Shirley's happy ending
Author: Nathalia
Rating: PG
Challenge:
Angel Food #04 - holy day
Creamsicle #19 - self-esteem
Extras / Toppings: cherry (1st person, speech), sprinkles, blueberries (God grant me the courage not to give up what I think is right even though I think it is hopeless. - Chester W. Nimitz), pineapple (Atomic Kitten - The Tide is High)
Word Count: 598
Story: Misfits
Summary: Shirley’s speech upon reaching eighteen months of sobriety.
Notes: I did give her sort-of a happy ending. I think she grows to accept who she is once she leaves MA and the Misfits.
“I … I never thought I’d ever get this far. I mean, eighteen months ago, my sister’s boyfriend had to drag me to meetings and I was in such a bad state but things slowly started to look up. I had people to rely on. Tom, my sister’s boyfriend, and Wes, who I was dating back then and who went to meetings with me because he enjoyed them. I think the moment I decided that I never wanted to get anywhere near drugs again was only several months after I was clean.
“I found out I was pregnant and I thought it was the sign I needed to get a fresh start even though Tom had just died. The idea of being a mother and the memories of Tom, who would have been so disappointed if I relapsed, kept me going. My pregnancy wasn’t easy. I had so many difficulties. I was afraid that the baby might be affected by my drug abuse in the past and I didn’t know who the father was. There were two possibilities and one of the guys was with me all throughout, holding my hand and telling me he would be there for me while the other was simply pretending that I wasn’t pregnant. He’s the boyfriend, Wes, the one who I still had to see at all my meetings because that asshole decided that he wanted to keep coming even though he had no abuse issues.
“The baby... I thought he was going to give me everything I needed for a fresh start. He was born prematurely and I named him Thomas, after the man who made sure that I would stay sober, that I would get clean and stay on the right path. I felt like he would be so proud of me if he saw me then, sober for eleven months. Having Thomas was the happiest moment in my life but it didn’t last too long.
“He died. They said his lungs were underdeveloped. He was only five days old and oh my God, I had no idea how quick something I thought was the best thing in my life suddenly became the worst. I cried for days, didn’t want to do anything. There were people looking out for me and it was only because of their support that I didn’t go out and find myself a dealer and get my fix.
“Now, I’m here, six months later, and for the first time in my life, I’m on my own. After Thomas died, I left this group of friends I had. I couldn’t keep living near them, thinking about my baby all the time. I needed a fresh start, even if it wasn’t my baby who made it possible for me. I moved here, I got a job, and it’s never easy but I know that I can keep going, slowly but steadily.
“Sometimes I still get the urge to get a fix. Especially in the beginning, after I had just moved here and didn’t know anyone and had so many doubts about if I had made the right decisions but now I can say that I did. I’ve been here for a little over four months, have been coming to these meetings for about that long and they -- and you -- give me the strength to keep going.
“Today, I’ve been clean for eighteen months, something I never thought I’d accomplish, but it’s a huge step. And I like my life. I like all of it. I like being clean and I want to stay that way.”