Comments | runaway_tales: Pomegranate 9

niee87 in runaway_tales

Pomegranate 9

Aug 27, 2011 19:58

Author: Casey
Story: Nothing is Ever Easy universe, Pre-NIEE
Challenges: Pomegranate 9 (condolences)
Toppings & Extras: Whipped Cream, Cookie Crumbs ( this), Malt (Crumbled up Cookie things request by Nath)
Word Count: 727
Rating: G
Summary: Jasmine has a rough morning.
Notes: First post from the ship. I apologize in advance for what will be ( Read more... )

[extra] malt, [topping] whipped cream, [topping] cookie crumbs, [challenge] pomegranate, [author] casey

Comments 8

ichthusfish August 28 2011, 02:15:05 UTC

Aww! Hopefully they did something fun and girly. The bit about them rarely catching fish made me laugh, considering how much they were bragging in the other piece. Nicely written :)

Have fun cruising! =D

niee87 August 29 2011, 23:31:09 UTC

Haha, yeah, they've always wanted the younger two to feel left out so greatly exaggerated their catching prowess :P I'm sure they had a lot of fun!

So far so good!

nathskywalker August 28 2011, 12:14:24 UTC

There is so much emotion in this and the voice feels like a child's. I probably would have cried as well after that rejection. Colin is just an evil bully and her not expecting it makes it so much worse for poor Jasmine :(

Alisha really saves the situation though and whatever it is she does with Jasmine, I really hope it's the most awesome thing ever and that Colin is actually jealous when he comes back 'cause let's be honest, fishing sucks ;)

How's the ship?

niee87 August 29 2011, 23:32:36 UTC

Colin can totally be an evil bully, although most of the time the two get along amazingly. I'm glad the voice sounded like a child - I was aiming that!

Alisha is completely awesome and I'm not sure Colin is necessarily jealous but he is definitely properly contrite when all is said and done! Yeah, I agree about fishing :P Boring!

The ship is good so far! Hopefully it shall continue in that vein :P

lady_macbeth_19 August 28 2011, 13:56:43 UTC

awwww. sibling dynamics, as you know, my weakness :P I love Jasmine's childish reactions here: they're so true to the age you're trying to portray. I also love this image of her dragging this teddy with her. and LOL at the "they don't really ever catch fish" part :P
XxLil
PS. hope cruising is going well! :P

niee87 August 29 2011, 23:33:28 UTC

Hehe, as I do know! I've had a lot of experience with kids that age, so I was fairly sure I'd gotten it right but it's nice to hear anyway! Yeah, that teddy goes everywhere for another year or so and then she decides she outgrows it.

Cruising is going well so far! Thanks for reading :)

kay_brooke August 29 2011, 18:59:50 UTC

Aw, poor Jasmine, to be rejected by her brother like that. I hope his mother puts some sense into him and he doesn't treat his sister like that again, even though he probably will. Brothers can be like that.

Nice piece!

niee87 August 29 2011, 23:34:12 UTC

Yeah, Jasmine is NOT HAPPY with this. Alisha definitely gives him what for and he's generally pretty good about being nice to her, since they are BFFs. Jasmine gets him back a few times too ;)

Thanks!