chocolate 21. pride

[hi_falootin]

chocolate 21. pride
story: second chances ; rodeo summer . wordcount: 1800. rating: pg13.

"Yes. I want to punch you in the face. Get out of the truck." Mike and Jerry...settle their differences. But like not you'd think.

notes: other rodeo summer stuff might provide context. for the summer challenge, +1.5k for team me & shayna!

Comments

[hi_falootin]

Oh, I'm glad to hear Jerry's dialogue at the end worked...I was trying for like...dramatic w/o melodramatic? Never know if I'm getting that right XD thank you!

[shayna611]

This whole piece kicks ass.

The almost-fight at the truck is by far the best part. I was seriously on the edge of my seat going "Go Mike!" and "oh shit" at the same time...and laughing, cause there's something that's just so wrong it's right about Mike telling someone "I want to punch you in the face."

And I love the way the tension built to the final conversation, and Mike's reactions there were priceless as well. He is just such a big fluffy doormat of a guy, that even if he wanted to punch him in the face that afternoon he's still deferring to his needs and I just love him. (I think Mike and Darcy vie for the place of my favorite among your folks, though for totally different reasons)

[hi_falootin]

yay, I'm glad you liked this one! I definitely felt the "so wrong it's...right?" thing with Mike's line there too...I waffled a bit, but I'm glad I decided to go with it now. Also I knew you liked Darcy, but I don't think I knew you liked Mike so much too :) So yay! I've definitely been having fun writing him lately. Thank you!

[shayna611]

I think Mike has more slowly crept into my heart - whereas Darcy is always amusing, Mike has more like moments of sheer awesomeness

and Mike is a doormat and doormats snap, so it was completely believable and I am so glad you went with it

[bookblather]

Oh, man, finally. I'm glad Jerry finally got that out of his system; maybe he'll start being his normal jerky self and not overwhelmingly so. Lovely job building up the tension and then releasing it! I particularly like it in the scene where Mike's about to punch Jerry and then Jerry defuses it.

[hi_falootin]

Thank you! I had that scene in my head for a while now, so I'm glad you liked the way it turned out :)

[sarcasticsra]

...you actually made me feel bad for Jerry, sort of. A little. He's still an idiot, though.

Lol at Mike telling him to get off the truck so he can punch him in the face. Nice.

Love this!

[hi_falootin]

lol that is basically how I feel about Jerry too. Thank you! :D

[kay_brooke]

I love the dialogue in this. It feels very real to me.

[hi_falootin]

thank you :)