(Untitled)

[shayna611]

Pineapple #10. Well, When You Put It That Way
and Flavor of the Day 7/12/2011 - Assay with Malt
Story : knights & necromancers
Rating : PG
Timeframe : 1275
Word Count : 987
Malt Prompt : Summer 2010 - Everyone learns faster on fire
Word of the Day : Assay - to examine or analyze; to attempt or try

Comments

[shayna611]

thanks :)

I don't think Lyssa does schmoopy, with anyone (though it might be amusing to see her try)

With her messed up family situation and all, Mara takes a lot of crap from her peers, something I haven't really addressed much of so far.

[ninablues]

The tough love dialogue in this is glorious-- I think it's seriously my favourite part of it, even though the descriptions are also great. The big paragraph in the middle with Lyssa's passionate, disjointed speech is just wonderful. Great stuff!

[shayna611]

thank you! :)

[smoothiegarten]

I like this a lot! Lyssa's psychological tactics apparently worked well for Mara, and it's a lesson that applies to more than just swords. It's a great little section and I think it stands well on its own without the rest of the intended piece. But I would love to see what comes next.

[shayna611]

thank you! :)

What happens next is Mara does try to apply the lesson to more than swords, and well, as you can imagine, the effects aren't quite what she's hoping for, though in a roundabout way it actually does a lot for her. Maybe now that I've put it out there I will get around to continuing it. (I keep telling myself that about these things...)

[ichthusfish]

That was great to see, not just for the bonding but also some sober Lyssa interaction. She does kind of make a good teacher when she gets down to it. Nicely done :)

[shayna611]

thanks! :)

There is some very drunk Lyssa action to come in this arc, though ultimately this is leading towards her giving up the booze altogether.

In those odd cases where goading is an effective teaching method, Lyssa is excellent ;)

[nathskywalker]

Those other girls taht are mentioned at the end just piss me off to no end. Just leave Mara alone of be nice to her. I never get why kids, especially girls that age, always feel the need to be mean. Maybe Lyssa's combat training can actually help Mara with that. Well, the advise she gives, at least, not the swordfighting itself.

[shayna611]

I never really got it either, but it happens. And Mara's always trying to please them, which just makes it worse. Lyssa's advice gets her some trouble in the short run (which I'll get to eventually) but she'll be better off in the end.

thanks :)