Felix/Soul and Firebird Being a Voyeur
Story: Blaze Mob Family
Title: An Honest Mistake
Prompts: Chocolate #5: mercy, Amaretto #29: a technicality, Vinegar #2: may cause drowsiness
Rating: R for (SURPRISE!) language and violence
Characters: Felix Wade, Soul Wade, unlucky schmuck #7
Summary: No particular time. Sometimes even professionals can make mistakes.
“I don’t think this is our guy, Felix.”
Felix looked up at Soul but didn’t stop in his task of binding the unconscious man to his own dining room chair. “What do you mean?”
Soul held up the man’s wallet. “His driver’s license says he’s Jackson Smith, not Emmitt Holmes.”
Felix stood up to look at the ID. He shrugged. “So he’s got a fake ID.”
“And fake credit cards? Fake social security card?” Soul pointed at each of the cards in turn.
“He covered all his bases,” Felix said, though he was starting to get that feathery itch at the back of his neck that always told him when he’d missed something important.
“He’s got a membership card for the city planetarium under this name.”
“Aw, fuck.” A planetarium membership was taking the whole cover ID theory a bit far, especially for their target, who was known through the city to be an opportunistic idiot that was having a good day if he remembered how to tie his shoes correctly.
Felix pulled out the picture they’d been given to identify their target. He grabbed Smith/Holmes by the hair and jerked his lolling head backwards so he could set the picture next to his victim’s face for comparison.
“This bastard looks like Holmes!”
“No,” Soul said, peering over Felix’s shoulder, “Look at their noses. Holmes’ nose has been broken a couple times by the looks of it.” Soul pointed at Smith/Holmes nose. “Straight as an arrow.”
“Are you trying to fucking tell me that we got the wrong fucking nose?” Felix snapped.
Soul shrugged. “Their jaws look a little different too, if that helps.”
“What a fucking mess.” Felix muttered. “Put your mask back on. We’ll ask this bastard himself who he is.”
Soul pulled his ski mask back down over his face and Felix followed suit. “Hey!” Felix yelled and hit Smith/Holmes across the face. “Wake the fuck up, you bastard!”
It took a few more bolstering slaps to the face before Smith/Holmes stirred. Felix and Soul both knew when he’d finally broken through the filmy blackness of unconsciousness when Smith/Holmes’ eyes widened dramatically and he opened his mouth to scream.
Felix slapped his hand over Smith/Holmes mouth, pressing hard enough on his jaw bone to keep his attention. “Don’t fucking make a sound, bastard. If you do,
We’ll cut out your tongue.”
Smith/Holmes was already crying, big fat tears rolling down his rough cheeks. Felix tightened his grip on Smith/Holmes jaw in reflex. Holmes may have been stupid as a box of hair, but he was a tough bastard. There’s no way he’d start bawling so soon in the game.
“I’m going to ask you a question. You are going to answer the question completely and truthfully. We’ll know if you’re lying so don’t fucking try. And don’t scream or do any of that stupid shit. Nod if you understand.”
Smith/Holmes jerked his head up and down wildly.
“What’s your name?” Felix asked, then removed his hand.
“J-Jackson Bartholomew Smith! I swear I haven’t done any-”
Felix put his hand back on Smith/Holmes mouth. “We don’t need to hear the extra shit.”
“I don’t think he’s lying,” Soul said.
Felix didn’t think so either, but he was going to be damn sure before he admitted that they’d made such a huge mistake. “Give us proof that you are who you say you are. Not your fucking IDs, something else that no one would have but you.”
Smith/Holmes panicked, obviously trying to think clear enough to figure out how to prove his identity then he nodded and Felix let go of him.
“My wedding pictures! I-i-in the living room on the mantle. It has both of our names on it, I swear!”
Soul was already on his way into the living room. Felix waited for his partner to come back with said picture, the itch at his neck become a full on tingle now.
Soul walked back in with a standard picture frame. “He’s not lying,” Soul said as he handed Felix the frame. It was an older picture and the man in the picture looked much younger than Smith or Holmes did but there was no mistaking that this was him. And there at the bottom in gold lettering was “Jackson and Bonnie Smith”.
“Fuck.” Felix growled. Soul pulled his gun out of his shoulder holster and turned to Smith.
“No! God no! Don’t kill me! Please God, n-”
Soul hit Smith in the temple with the butt of his gun. Smith slumped back in the chair, unconscious again. Soul cut through the man’s bonds and got rid of all evidence that they were there while Felix muttered under his breath and put their tools back in their bag.
“Ready?” Soul asked.
“Yeah,” sighed Felix. “We’re never gonna hear the end of this.”
Story: The Blaze Mob Family
Title: Unfortunate Encounter
Prompts: Chocolate #15: passion, Amaretto #3: third wheel, Vinegar #9: this end up + chopped nuts
Rating: PG13 for teenage fumbling
Characters: Firebird Blaze, random high school couple
Summary: High School AU. This is a remarkably silly and awkward scene, but I’ve always thought sex to be remarkably silly and awkward, and sex in a high school doubly so. XD
Firebird could not have walked in at a more inopportune time. In her defense, she certainly hadn’t been expecting to find an amorous couple in the math department’s supply closet. Why would anyone think that a math closet would be a good place to mess around in? Was math class really that titillating for some people?
She paused in the doorway. The couple hadn’t seen her so she could just walk out now and forget that she’d ever been subjected to such awkward fumbling. On the other hand, she did come here for a reason and returning to class empty handed would require an explanation. Firebird certainly wasn’t going to lie for these two, but telling the truth would no doubt mean that some sort of school scandal would arise and the principal and counselor would get involved. If there was one thing that Firebird would like to avoid, it was giving the school counselor any opportunity to drag Firebird into her office so she could talk about her “motivations” and her feelings about her future.
The only real option was to get what she had come for.
“Excuse me,” Firebird said, not wanting to wait and force herself to watch the couple a moment longer. Did that boy have any idea whatsoever how a woman’s body was made?
The response was immediate and, Firebird thought, out of proportion. The girl screamed bloody murder, which made Firebird jump a little because it was so uncalled for. She pushed away from her partner so hard that he fell backwards off of the small stool they’d been propped on, straight into the bookshelves holding the pencils and pens. He howled in pain, holding his head and trying his best to shield himself from the writing utensils raining down on his mostly unclothed body.
“Are you quite finished?” Firebird asked the both of them when the chaos settled down a bit.
“What the hell is your problem?” The girl shrieked, grabbing for her shirt so she could cover her bare chest.
Firebird raised an eyebrow but didn’t otherwise acknowledge the girl’s insult. She understood that perhaps they were both a bit flustered. “Would you please hand me a stack of the green books behind you?”
“What?” The girl stared at her uncomprehendingly.
Firebird pointed at the shelf. “The green books. I need some.”
The girl shook her head to try and clear away her obvious shock, then reached behind her and grabbed a huge stack of the paper books. She held them out to Firebird.
“Thank you.” Firebird turned away and had about pulled the door shut before she was struck with a rather mean idea. It wasn't her fault. She came from a family of sadists.
“Oh, for future reference,” Firebird turned back around like the thought had just come to mind. Both the boy and the girl scrambled to cover themselves up again. “You might find it easier to use if you put the condom on the correct way.”
The girl’s panicked squawk could be heard through the closed door perfectly. Firebird smirked. Honestly, if people didn’t want to get messed with, then they shouldn’t be trying to have a lover’s tryst where she could find them.
Title: An Honest Mistake
Prompts: Chocolate #5: mercy, Amaretto #29: a technicality, Vinegar #2: may cause drowsiness
Rating: R for (SURPRISE!) language and violence
Characters: Felix Wade, Soul Wade, unlucky schmuck #7
Summary: No particular time. Sometimes even professionals can make mistakes.
“I don’t think this is our guy, Felix.”
Felix looked up at Soul but didn’t stop in his task of binding the unconscious man to his own dining room chair. “What do you mean?”
Soul held up the man’s wallet. “His driver’s license says he’s Jackson Smith, not Emmitt Holmes.”
Felix stood up to look at the ID. He shrugged. “So he’s got a fake ID.”
“And fake credit cards? Fake social security card?” Soul pointed at each of the cards in turn.
“He covered all his bases,” Felix said, though he was starting to get that feathery itch at the back of his neck that always told him when he’d missed something important.
“He’s got a membership card for the city planetarium under this name.”
“Aw, fuck.” A planetarium membership was taking the whole cover ID theory a bit far, especially for their target, who was known through the city to be an opportunistic idiot that was having a good day if he remembered how to tie his shoes correctly.
Felix pulled out the picture they’d been given to identify their target. He grabbed Smith/Holmes by the hair and jerked his lolling head backwards so he could set the picture next to his victim’s face for comparison.
“This bastard looks like Holmes!”
“No,” Soul said, peering over Felix’s shoulder, “Look at their noses. Holmes’ nose has been broken a couple times by the looks of it.” Soul pointed at Smith/Holmes nose. “Straight as an arrow.”
“Are you trying to fucking tell me that we got the wrong fucking nose?” Felix snapped.
Soul shrugged. “Their jaws look a little different too, if that helps.”
“What a fucking mess.” Felix muttered. “Put your mask back on. We’ll ask this bastard himself who he is.”
Soul pulled his ski mask back down over his face and Felix followed suit. “Hey!” Felix yelled and hit Smith/Holmes across the face. “Wake the fuck up, you bastard!”
It took a few more bolstering slaps to the face before Smith/Holmes stirred. Felix and Soul both knew when he’d finally broken through the filmy blackness of unconsciousness when Smith/Holmes’ eyes widened dramatically and he opened his mouth to scream.
Felix slapped his hand over Smith/Holmes mouth, pressing hard enough on his jaw bone to keep his attention. “Don’t fucking make a sound, bastard. If you do,
We’ll cut out your tongue.”
Smith/Holmes was already crying, big fat tears rolling down his rough cheeks. Felix tightened his grip on Smith/Holmes jaw in reflex. Holmes may have been stupid as a box of hair, but he was a tough bastard. There’s no way he’d start bawling so soon in the game.
“I’m going to ask you a question. You are going to answer the question completely and truthfully. We’ll know if you’re lying so don’t fucking try. And don’t scream or do any of that stupid shit. Nod if you understand.”
Smith/Holmes jerked his head up and down wildly.
“What’s your name?” Felix asked, then removed his hand.
“J-Jackson Bartholomew Smith! I swear I haven’t done any-”
Felix put his hand back on Smith/Holmes mouth. “We don’t need to hear the extra shit.”
“I don’t think he’s lying,” Soul said.
Felix didn’t think so either, but he was going to be damn sure before he admitted that they’d made such a huge mistake. “Give us proof that you are who you say you are. Not your fucking IDs, something else that no one would have but you.”
Smith/Holmes panicked, obviously trying to think clear enough to figure out how to prove his identity then he nodded and Felix let go of him.
“My wedding pictures! I-i-in the living room on the mantle. It has both of our names on it, I swear!”
Soul was already on his way into the living room. Felix waited for his partner to come back with said picture, the itch at his neck become a full on tingle now.
Soul walked back in with a standard picture frame. “He’s not lying,” Soul said as he handed Felix the frame. It was an older picture and the man in the picture looked much younger than Smith or Holmes did but there was no mistaking that this was him. And there at the bottom in gold lettering was “Jackson and Bonnie Smith”.
“Fuck.” Felix growled. Soul pulled his gun out of his shoulder holster and turned to Smith.
“No! God no! Don’t kill me! Please God, n-”
Soul hit Smith in the temple with the butt of his gun. Smith slumped back in the chair, unconscious again. Soul cut through the man’s bonds and got rid of all evidence that they were there while Felix muttered under his breath and put their tools back in their bag.
“Ready?” Soul asked.
“Yeah,” sighed Felix. “We’re never gonna hear the end of this.”
Story: The Blaze Mob Family
Title: Unfortunate Encounter
Prompts: Chocolate #15: passion, Amaretto #3: third wheel, Vinegar #9: this end up + chopped nuts
Rating: PG13 for teenage fumbling
Characters: Firebird Blaze, random high school couple
Summary: High School AU. This is a remarkably silly and awkward scene, but I’ve always thought sex to be remarkably silly and awkward, and sex in a high school doubly so. XD
Firebird could not have walked in at a more inopportune time. In her defense, she certainly hadn’t been expecting to find an amorous couple in the math department’s supply closet. Why would anyone think that a math closet would be a good place to mess around in? Was math class really that titillating for some people?
She paused in the doorway. The couple hadn’t seen her so she could just walk out now and forget that she’d ever been subjected to such awkward fumbling. On the other hand, she did come here for a reason and returning to class empty handed would require an explanation. Firebird certainly wasn’t going to lie for these two, but telling the truth would no doubt mean that some sort of school scandal would arise and the principal and counselor would get involved. If there was one thing that Firebird would like to avoid, it was giving the school counselor any opportunity to drag Firebird into her office so she could talk about her “motivations” and her feelings about her future.
The only real option was to get what she had come for.
“Excuse me,” Firebird said, not wanting to wait and force herself to watch the couple a moment longer. Did that boy have any idea whatsoever how a woman’s body was made?
The response was immediate and, Firebird thought, out of proportion. The girl screamed bloody murder, which made Firebird jump a little because it was so uncalled for. She pushed away from her partner so hard that he fell backwards off of the small stool they’d been propped on, straight into the bookshelves holding the pencils and pens. He howled in pain, holding his head and trying his best to shield himself from the writing utensils raining down on his mostly unclothed body.
“Are you quite finished?” Firebird asked the both of them when the chaos settled down a bit.
“What the hell is your problem?” The girl shrieked, grabbing for her shirt so she could cover her bare chest.
Firebird raised an eyebrow but didn’t otherwise acknowledge the girl’s insult. She understood that perhaps they were both a bit flustered. “Would you please hand me a stack of the green books behind you?”
“What?” The girl stared at her uncomprehendingly.
Firebird pointed at the shelf. “The green books. I need some.”
The girl shook her head to try and clear away her obvious shock, then reached behind her and grabbed a huge stack of the paper books. She held them out to Firebird.
“Thank you.” Firebird turned away and had about pulled the door shut before she was struck with a rather mean idea. It wasn't her fault. She came from a family of sadists.
“Oh, for future reference,” Firebird turned back around like the thought had just come to mind. Both the boy and the girl scrambled to cover themselves up again. “You might find it easier to use if you put the condom on the correct way.”
The girl’s panicked squawk could be heard through the closed door perfectly. Firebird smirked. Honestly, if people didn’t want to get messed with, then they shouldn’t be trying to have a lover’s tryst where she could find them.