(no subject)
Aldan's gaze was burning a brand into the side of her face and she wondered if he knew already or if he was just working it out now. "I mean, he has magic. I could feel it and it was terrifying, okay? He's not someone you want to fight, Fai."
"And what else am I supposed to do?" Fai all but shouted, expression twisting into something like agony. "I can't just leave Shuang there- Wherever he's gone-"
"That's what I mean," Kitra replied, "I don't even know where they've taken him, I just know-"
"That they have," Aldan said now, standing. Kitra forced herself to look at him and yes, there it was - he knew. He knew what she was. She risked a glance at Lana, but the woman didn't appear to have worked it out yet. Okay. That had to count for something.
"We'll have to wait," Aldan said. "If Shuang knows who's taken him then they'll know you too, Fai. They'll let you know what's happening and we can take it from there."
Fai muttered something under his breath but nodded. "Fine," he said. "But once I find out where he is, I'm going to find him - whether I get help or not."
He walked out of the room and Kitra sank into a chair, noting dimly that she was shaking all over. Lana didn't seem to notice, angrily stalking after Fai, but Aldan came and touched her gently on the arm, crouching beside her.
"Don't worry about it," he said and she wasn't sure if he was talking about Shuang or the magic. "We'll all fix this, in the end."
*
She couldn't have anticipated the news that reached them the next morning. It was Lana who brought it, who walked into the kitchen - and Kitra felt her whole back tense up when she saw the wary look she cast Fai's way. This wasn't good.
"I've had word of Shuang," she said and the bodyguard lifted his head in surprise.
"What?" he asked, standing.
"They're going to- He's going to be hanged. Today. Midday. They're saying he's the magic user and they're going to hang him in the square."
Fai dropped back into his chair again, his expression lost. Kitra felt the weight of Aldan's gaze on her again, but said nothing. She knew what he wanted her to do - what Fai would want her to do. She couldn't. Revealing herself like that, to everyone who would be at the execution; never mind that man. She realised suddenly she was shaking her head. No. She couldn't.
"You have to help me," Fai said quietly, glancing at her when she didn't answer. Kitra felt her whole body freeze.
"I can't," she croaked out, hating herself even as she said it. But if Fai had felt what she had felt; if he'd seen that unnatural man, then- He'd understand.
The look in his eyes told her the truth. He didn't understand. He didn't get one bit of it, couldn't see beyond what he wanted to do. How was she supposed to help, anyway? She hadn't controlled her magic when she'd faced that assassin, not really - and hadn't that been enough?
Guilt and unfairness swirled in her throat and choked her and Kitra got up and walked out of the room, taking the stairs two at a time.
*
Aldan let himself into her room an hour later. "Fai's still going," he said.
Kitra was sitting on her bed and didn't look at him. She nodded, though.
"Lana - Lana's thinking of going too. Just in case. I want to go with her but she doesn't want to leave you alone."
"Does she know?"
There was a long pause but Kitra's eyes didn't move from the ground. Eventually, she heard a heavy sigh.
"Not yet. But she's not stupid."
"That man is evil, Aldan," Kitra said.
She felt the bed move as Aldan sat down beside her. "That man has Shuang," he replied quietly. "I won't ask you to go - it's far too dangerous and I think for two of us to die- But I want to know, from you, right now. Are you more scared of that man than you are that Shuang will die today?"
Kitra flinched when she heard the door open and close downstairs. "You can't ask me to do this," she whispered.
"I'm not asking you. I would never. Shuang would never, either, you know that. Fai wouldn't, if it were anyone else. If he was in his right mind today."
She did look at him then - and remembered that just because Aldan was a scholar, it didn't mean he knew nothing about people.
"Shuang wouldn't leave alone if it wasn't necessary," she said slowly. "And it would only be necessary if one of us was threatened." Aldan nodded but Kitra sighed, feeling nervous energy judder up her spine. "He's going to die for me today."
"No," Aldan said and his voice was sharp. "If he does - it's not your fault."
"It is if I sit here and do nothing," she said, glad her voice was steady. The fear was still there, when she thought about that man, but- Aldan was right. Her fear for Shuang was stronger than that.
Aldan stood and touched her shoulder briefly. "Good luck," he said.
Kitra almost smiled. "Tell Lana if I- if I come back, I'll come back here. Okay? So you guys don't leave or whatever."
"Okay."
Kitra climbed out of the window and onto the roof. The stone beneath her feet was familiar and the wind teased her hair and she took a deep breath, pushing the fear aside. For Shuang. For him, this, she could do.
"And what else am I supposed to do?" Fai all but shouted, expression twisting into something like agony. "I can't just leave Shuang there- Wherever he's gone-"
"That's what I mean," Kitra replied, "I don't even know where they've taken him, I just know-"
"That they have," Aldan said now, standing. Kitra forced herself to look at him and yes, there it was - he knew. He knew what she was. She risked a glance at Lana, but the woman didn't appear to have worked it out yet. Okay. That had to count for something.
"We'll have to wait," Aldan said. "If Shuang knows who's taken him then they'll know you too, Fai. They'll let you know what's happening and we can take it from there."
Fai muttered something under his breath but nodded. "Fine," he said. "But once I find out where he is, I'm going to find him - whether I get help or not."
He walked out of the room and Kitra sank into a chair, noting dimly that she was shaking all over. Lana didn't seem to notice, angrily stalking after Fai, but Aldan came and touched her gently on the arm, crouching beside her.
"Don't worry about it," he said and she wasn't sure if he was talking about Shuang or the magic. "We'll all fix this, in the end."
*
She couldn't have anticipated the news that reached them the next morning. It was Lana who brought it, who walked into the kitchen - and Kitra felt her whole back tense up when she saw the wary look she cast Fai's way. This wasn't good.
"I've had word of Shuang," she said and the bodyguard lifted his head in surprise.
"What?" he asked, standing.
"They're going to- He's going to be hanged. Today. Midday. They're saying he's the magic user and they're going to hang him in the square."
Fai dropped back into his chair again, his expression lost. Kitra felt the weight of Aldan's gaze on her again, but said nothing. She knew what he wanted her to do - what Fai would want her to do. She couldn't. Revealing herself like that, to everyone who would be at the execution; never mind that man. She realised suddenly she was shaking her head. No. She couldn't.
"You have to help me," Fai said quietly, glancing at her when she didn't answer. Kitra felt her whole body freeze.
"I can't," she croaked out, hating herself even as she said it. But if Fai had felt what she had felt; if he'd seen that unnatural man, then- He'd understand.
The look in his eyes told her the truth. He didn't understand. He didn't get one bit of it, couldn't see beyond what he wanted to do. How was she supposed to help, anyway? She hadn't controlled her magic when she'd faced that assassin, not really - and hadn't that been enough?
Guilt and unfairness swirled in her throat and choked her and Kitra got up and walked out of the room, taking the stairs two at a time.
*
Aldan let himself into her room an hour later. "Fai's still going," he said.
Kitra was sitting on her bed and didn't look at him. She nodded, though.
"Lana - Lana's thinking of going too. Just in case. I want to go with her but she doesn't want to leave you alone."
"Does she know?"
There was a long pause but Kitra's eyes didn't move from the ground. Eventually, she heard a heavy sigh.
"Not yet. But she's not stupid."
"That man is evil, Aldan," Kitra said.
She felt the bed move as Aldan sat down beside her. "That man has Shuang," he replied quietly. "I won't ask you to go - it's far too dangerous and I think for two of us to die- But I want to know, from you, right now. Are you more scared of that man than you are that Shuang will die today?"
Kitra flinched when she heard the door open and close downstairs. "You can't ask me to do this," she whispered.
"I'm not asking you. I would never. Shuang would never, either, you know that. Fai wouldn't, if it were anyone else. If he was in his right mind today."
She did look at him then - and remembered that just because Aldan was a scholar, it didn't mean he knew nothing about people.
"Shuang wouldn't leave alone if it wasn't necessary," she said slowly. "And it would only be necessary if one of us was threatened." Aldan nodded but Kitra sighed, feeling nervous energy judder up her spine. "He's going to die for me today."
"No," Aldan said and his voice was sharp. "If he does - it's not your fault."
"It is if I sit here and do nothing," she said, glad her voice was steady. The fear was still there, when she thought about that man, but- Aldan was right. Her fear for Shuang was stronger than that.
Aldan stood and touched her shoulder briefly. "Good luck," he said.
Kitra almost smiled. "Tell Lana if I- if I come back, I'll come back here. Okay? So you guys don't leave or whatever."
"Okay."
Kitra climbed out of the window and onto the roof. The stone beneath her feet was familiar and the wind teased her hair and she took a deep breath, pushing the fear aside. For Shuang. For him, this, she could do.