he were feeling less lazy. I've got it. Brie!
"Oh!" Arnie nods enthusiastically for a few seconds before admitting, "I don't know who that is."
"She's the girl who's been dating Rayn's friend Jack for…I don't know, years?"
"Oh, okay, I get it," Cass says. "Best friend's girlfriend. Nice."
Lonnie nods slowly. "This is a really good idea."
"So these are…people you only sort of know, right?" Arnie asks. "How are you going to get the 'personal affects'?"
Well…" Lonnie frowns. "Rayn and Jack are both in that shitty band. And I know Brie goes to the rehearsals. They have them on like…Thursdays I think?
"Doesn't Mike go to those sometimes?" Cass asks. "You could call him and get him to take you along."
"And grab some personal affects while you're at it," says Arnie.
Cass makes a sound of annoyance. "Okay, Arnie, I keep letting that slide, but I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be 'effects.'"
"But it says 'affects' in the spell!"
Lonnie's still contemplating the logistics. "It's a good idea, but I don't know about calling Mike…he'll be suspicious. Oh!" He sits up suddenly to dig his phone out of his pocket. Just like that, another good idea! "I know-I'm going to call Darcy. She'll get me in."
"Yeah," Arnie says with enthusiasm. "Get those affects!"
* * *
Cass offers to drive, so they take her Acura over to Jack's house, picking up Darcy along the way. Darcy spends the car ride chattering about the band, and there isn't really a good moment to mention the love spell plans.
"Thanks for the invite, Darcy," Lonnie says, shutting the car door. From the street, he can already hear the strains of what must be an attempt at guitar-tuning.
"Sure!" Darcy says, hopping out of the back seat. "I'm glad we can all hang out!"
Lonnie glances over his shoulder as they head towards the garage. He doesn't think he's ever been on this street before.
"I was a little surprised you guys wanted to come though," Darcy is saying.
"Surprised or suspicious?" Cass asks.
"She's kidding!" Lonnie says quickly. While Darcy's ducking under the half-open garage door, he shoots Cass a look. "You're only here because you said you'd help me with the…you-know-what."
"Right," Cass mutters, following Darcy under the door. "Cause that's not suspicious…"
Lonnie doesn't think Darcy heard that, but she gives him a strange look once they're all in the garage. "Um…what are you guys doing exactly? she asks.
"Couldn't we just have come to hear the band practice?" Lonnie says. He looks over to where Jack and Tony are inspecting Jack's guitar. "They are actually going to play, right? Not just stand around?"
"Hmm, it could go either way at this point." She glances at Cass. "But now that I'm thinking about it, maybe I am a little suspicious-"
"Oh, there's Brie!" Lonnie says. He waves wildly. "Hi, Brie!"
Brie looks startled for a second, then waves back. She sidesteps an amp, making her way over to them. "Hey, Lonnie. I haven't seen you at one of these before." She glances around the garage. "Where's Mike?"
"Oh," Lonnie says, "I'm here with Darcy."
Brie raises her eyebrows at Darcy. "He's here with you?"
"Why?" Darcy asks. "Is that suspicious?"
Lonnie points to the soda can in Brie's hand. "Hey, are you almost done with that soda?"
She blinks. "Yeah, actually."
"Can I have the can? It's for a project…a recycling project."
That's when Darcy's hand shoots out to grab him by the sleeve.
"Okay, can we talk?" she asks through clenched teeth. "Privately? Sorry, Brie."
Brie waves a little as Darcy starts dragging Lonnie towards the door to the house. "Um…it's okay," she says.
"I'll be here!" Cass calls after him. Lonnie allows himself to be dragged. Really, he doesn't think he has much of a choice.
"Oh, hi, Darcy!" Rayn calls as they pass. "And hi, Lonnie… Is Mike here?"
"No," Darcy says, sounding surprisingly short. She flashes a sheepish grin, maybe to make up for it. "Excuse us for a second."
Hands firmly on Lonnie's shoulders, she marches him up the stairs, through the door and into Jack's kitchen. She looks around the empty room, then plants her hands on her hips. "Okay, what exactly is going on here?"
"What?" Lonnie says. "I just wanted Brie's soda can."
"Why?" And don't say a project."
She's staring him down with some serious intensity. After a couple of seconds, he sighs. "Okay, fine. Remember that love spell I was going to buy on the internet?"
"Yeah?" Darcy's eyes widen. Then she frowns again. "Wait… Are you trying to make Brie fall in love with you?
"What? No, no!"
"I was gonna say."
"It's not about Brie, it's…" Lonnie shakes his head. "It's this idea that Cass and I came up with. It's…you know, probably not even going to do anything. So it doesn't really matter, right?"
"Then who?" Darcy asks. "Who are you trying to cast it on?"
He sighs again. Cards on the table. "Okay, we're trying to cast it on Rayn. To make him fall in love with Brie. So if you could maybe grab me something of his for us to use, like a guitar pick or even a pen-"
"What?"
Lonnie scratches his head. "Well, apparently I need personal items from both of them to cast the-"
"You're trying to make Rayn to fall in love Brie?" Darcy cuts in. The color has drained from her face.
"…Yeah?"
"Why the hell would you want to do that?" Darcy's face twists in anger; she balls her hands into fists at her sides.
Lonnie takes a step backwards. "Um, why do you think?"
"But why Brie?"
"I dunno!" Lonnie realizes he's holding his hands up, like he's trying to protect himself and almost drops them back to his sides. But that maybe doesn't seem safe. "Because she has a boyfriend already?" he tries. Darcy twitches. "It just…seemed like a good idea?"
"It's a terrible idea!"
He lets that hang in the air for a second, then swallows. "So then you're not going to help with the…personal-item-stealing?
"Don't do it," Darcy says, almost quietly.
Is she backing down? Lonnie crosses his arms. "Why not?"
Darcy takes a huge step forward, thrusting her face into his personal space and seizing his t-shirt. "Just don't do it," she says, in this quiet flat tone which Lonnie suddenly realizes is actually terrifying.
But before Lonnie can even react, the door to the garage creaks open and Brie sticks her head in.
"Hey, Darcy," she chirps, "they're about to actually play something!"
For a second, the scary expression melts from Darcy's face. "I'll be right there!" she calls. Then she turns back to Lonnie and shakes him by the shirt. "Stay away from Rayn. If you know what's good for you."
Lonnie takes a stumbling step backwards when she releases him, feeling a little shell-shocked. "Was that a threat?" he e calls after her back, as she disappears back into the garage. She doesn't answer and the door swings shut.
Before Lonnie has a chance to exhale, the door opens again. This time Cass sticks her head in. "Oh, there you are," she says. "How's the mission going?"
"I don't know…" Lonnie says slowly. "I asked Darcy to help and…she got all scary."
Cass wrinkles her nose. "Scary? Her?"
"Very."
"Why?"
"I have no idea." Lonnie shakes his head. "But I'm beginning to think we should abort the mission. Or at least postpone it."
Cass seems to think about it for a second. "In that case," she says, pointing back towards the garage, "can we get out of here before they actually start playing?"
* * *
As a gust of wind rattles through the trees, Lonnie sits at the picnic table, tugging his hat down over his ears. The sun has dipped behind the hills, but there's still enough daylight to see the traffic passing up on the road above the bike trail. Lonnie expected to see more people down here, but while he's waiting only two or three pass by. It never hurts to park farther away from the family-friendly festivities.
Lonnie's checking the time on his phone when he sees Mike's car-finally!-pull into the gravel parking lot.
"Hey!" Lonnie calls, the second Mike steps out of the car. "I was wondering if you were still coming."
"Sorry," Mike says. He slams the car door and jogs over to the picnic tables. "I've just been running late all day. You want to walk down to the pumpkin patch now?"
Lonnie hops to his feet. "Yeah, I am so ready to look at some pumpkins."
The arched sign for the farm is just visible from where they are , and after they start down the trail, Lonnie can also see where a large wooden maze has been set up. When the wind picks up again, Mike shivers, tugging his jacket zipper a little higher. "You know," he says. "This is almost like a date.
"Oh, yeah," Lonnie says. He's still looking at the maze. Would a life size maze even be fun? What if you got stuck, then what?
"I'm a little surprised you didn't try to invite Darcy," Mike says.
Lonnie's attention snaps back from the maze. "Hey, speaking of Darcy…did she tell you about, um…"
"Your plans for the love spell?" Mike says. Lonnie thinks he's smiling, but the daylight's fading so it's hard to be sure. "Yeah, actually. She did."
"Oh." Lonnie looks away for a second and stuffs his hands in his pockets. Then he looks at Mike again. "Are you mad?"
"Not really," Mike says. "I mean, the intention was shitty but…this is all a little hard to take seriously. I'm not even convinced you thought it was going to work."
Lonnie frowns down at his shoes. "Well, Darcy seemed to think it was going to work. I think she's mad at me now."
"Well, did you actually try to cast it?" Mike asks. When Lonnie shakes his head, he says, "Then she's probably not that mad at you." He nudges Lonnie's shoulder. "I'm impressed you finally showed some restraint."
"Well, I was sort of threatened out of it…" Lonnie kicks a piece of gravel.
Mike laughs. After a few second of walking in silence, he asks, "So what are you gonna do with the spell, then?"
"I don't know," Lonnie says. "I guess I need to put some thought into it. And really step back and consider all the potential consequences before I do anything…"
"It's cute that you think you have that kind of power," Mike says.
"But what if I did?"
Now Mike's looking at him like he's trying to tell if he's serious or not. Lonnie isn't sure if he's serious. He is hoping he at least sounded responsible. Then Mike stops walking and reaches out to grab his sleeve. "Hey, I'll tell you what," he says. "Since I hate to see you throw your money away, I'll give you my full permission to use it on me."
Lonnie stands there, mouth slightly open. Then he twists away with a sound of disgust. "Seriously? Even you think I need to use it on you? Come on!"
Mike looks stunned. "Wait, what?"
"I can't believe this!" Lonnie exclaims. He turns back down the path and starts to stomp off towards the lights of the pumpkin patch. "Oh, I am going to need to see some really deformed pumpkins before I can get over this…"
"Wait!" Mike calls after him. "I was trying to be nice this time! Lonnie, wait up! Seriously, wait!"
…yeah, that was the end.
SILLINESS.
+ malt: how delightfully naive of you (SC #445)
story: second chances ; high school/au. wordcount: 3290. rating: pg.
"Oh wow," she says, "did you guys know that people sell spells and stuff on eBay?" Wherein Lonnie buys a love spell. BUT WHAT WILL HE DO WITH IT?
notes: 100% for fun. this is mainly AU because it doesn't fit into my timeline-it's pretty plausible actually. Lonnie probably would do this. And yeah, I'm not giving up on the pumpkin pie yet, despite the setbacks!
Brie is staring at the laptop balanced on her knees with an intensity that makes her look uncharacteristically stern. Darcy swallows a bite of her hamburger and leans forward to try to get a look at the screen.
"How's the auction looking?" she asks.
Brie looks up and her frown disappears. "Great. I'm winning so far."
"Great!" Darcy says, swiping a napkin across her mouth. "And this one is for…?"
"The giant styrofoam skull." Brie turns to computer around towards Darcy. Indeed, a big foam skull stared back at her, about the size of the folding chair it was posed on for the photograph. "It'd be great to have on the stage for the show. To really set the mood."
"Spooky," Darcy agrees.
Brie turns the computer back around. "What are you doing for Halloween? Are you coming to the fundraiser?"
"Sorry, I'm locked in to taking these kids I babysit trick or treating. Then there's supposed to be a party at the Taco Cart later and…oh hey!" Darcy sits up straighter, waving over Brie's shoulder. "It's Lonnie. Hi, Lonnie!"
Brie glances behind her and Lonnie raises a hand. "Hi, guys. What's up?"
"Brie's getting stuff off eBay for the drama club's Halloween thing," Darcy says.
Brie nods. "We have a pretty limited budget, so I'm doing what I can. Oh, Darcy-want to do a Goodwill trip after school?
"Ooh! Sure!" Darcy says. She turns to Lonnie. "So what about you-what are you doing for Halloween?"
He shrugs. "It's like half a month away."
Brie's gone back to looking at her screen when she lets out a loud sudden laugh. "Oh wow," she says, "did you guys know that people sell spells and stuff on eBay?"
Lonnie's eyebrows shoot up. "Really?"
"Let me see!" Darcy scoots over to look at Brie's screen. "So…you can a buy a love spell on the internet?"
"Yeah, for fifty bucks."
"Let me see that," Lonnie says, sitting down at the end of the table. With a shrug, Brie passes him the computer. She and Darcy watch as he scrolls through the listing. Darcy takes another bite of her hamburger.
"Hey," Lonnie says, looking up, "you don't think that a spell you bought on the internet would…actually work, do you?
Brie raises an eyebrow. "Would you want to pay fifty dollars to find out?"
"Maybe! How else would you find out if it worked or not?"
Darcy reaches for her napkin. "Why would you want a love spell anyway?"
"Just to see if it worked, that's all!"
"Can you get a refund if it doesn't work?"
"Small print says no," Brie says.
Lonnie seems unfazed. "But it would be worth it to see, right?"
Darcy and Brie exchange a look. "Um…sure," Darcy says finally.
"Can I e-mail myself the page?" Lonnie asks.
"Go ahead," Brie says.
Darcy looks away from the screen, shaking her head. "Lonnie, who would you even use it on? Mike?"
"No," Lonnie says. He looks up. "Why would I need to use it on Mike?
Darcy shrugs. It seems like time to return to the last few bites of her burger.
"Well if you do buy it," Brie says, in her very accommodating way, "be sure to let us know how it works out."
"Will do," Lonnie says.
* * *
When they step into the foyer, Lonnie makes a beeline for the small white box on the table by the staircase. "Oh, hey!" he says brightly. "It's my package!"
"What did you get?" Mike asks.
Lonnie lifts up the box to examine it under the light of the chandelier. "It's this love spell I got on eBay."
Mike stands there, waiting for the punchline. After a few seconds, he realizes there probably isn't one. "Love spell? Seriously?"
"Yeah, it's supposed to be like this whole little kit…" Lonnie seemed fully focused on picking at the packing tape.
Mike watches as he finally gets it open, then clears his throat. "So…why did you buy a love spell, again?
"To see if it would work!" Lonnie says. He pulls the folded receipt from the box and sets it on the table. Mike reaches over to lift up the corner of the paper then looks at Lonnie, genuinely surprised.
"You paid fifty bucks for this?"
Lonnie shrugs it off. "Well I had, you know, some spare money lying around anyway…"
"Yeah, well. I'm still a little surprised you spent fifty dollars on something so obviously bogus."
Lonnie glances between Mike and the box. "You don't think it looks legitimate?"
"Uh, even if it did…magic isn't real, so…"
Lonnie tosses the box back onto the table. "I know that!" he says. "I just thought, you know…what if it did work?
Mike blinks at him for a moment. "Yeah…that's not gonna happen."
"But how do you really know until you try it?"
"I'm pretty confident."
"You're no fun."
Mike tries not to laugh. "Sorry, it's just the truth."
"According to you. You don't believe in anything."
"I thought you liked that about me."
"Only when it's God! Now you're just being difficult."
This time, Mike does laugh. "Well, in any case," he says, gesturing towards the door, "I gotta go run some errands with my dad now. But you wanna do something like…Friday? We could walk through that pumpkin patch they're setting up over on Madison avenue. And see who can find the most deformed looking pumpkins or something."
"Sounds good," Lonnie says. And he's back to looking at the box.
Rolling his eyes, Mike heads for the door. He tries to think of a more ridiculous purchase than a spell from the internet, but can't come up with one.
* * *
Lonnie turns on the radio and flops down on the sofa beside Cass, who's cleaning her glasses with the sleeve of her sweater. She puts them on again and frowns at the box, now in Arnie's hands. "So this, um, love spell…"
"Yes?" Lonnie says.
"You got it from eBay?"
"The seller had a lot of positive feedback."
Arnie laughs. He's picking through the contents of the package. "So you have a piece of ribbon, some charcoal and rocks, a candle, a jar…and, oh look, instructions."
"What are you even going to do with it?" Cass asks Lonnie, leaning an elbow on the arm of the couch. "Oh, are you gonna use it on Mike?"
"No!" Lonnie says, annoyed. "Why does everyone keep asking that? Wouldn't that be redundant? I mean, he's already dating me."
Cass raises an eyebrow. "So?
"So…obviously he already likes me."
"Yeah…" She cocks her head to the side. "But not that much, right?"
Lonnie throws up his hands and refuses to dignify that with a response.
"Fine," Cass says. "Who are you going to cast it on, then?
Arnie looks up from the instructions. "Well, it doesn't sound like he has to make someone fall in love with him personally."
"Oh, so, like…you could use it to play match-maker?"
Arnie nods, tapping a finger to the paper. "Provided you can get your hands on a few personal affects from your…I want to say victims, is victims the right word?"
"I just want to see if I can make it work!" Lonnie says. "Who do you guys think I should use it on?" He turns to Arnie, but Arnie's absorbed in the instructions again. When he looks at Cass, her lips are pressed tightly together. Lonnie sighs. "You're going back to the Mike thing aren't you?"
She holds up her hands. "I just don't think it could hurt…"
"Oh!" Arnie says suddenly. "I have a thought! What about that friend of Mike's that you hate or whatever?"
"Rayn?" Cass supplies.
"Yeah, him," Arnie says. Why don't you use it on him to make him fall in love with…I don't know, someone weird?"
"Yeah!" Cass says. "Someone completely inappropriate. Like a teacher or-"
"Wait! I've got it!" The idea hits Lonnie like lightning; he would jump to his feet, if he were feeling less lazy. I've got it. Brie!
"Oh!" Arnie nods enthusiastically for a few seconds before admitting, "I don't know who that is."
"She's the girl who's been dating Rayn's friend Jack for…I don't know, years?"
"Oh, okay, I get it," Cass says. "Best friend's girlfriend. Nice."
Lonnie nods slowly. "This is a really good idea."
"So these are…people you only sort of know, right?" Arnie asks. "How are you going to get the 'personal affects'?"
Well…" Lonnie frowns. "Rayn and Jack are both in that shitty band. And I know Brie goes to the rehearsals. They have them on like…Thursdays I think?
"Doesn't Mike go to those sometimes?" Cass asks. "You could call him and get him to take you along."
"And grab some personal affects while you're at it," says Arnie.
Cass makes a sound of annoyance. "Okay, Arnie, I keep letting that slide, but I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be 'effects.'"
"But it says 'affects' in the spell!"
Lonnie's still contemplating the logistics. "It's a good idea, but I don't know about calling Mike…he'll be suspicious. Oh!" He sits up suddenly to dig his phone out of his pocket. Just like that, another good idea! "I know-I'm going to call Darcy. She'll get me in."
"Yeah," Arnie says with enthusiasm. "Get those affects!"
* * *
Cass offers to drive, so they take her Acura over to Jack's house, picking up Darcy along the way. Darcy spends the car ride chattering about the band, and there isn't really a good moment to mention the love spell plans.
"Thanks for the invite, Darcy," Lonnie says, shutting the car door. From the street, he can already hear the strains of what must be an attempt at guitar-tuning.
"Sure!" Darcy says, hopping out of the back seat. "I'm glad we can all hang out!"
Lonnie glances over his shoulder as they head towards the garage. He doesn't think he's ever been on this street before.
"I was a little surprised you guys wanted to come though," Darcy is saying.
"Surprised or suspicious?" Cass asks.
"She's kidding!" Lonnie says quickly. While Darcy's ducking under the half-open garage door, he shoots Cass a look. "You're only here because you said you'd help me with the…you-know-what."
"Right," Cass mutters, following Darcy under the door. "Cause that's not suspicious…"
Lonnie doesn't think Darcy heard that, but she gives him a strange look once they're all in the garage. "Um…what are you guys doing exactly? she asks.
"Couldn't we just have come to hear the band practice?" Lonnie says. He looks over to where Jack and Tony are inspecting Jack's guitar. "They are actually going to play, right? Not just stand around?"
"Hmm, it could go either way at this point." She glances at Cass. "But now that I'm thinking about it, maybe I am a little suspicious-"
"Oh, there's Brie!" Lonnie says. He waves wildly. "Hi, Brie!"
Brie looks startled for a second, then waves back. She sidesteps an amp, making her way over to them. "Hey, Lonnie. I haven't seen you at one of these before." She glances around the garage. "Where's Mike?"
"Oh," Lonnie says, "I'm here with Darcy."
Brie raises her eyebrows at Darcy. "He's here with you?"
"Why?" Darcy asks. "Is that suspicious?"
Lonnie points to the soda can in Brie's hand. "Hey, are you almost done with that soda?"
She blinks. "Yeah, actually."
"Can I have the can? It's for a project…a recycling project."
That's when Darcy's hand shoots out to grab him by the sleeve.
"Okay, can we talk?" she asks through clenched teeth. "Privately? Sorry, Brie."
Brie waves a little as Darcy starts dragging Lonnie towards the door to the house. "Um…it's okay," she says.
"I'll be here!" Cass calls after him. Lonnie allows himself to be dragged. Really, he doesn't think he has much of a choice.
"Oh, hi, Darcy!" Rayn calls as they pass. "And hi, Lonnie… Is Mike here?"
"No," Darcy says, sounding surprisingly short. She flashes a sheepish grin, maybe to make up for it. "Excuse us for a second."
Hands firmly on Lonnie's shoulders, she marches him up the stairs, through the door and into Jack's kitchen. She looks around the empty room, then plants her hands on her hips. "Okay, what exactly is going on here?"
"What?" Lonnie says. "I just wanted Brie's soda can."
"Why?" And don't say a project."
She's staring him down with some serious intensity. After a couple of seconds, he sighs. "Okay, fine. Remember that love spell I was going to buy on the internet?"
"Yeah?" Darcy's eyes widen. Then she frowns again. "Wait… Are you trying to make Brie fall in love with you?
"What? No, no!"
"I was gonna say."
"It's not about Brie, it's…" Lonnie shakes his head. "It's this idea that Cass and I came up with. It's…you know, probably not even going to do anything. So it doesn't really matter, right?"
"Then who?" Darcy asks. "Who are you trying to cast it on?"
He sighs again. Cards on the table. "Okay, we're trying to cast it on Rayn. To make him fall in love with Brie. So if you could maybe grab me something of his for us to use, like a guitar pick or even a pen-"
"What?"
Lonnie scratches his head. "Well, apparently I need personal items from both of them to cast the-"
"You're trying to make Rayn to fall in love Brie?" Darcy cuts in. The color has drained from her face.
"…Yeah?"
"Why the hell would you want to do that?" Darcy's face twists in anger; she balls her hands into fists at her sides.
Lonnie takes a step backwards. "Um, why do you think?"
"But why Brie?"
"I dunno!" Lonnie realizes he's holding his hands up, like he's trying to protect himself and almost drops them back to his sides. But that maybe doesn't seem safe. "Because she has a boyfriend already?" he tries. Darcy twitches. "It just…seemed like a good idea?"
"It's a terrible idea!"
He lets that hang in the air for a second, then swallows. "So then you're not going to help with the…personal-item-stealing?
"Don't do it," Darcy says, almost quietly.
Is she backing down? Lonnie crosses his arms. "Why not?"
Darcy takes a huge step forward, thrusting her face into his personal space and seizing his t-shirt. "Just don't do it," she says, in this quiet flat tone which Lonnie suddenly realizes is actually terrifying.
But before Lonnie can even react, the door to the garage creaks open and Brie sticks her head in.
"Hey, Darcy," she chirps, "they're about to actually play something!"
For a second, the scary expression melts from Darcy's face. "I'll be right there!" she calls. Then she turns back to Lonnie and shakes him by the shirt. "Stay away from Rayn. If you know what's good for you."
Lonnie takes a stumbling step backwards when she releases him, feeling a little shell-shocked. "Was that a threat?" he e calls after her back, as she disappears back into the garage. She doesn't answer and the door swings shut.
Before Lonnie has a chance to exhale, the door opens again. This time Cass sticks her head in. "Oh, there you are," she says. "How's the mission going?"
"I don't know…" Lonnie says slowly. "I asked Darcy to help and…she got all scary."
Cass wrinkles her nose. "Scary? Her?"
"Very."
"Why?"
"I have no idea." Lonnie shakes his head. "But I'm beginning to think we should abort the mission. Or at least postpone it."
Cass seems to think about it for a second. "In that case," she says, pointing back towards the garage, "can we get out of here before they actually start playing?"
* * *
As a gust of wind rattles through the trees, Lonnie sits at the picnic table, tugging his hat down over his ears. The sun has dipped behind the hills, but there's still enough daylight to see the traffic passing up on the road above the bike trail. Lonnie expected to see more people down here, but while he's waiting only two or three pass by. It never hurts to park farther away from the family-friendly festivities.
Lonnie's checking the time on his phone when he sees Mike's car-finally!-pull into the gravel parking lot.
"Hey!" Lonnie calls, the second Mike steps out of the car. "I was wondering if you were still coming."
"Sorry," Mike says. He slams the car door and jogs over to the picnic tables. "I've just been running late all day. You want to walk down to the pumpkin patch now?"
Lonnie hops to his feet. "Yeah, I am so ready to look at some pumpkins."
The arched sign for the farm is just visible from where they are , and after they start down the trail, Lonnie can also see where a large wooden maze has been set up. When the wind picks up again, Mike shivers, tugging his jacket zipper a little higher. "You know," he says. "This is almost like a date.
"Oh, yeah," Lonnie says. He's still looking at the maze. Would a life size maze even be fun? What if you got stuck, then what?
"I'm a little surprised you didn't try to invite Darcy," Mike says.
Lonnie's attention snaps back from the maze. "Hey, speaking of Darcy…did she tell you about, um…"
"Your plans for the love spell?" Mike says. Lonnie thinks he's smiling, but the daylight's fading so it's hard to be sure. "Yeah, actually. She did."
"Oh." Lonnie looks away for a second and stuffs his hands in his pockets. Then he looks at Mike again. "Are you mad?"
"Not really," Mike says. "I mean, the intention was shitty but…this is all a little hard to take seriously. I'm not even convinced you thought it was going to work."
Lonnie frowns down at his shoes. "Well, Darcy seemed to think it was going to work. I think she's mad at me now."
"Well, did you actually try to cast it?" Mike asks. When Lonnie shakes his head, he says, "Then she's probably not that mad at you." He nudges Lonnie's shoulder. "I'm impressed you finally showed some restraint."
"Well, I was sort of threatened out of it…" Lonnie kicks a piece of gravel.
Mike laughs. After a few second of walking in silence, he asks, "So what are you gonna do with the spell, then?"
"I don't know," Lonnie says. "I guess I need to put some thought into it. And really step back and consider all the potential consequences before I do anything…"
"It's cute that you think you have that kind of power," Mike says.
"But what if I did?"
Now Mike's looking at him like he's trying to tell if he's serious or not. Lonnie isn't sure if he's serious. He is hoping he at least sounded responsible. Then Mike stops walking and reaches out to grab his sleeve. "Hey, I'll tell you what," he says. "Since I hate to see you throw your money away, I'll give you my full permission to use it on me."
Lonnie stands there, mouth slightly open. Then he twists away with a sound of disgust. "Seriously? Even you think I need to use it on you? Come on!"
Mike looks stunned. "Wait, what?"
"I can't believe this!" Lonnie exclaims. He turns back down the path and starts to stomp off towards the lights of the pumpkin patch. "Oh, I am going to need to see some really deformed pumpkins before I can get over this…"
"Wait!" Mike calls after him. "I was trying to be nice this time! Lonnie, wait up! Seriously, wait!"
…yeah, that was the end.
SILLINESS.