Germination: papaya 9, white chocolate 8

[carnageincminor]

Hello! This is my first post. May I have an author tag please? =)

Author: carnageincminor
Story Arc: The Art of Losing
Title: Germination
Flavours: Papaya 9 (I've got my eye on you), White Chocolate 8 (helplessness)
Rating: PG
Summary: This is the first/introductory segment to the main story arc. Jamie laments the return of her boyfriend's ex.

Comments

[carnageincminor]

All thanks to you, otherwise I wouldn't have found this comm! Thanks for reading and glad you like it =)

[rustydragonfly]

Welcome! I really liked the opening of the story, contrasting the TV show style "we'll always be together" thing with what happens in real life. Sad, but so very true...

[carnageincminor]

Thank you! Glad you liked it =)

[nathskywalker]

Welcome to RaTs. I added your tag as carnageincminor because you didn't specify anything else.

The story seems interesting. I like slice of life and you made Jamie's thoughts fun to read and I could feel how she was slowly panicking even though as Erica said it might not be anything major.

The only thing that threw me off a little was the introduction to the piece where you get into Mila and Crystal because I was getting ready for a story about Jamie's relationship to them and then all of a sudden it's about her fears about her boyfriend.

[carnageincminor]

Thank you! The tag is exactly as I would have wanted =)

And thanks for your input. I know it's a rather abrupt change; I think I could have transitioned it better but I was a bit impatient =/ If you're curious, the story arc is going to be episodic in format, hence this piece focused on Jamie although, as an introduction, I also wanted to give a brief picture of the other main characters.

[ninablues]

Ooh, I can so sympathise with the situation vis-a-vis her friends. I met my two best ever friends in Year Seven and we've been inseperable ever since-- this September we're leaving to go to different universities all over the place (me in London, one in Cardiff and the other in Southampton) and it's making me sad! XD

Anyway, random fact for you there. I love the tone of writing, with Jamie addressing the reader, very casual and easygoing. Looking forwards to seeing more of it.

And welcome to the comm! :D

[carnageincminor]

Thank you! Glad you're liking it; I don't usually do first person POV so it's interesting for me to see how it turns out.

I've got a fairly tight group of friends from school and I'm very glad we haven't drifted off too much =) I'm sure you and your friends will still be able to keep in touch despite the geographical split!

[ninablues]

I don't generally write in first person either but it seems like you're doing a good job of it so far. :)

[bookblather]

Hey! Welcome to the comm!

I like the relationships you've set up here, between Jamie and Brendan, Jamie and her sister, and Jamie and her friends. Looking forward to seeing more of this!

[carnageincminor]

Thank you! Glad you're liking it =)