Comments | runaway_tales: Rocky Road 30: No Giving Up

bookblather in runaway_tales

Rocky Road 30: No Giving Up

Jun 21, 2010 23:22

Title: No Giving Up
Main Story: In the HeartFlavors, Toppings, Extras: Rocky road 30 (left in the dark), malt (PFAH: Danny : yield for nothing), whipped cream ( Read more... )

[challenge] rocky road, [extra] malt, [topping] whipped cream, [inactive-author] bookblather

Comments 20

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bookblather June 22 2010, 06:47:04 UTC

Thank you! I have a younger brother myself, so at least part of it is probably experience. Danny and Michael, though, they sort of write themselves. There's an edge of comrades-in-arms in them that I like to write. And she's not entirely reliable in this; there's a lot of subtext and problems that she can't understand because of her age, and by the time she's old enough she doesn't want to understand. I should write some more with her parents. Anyway. Thanks so much for your compliments, and for reading! I'm glad you liked this and my brother-sister relationships. :D

sarcasticsra June 22 2010, 06:19:06 UTC

...ugh, poor Danny. WTF, Danny's mom, you suck. Go join Yvonne in the People Who Need To GTFO Club. Go. Shoo.

This is really great. It's heartbreaking, and at the same time, her resolve and determination comes through so well, and you get a real sense of her. Nicely done.

bookblather June 22 2010, 06:48:55 UTC

There's actually a lot of stuff that Danny can't or won't pick up on... namely, Danny's mom is not a sociopath, although she's not a nice person either, really. She should probably GTFA anyway. I'm glad that you like it, though! She does get a lot of her strengths from her childhood, as well as her issues.

mari_mac1109 June 22 2010, 07:18:32 UTC

You do need to do more with Danny and Michael, because this was awesome! I especially loved the little wink and pride exchange at the end.

You really set the scene and described what was around Danny so well. It brought back memories of my childhood closets--though I'd hide in them, not get shut in them.

I think I need to call DCFS on your story, though. But man, the whipped cream pieces you do really, really help illustrate why the characters are the way they are when they grow up.

bookblather June 23 2010, 06:31:36 UTC

If you're going to call child services on someone, call 'em on Yvonne. Danny's mom is at least genuinely trying to raise her kids (and, y'know, not a sociopath), even if she's going about it all the wrong way. Anyway, thank you so much! There's a Danny-and-Michael-have-Adventures brownie coming up. :D I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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bookblather June 23 2010, 06:32:31 UTC

Well, Danny's mom really is trying; she's just overwhelmed as hell. But Danny doesn't understand that, and shouldn't have to. Thanks for reading!

niee87 June 22 2010, 15:15:53 UTC

Aww, Danny! :( This is awesome. I love her and Michael's relationship and we get so much of it in just this short piece too between her thoughts and the little exchange at the end of emotions. Danny's mom plainly needs to go away, but you do get a sense that Danny's not entirely reliable narrator, especially when she makes the comment that she doesn't think her mom knows what she wants either - she's hovering on the edge of knowing there's more than meets the eye and not caring because of what happens to her because of it.

bookblather June 23 2010, 06:33:25 UTC

Yeah. She's too young to really grasp what's going on. It's actually probably a good thing that she never really does understand because it might have destroyed her relationship with Michael. *shifty eyes* Anyway. I'm glad you enjoyed this! Thanks for reading!