Comments | runaway_tales: Vinegar 20: Frailty

bookblather in runaway_tales

Vinegar 20: Frailty

May 09, 2011 23:38

Title: Frailty
Main Story: In the HeartFlavors, Toppings, Extras: Vinegar 20 (best if used by ____), malt (miyabi's truth or dare: Did Farid ever regret doing what he did to Fatimah?), butterscotch, pocky chain, rainbow sprinkles, cherry (past-present-future tense shenanigans ( Read more... )

[topping] sprinkles, [challenge] vinegar, [extra] malt, [extra] pocky chain, [topping] butterscotch, [inactive-author] bookblather, [topping] cherry

Comments 17

(The comment has been removed)

bookblather May 10 2011, 04:06:53 UTC

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it so much! It was... tough, to write, and I'm not just talking about the tenses, but eventually I figured out that the reason I didn't know how he felt was because he didn't know how he felt and then it worked.

Thanks again!

walkwithheroes May 10 2011, 04:03:17 UTC

Oh, this is so bittersweet and it just makes me want to hug all three characters. Because, I honestly do not know who I feel more for in this piece. So many emotions in only a few words, and so beautifully done.

bookblather May 10 2011, 04:07:16 UTC

I don't know either. This was just a clusterfuck of a situation all around; no one really meant badly but everyone got burned.

Thank you so much!

smoothiegarten May 10 2011, 05:14:05 UTC

I see what you did there, with those tenses! It feels really natural and adds to the changing emotions of the piece. I do feel somewhat bad for Farid even though he treated Fatimah terribly. At least their marriage gains something after it's all over instead of being completely destroyed.

bookblather May 11 2011, 04:33:35 UTC

The tenses did themselves, okay? At least the first two. The future ones I added myself. And yeah, it's... not good for anyone, really, although if there's blame to be assigned Farid probably deserves the most. Thank you!

rustydragonfly May 10 2011, 06:37:22 UTC

Oh, nobody gets off well here... what a sad piece, but you can really feel the emotion, and the tense changes work wonderfully. I just want to hug all of them.

bookblather May 11 2011, 04:34:03 UTC

It was a terrible, terrible situation, and nobody got out entirely all right. I'm glad that came through. Thank you so much!

kay_brooke May 10 2011, 12:54:26 UTC

Wow. Great look into Farid's thoughts. I ended up feeling sorry for everyone caught up in this mess.

bookblather May 11 2011, 04:34:17 UTC

Basically how I feel too, so I'm glad that came through. Thank you for reading!